I just have a feeling that life like graphics in the end wont add to the wargaming experience, I think it's all about gameplay and detail with less and less abstraction.Aslong as I'm getting feedback from my troops about the situation in some form and in as much detail as I want then thats enough as I said my imagination can then do the rest without the need for someone else's imagination showing it to me graphically. For an FPS game though it is great I suppose but not really for a wargame, again because to me it would end up feeling like I was directing a film rather than playing a game. The game you describe sounds more like a hyper realistic FPS than a tactical wargame, which granted would work and sounds great, I 'd buy it in an instant. Though most Commanders above coy level where behind the lines looking at maps etc.
I have read what you don't like in CMBN and what you want graphically and put them together we either have as said a very realistic FPS (actually the closest i can think of that resembles what you want is ARMA 2 when you get to control squads and above, which I hated as it felt to unwieldy, maybe needs to be better implemented or voice commands would solve the issues I had with it)or as I've said a few times (I'm repeating myself here i think alittle to often
As for older men playing games I expect they did, things like cards and chess I reckon have been played alot by the older generation for many years especially once fitness levels drop so you can't partake in sports and the like and toy soldiers have been around for along time, was it HG Wells that wrote some rules along time ago?
I apologise for the amount of times I repeated myself in this post. Sometimes I get carried away in my replies.

