A Silly AAR Sillyflower (R) v Carnage's nazis. C welcome

[sillyflower]

GC41 fixed weather official 1.05.45 + will update as per. No house rules tho' I will refrain from excess bombing of airfields.

STAVKA Analysis

German forces facing us will get off to a weak start with main thrust not expected to reveal itself for about 3 weeks. Given our clear superiority in numbers of modern machines of war (tanks and aircraft) together with plans for rapid moblisation of millions of men we do not expect the enemy to get far.

A man whose role model is a drunken coast watcher and lets his wife determine strategy holds no fears for us.

We await his soi-disant onslaught without trepidation

[CarnageINC]

HA! This propaganda coming from one whose avatar is a ...well...a silly flower! Don't believe this silly Russian, we all know the lies and misdirection they spew. My tank treads and marching boots will crush your 'evil empire' into the ground, into the ground I say!

[TulliusDetritus]

ORIGINAL: sillyflower

A man whose role model is a drunken coast watcher and lets his wife determine strategy holds no fears for us.

LOL

Carnage has this avatar since the WitP days. On that game you have coast watchers that warn you about the evil Japanese ships approaching. Especially in the slot (Solomons). But of course it's a boring task. A good scotch will make it...

Good luck to both [:)]

[sillyflower]

If games can be won by bombast and ordure of bulls, this one's going to be close all the way.

Still waiting for Carnage to send his turn. He's probably too embarassed by it [;)]

[CarnageINC]

Turn has been sent you godless heathen! I await your reply

[Baelfiin]

I think I am going to enjoy this AAR 8)

[sillyflower]

C's turn was well worth the wait. Just as Stavka predicted. Shown at start of Russian turn for OpSec reasons as C is welcome here.



Feld Marshall von CarnageINC ( the 'INC' is believed to mean 'in no condition') has clearly been spending his time 'coast watching' rather than concentrating on his job.

Clearly unready German forces only managed some weak thrusts though thet did surround 1 division ( black circle). One of many futile attacks on the impregnable fortress of Brest Litovsk is shown.

[sillyflower]

Despite fears of some generals when wargaming treachery on the part of the Nazis, about the damage a 'Lvov pocket' could do, Defence Minister Sillyflower's dismissal of such fears as counter-revolutionary weakness is wholly justified. There is clearly going to be a 'Lvov pocket' but not as predicted by the likes several well -known commentators who are currently being rounded up and interviewed.

[DTurtle]

Haha, this is brilliant. I hope you continue with these absolutely true, 100% accurate reports of the happenings on the front.

I am expecting your moves to reflect this state of affairs, and not reflect the deranged reports of more pessimistic reports coming from the front!

[sillyflower]

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!!

Krasnaya Zvezda releases exclusive interview between thier top correspondent Vasily Grossman and Defence Minister Sillyflower;

VG; How is the war going Comrade Sillyflower?
SF: As Comrade Stalin and I predicted. Defeatists like former Generals Peltonovitch, Heliodorlev and Kamilski have been shown to have completely overestimated the strength of the Fascist forces.

VG Can you tell us about the Lvov Pocket everyone is talking about?
SF Well, you appreciate i have to be careful as traitors probably give the Germans copies of your paper. Suffice to say, operations are ongoing and many tens of thousands of invading teutonic barbarians will soon only be seeing Holy Russia from deep in cold earth.

VG Is it true that Private Ivan Putkin of the 334th Infantry Regiment killed 3 Germans with his spoon? * {Editor's note -see end}
SF Not quite. He killed 5.

VF How did he do it?
SF. He had left his bunker to get fresh ammunition when he spotted a german patrol trying to infiltrate past the position. He was out of ammunition so his spoon was all he had. He attacked, as any other Komosol member would have done in his place. Fortunately, the Germans were all quite drunk and unable to resist effectively.

VF How do you rate the German commander FM von Carnage?
SF Well, comrade Grossman, he is of American stock (laughter). His parents were originally called Carnage and they took the title 'von' when they bought an estate from an impoverished Prussian landowner. It has long been rumoured that von C has been more interested in coast watching than doing his job.

