Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Actually the turn is with me but I'm back at work this evening so it won't be done tonight either

See...there you have it. You go away for a few days and all the work just piles up. [:D]

[sprior]

Life back on even keel.

Troops for Port Hedland embarking. 2nd UK Div, 22nd East African Brigade and 7th RAN Base unit boarding. When loading is complete the TF will stand out to sea whilst troops for Broome embark.

[Cap Mandrake]

Admiral Lord Sprior
Supreme Grand Poobah All Things Brown;


Splendid to hear that you got that nasty sink drain cleaned out at Kandy House and the Operation Stoat/Weasel/Ferret/Mink/Capyburra is on!

Will the Port Headland and Broome landings be concurrent? I am going to send over some PBY's from New Zealand to help in recon. There are LB-30's standing by in Australia for employemnt in the long-range naval search role when PH or Broome are seized. I have ordered the USN submarine squadron at Townsville to push forward and patrol the approaches through the Sundas.

Good Hunting!

Admiral of the Fleet Mandrake
Cheerleader in Chief of the Green Jobs


P.S. We have just received a large number of 2 for 1 drink coupons to an establishment called the "Bali Hai Dance Club" in Perth. Am forwarding some. It might help improve morale for the follow-on troops, though we do seem to have a breach in operational security.

[Cap Mandrake]

..

[Cap Mandrake]

************22 Bar(r)ack St., Perth, Sept. 23, 1942**********

<A man in fine linen slacks enjoys a Cuban cigar outside of a busy establishment. Music and the sounds of all manner of mirth-making emerge from the door and it swings open and closed. A shorter man approaches on Bar(r)ack St., up from the harbo(u)r. He wears civies and a Yankee cap pulled down hard over his forehead. At last, he glances up toward the man with the cigar. The look on the taller man's face changes from a "master of the universe" confidence to one of astonishment.>

Man in fine linen slacks: JESUS HOWARD CHRIST! Ito-san, you crazy son of a bitch, what are you DOING here? <He drops his cigar and hustles the shorter man down the alley>

Ito-san: Herro Miro. Ito have coupon. Ito rike mai tai drink. Ito rike Tahitian womans.

Man in fine linen slacks: Santa Maria, Ito-san. I got Shore Patrol in there. There is a war on you crazy SOB. If they find you in civies they will hang you and ask questions later.

Ito-san: Ito not afraid. Ito Japanese officer.

Man in fine linen slacks: Yes, I would say that is the crux of the problem.

Ito-san: Ito have coupon.

Man in fine linen slacks: FORGET THE STUPID COUPON, MAN! Where did you even get it?

Ito-san: Mistah Hata.

Man in fine linen slacks: "Mista Hata"? In Broome you mean? How the Hell did you get down here in one day?

Ito-san: Turns take rearry rong. Easy get here.

Man in fine linen slacks: You've been taking to Yossarian too much. Look, you crazy SOB, forget the coupon. It's expired anyway. I'll have Idi bring down a half-dozen thermoses of mai tai's. On the house. Where is your boat?

Ito-san: Rottnest Isrand.

Man in fine linen slacks: Ito, you crazy SOB there is a battery down there. Do you realize the risk you took?

Ito-san: Ito Japanese officer. Umbreras?

Man in fine linen slacks: "Umbreras"?

Ito-san: Yes, parasors.

Man in fine linen slacks: Oh, you mean umbrellas?

Ito-san: Yes, that what Ito say.

Man in fine linen slacks: All right, you can have a goodamn umbrella for the drink.

Ito-san: Fifty seven.

Man in fine linen slacks: Fifty seven what?

Ito-san: Fifty seven umbreras for crew.

Man in fine linen slacks: OK, OK, fifty seven goddamn "umbreras" so your crew can have fifty seven goddamn mai tais on goddamn Rottnest Isrand right under the guns of the goddamned Royal Austrailan Navy.

Ito-san: What about womans?

Man in fine linen slacks: Look, Ito, don't push it.

Ito-san: But Ito rike Tahitian womans.

Man in fine linen slacks: Look, Ito, they aren't really Tahitian. They're from Tanna.

Ito-san: Tanna womans have big bottoms and rittle breasts. It say Bari Hai Crub.

Man in fine linen slacks: So sue me! Now stay over here until Idi comes out with the drinks you crazy SOB........

[sprior]

Sargeant MacNutt: Privare Widdle, where did you get that helmet?
Private Widdle: Found it on the trail sarge, right before we got to Kal..
Sargeant MacNutt: Kalemyo you ignorant Private. Now, give me that helmet it's not regulation.
Private Widdle: Sarge, don't you know you shouldn't take the pith?

[Kapitanma]

I really shouldn't browse this AAR during class, it gets me everytime.&nbsp;[:D]&nbsp; That said, I don't think Ito has much to fear from a few Australian rowboats.&nbsp;[;)]

[sprior]

Australian 6th and 7th Divs along with supporting troops embark for Broome.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Australian 6th and 7th Divs along with supporting troops embark for Broome.

Ah, splendid! Then it is to be a double date, Port Headland AND Broome!


****************Sept. 23, 1942****************


Oz: A B-24 raid on Broome finds Bettys on the ground. The fighters are gone from Broome . JJ is getting ready for us. One B-24 is lost to operational causes and one Betty is destroyed on the ground. Port Headland is socked in by Hurrican Ilene (pronounced "Irene" by the LYB's). No attack there. Runway damage said to be 52% at PH and 17% at Broome. The B-24's from Marakesh will attack Broome today.

SouPac: Looks like JJ are getting troops out of New Scotland and have stripped the airfields in New Scotland and Tanna and Espirtu Santo. I might be able to sneak in a cruiser group. Two regiments for Norfolk Is will start boarding in two days. Big attack at Nadi today.

[sprior]

Over in Burma JJs 4 Guards Div is till closing in on Kalemyo (shades of Austen Powers and his roller) but an armoured Brigade beats them to it. Transports from the Hump diverted to fly supplies into the Burmese Redoubt.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Over in Burma JJs 4 Guards Div is till closing in on Kalemyo (shades of Austen Powers and his roller) but an armoured Brigade beats them to it. Transports from the Hump diverted to fly supplies into the Burmese Redoubt.

That also is good news. We wouldn't want the commander to have to "take the pith" during the inevitable inquiry should JJ be victorious.

[Cap Mandrake]

Funny story my brother told when the fish weren't biting in Silver Creek.


He was in the Pro-Am/Celebrity fundraising golf tournament a few years back. He was in a foursome with Craig Stadler (PGA golfer).

On the first hole he gets out there and kills his drive about 5 yds further than Stadler right down the middle of the fairway. Stadler says, "Nice". I think one is supposed to say things like that in a fundraiser.

On the next hole my brother tops the ball and it squirts off into the woods about 60 yds from the tee. [:D]

Stadler says, "Greg were you an athlete but got in some terrible car accident or something? You have a powerful swing but you have NO idea where the ball is going , do you?" [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Another funny golf celebrity story. Stop me if I told this one....oh wait...you can't stop me can you? [:)]

Another brother used to be the materials scientist for Cleveland (the club manufacturer). So, anyway, they hire Vijay Singh for their head honcho pro and he is to play with their clubs, of course. They introduce a new high-tech driver made out of Titanium-9 or something and they drag him out on the course to try it out. They have club speed analyzers and ultra-slow motion cameras and stress telemetry in the shaft ..yada, yada, yada.

Right off the start he makes fun of the big clubhead on the driver, "Couldn't you make it any bigger?" [:)]

Anyway he is getting used to the club and he is not hitting his drives as well as before and the team is all worried. They get to the 9th hole and he says, "I'm gonna take a break. You eggheads do what you need to."