VF What is coast watching?
SF Apparently it involves sitting on a beach getting drunk to the point where pieces of flostsam and sailing dingies get mistaken for invasion fleets. Intelligence sources have indicated that von C diverted at least 2 whole infantry armies and a Panzer Goup to the Koeningsberg area after he spotted a small fishing fleet off the coast.

VF Thank you for these valuable insights, Comrade minister. Do you have any last messages for our readers?
SF. Believe in Holy Russia. Believe in Comrade Stalin. Believe in Socialist Victory.

*************************************************************************

* Editor's note: this is not my invention! see 'A writer at War' by VG edited & translated by Antony Beevor

[sillyflower]

Just waiting for Carnage's T2. He says it's a brutal pre Xmas work week. I say it's because my AAR has made him cry. I fear he has Borgia's wife syndrome from a BBC TV series of about 35-40 years ago:

Mrs Cesare B 'why don't you talk me me any more?

Cesare ' because I cannot talk all the time in 1 syllable words. You do not understand 2 syllable words and 3 syllable words make you cry'.

Of course if Carnage thinks 'lvovpocket' is a 4 syllable word. he's probably in therapy now

[sillyflower]

Latest Reports from STAVKA

As anticipated by the combined strategic genius of stalin and Sillflower, Nazi offensive moves in the north have decreased. As identified by Soviet intelligence assets, von Carnage has moved signficant forces back towards Koenigsberg to forstall any invasion by Danish fishermen looking for herring.

The gallant defenders of Brest Litovsk, no doubt inspired by Private Putkin, continue to hold out against massed assaults be ever more desperate fascist swine.

[sillyflower]

In the South, Nazi attempts to free the Lvov pocket appear doomed to abject failure. The bombed and shelled panzer troops are looking pretty sorry for themselves now! The end is expected to be quick as masssive Soviet reserves have moved into the area.

2 divisions of SS mobile troops have been spotted on the border. These murderous, drug-crazed filth will their utmost to damage our country and will not be overcome easily.

As yet, no signs of activity on the Rumanian front. This must have come as an unpleasant suprise to von Carnage. He had apparently been heard claiming that the Lvov pocket would result in Rumania joining the Axis attack on 25 July. The Red Army remains vigilent against this threat.

[sillyflower]

von Carnage receives news of Lvov pocket

[sillyflower]

looking for survivors from the Lvov pocket

[sillyflower]

Report from STAVKA

Hitlerite forces in the Lvov pocket wiped out as the Red Army storms the enemy defences in the region. Elsewhere we stand our ground.

From an article dated 30 June 1941 in Krasnaya Zveda by Vasily Grossman 'In the Enemy's Bunker':

German trenches, strongpoints, officers' and soldiers' bunkers. The enemy has been here. There are French wines and brandy; Greek olives; carelessly squeezed lemons from their 'ally', slavishly obedient Italy; a jar of jam with a Polish label; a big oval tin of fish preserve - Norway's tribute; a bucket of honey from Czechoslovakia. And fragments of a soviet shell are lying amid this fascist feast.

Soldiers' bunkers are a different sight: here one won't see empty chocolate boxes and unfinished sardines. There are only tins of pressed peas and chunks of bread as heavy as cast iron. Weighing in their palms these loaves so similar to asphalt in both colour and density, Red Army soldiers grin and say: ' Well brother, that's real bread'

[sillyflower]

Comrades

Given that von Carnage has challenged the accuracy of this AAR in his typical Hitlerite and misleading way, Defence Minister Sillyflower has taken the important step of publishing the statistics of this battle as verified by international observers

[sillyflower]

A picture of the gallant and thoughful Grossman

[TulliusDetritus]

ORIGINAL: sillyflower

A picture of the gallant and thoughful Grossman

I read Grossman's Life and Fate one year ago (from my sister's huge bibliotheque). It's the WW2 "War and Peace" if I well understood. I liked it but humm, I expected more [:)]

[carlkay58]

So does your opponent realize that you have The One Ring on your task bar? No wonder he is having problems!