They dive right in and have computer displays of the 2nd derivative of the clubhead angle function and atmospheric pressure and humdity data so they all get together and decide to add some depleted uranium foil to the club in a certain spot to change the mean axial density or some such thing. Et voila! The pro from Dover comes back out and is just crushing the ball.

My brother says, "Vijay, we added some axial mass, do you think that helped?"

"No man, I just took a big crap at the turnaround"

[BrucePowers]

Now that's funny right there[:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

So yesterday, I had to perform a task to incomaprably worse than an IRS audit...I had to go the DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles).

It seems I lost my wallet when I was dealing with some catastrophy that Mandrake Jr. caused. I drove down there on Thursaday as well but the line was literally out of the builidng so I turned around and went to work. I thought to myself, "I am not standing in line with the proletariat." I went on line and made an APPOINTMENT. Problem solved, eh? So Friday, I hustle down there and I literally sprint across the parking lot to make it on time and the line is out the door again. "SUCKERS!", I say to myself. I wander around inside for a few minutes unitl I discover the "APPOINTMENT" line is 3 people shorter than the "NO APPOINTMENT" line. [:@]

&*$($)%)#__#_@_@+@!+!

Defeated, I get in line and assume the head down posture, like we are all waiting for our execution. It is quite a slice of humanity. Remember that Apple commerical where the chick runs up with the sledge hammer and breaks the giant screen? That is what is was like..even the lighting. I am pretty sure I was the only one without a tatoo. I was literally the third tallest out of 300-400. A blind guy came in for a license renewal. I'm, not kidding. He had a cane and a guide person. They let him cut in line because of his disability.

I got my temporary license without any form of ID [8|] and paid my $25. They didn't make me take the eye test either.

[Cap Mandrake]

Looks like JJ are either reinforcing or drawing down forces in New Scotland. As their air presence has declined mightily, I favor the latter. There appear to be no bombers in the area so I am going to try to sneak in some surface forces.

[Cap Mandrake]

*************Sept 25**************


Oz: JJ has put Oscars in the air over Port Headland and the Tojos are much less numerous (probably they had to be rotated out due to fatigue or morale). B-17's from Geraldton and B-24's from Marakesh hit PH today effectively. Runway damage about 60%. The P-38's then showed up and shot down a bunch of Oscars. A raid on Broome was moderately effective. Runway damage there is said to be about 31%. JJ still has Bettys on the ground there. Carnavon (in NW Oz) is now up to a level 2 airfield. Some air support folks are flying in from Geraldton in case we need some B-25's there.

One B-24 was lost to operational causes. One B-24 squadron in Alice stood down for rest. So far, so good, although there are still 86 fighters at Wyndham. I am not confident we can shut down Wyndham before the transports get going.

Jap ships reported in the Sulu Sea. Could be anything. Might even be Ito's crew with their umbrerras.

[Cap Mandrake]

Stoat/Weasel/Aardvark troops appear to be largely embarked...about 56,000 for Broome and 27,000 for Port Headland.

9 BB
1 BC
5 CV
16 CL/CLAA

[sprior]

26/9/42

Damned motorised support units didnt load so seperate convoys now loading and will merge with assault convoys at sea.

JJ bombs Ledo, I'm guessing to try and disrupt the airbridge into China, he didn't bet on Hurris being there.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

26/9/42

Damned motorised support units didnt load so seperate convoys now loading and will merge with assault convoys at sea.

JJ bombs Ledo, I'm guessing to try and disrupt the airbridge into China, he didn't bet on Hurris being there.

It was a rough day for offensive air action all around. JJ had a nice ambush of B-25's over the Katherine and you staged a nice ambush of unescorted Sallys over Ledo.

We lost 29 fighters (including 7 P-38's) to their 26.

In Oz, they have moved some fighters and bombers to Darwin (probably because recon shifted to there). 3 Forts were lost on missions over Port Headland. PH is at 70% runway damage. I think that will inhibit basing of bombers there. Broome is at 40%. The B-24's at Marakesh will switch to Broome today.