Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Colonel Mustard
I'm the tax auditor. Someone wanting to comply with the "market value" rules would have Chickenboy purchase, for an outrageous price, a few representative items (don't tell us what he does with them).

Alright, I'll play along. For a lump sum (ewww....) / 'finder's fee' of $500, I'll put together a bid for your used underwear in the amount of $250 for you. I'll even sign it and everything.

God, I love capitalism.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Colonel Mustard

By the way, you don't need a dryer to do laundry. Hang a clothesline outide. Tell the HOA its a 911-compliant emergency signalling system.

I'm sure this would be eco-friendly and all but there is no chance this side of Hades that the HOA would let me get away with a clothesline. It's actually IN the CC&R's. one time they made me take down a hammock because I tied it to a native oak tree (in my own ******* back yard).

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Colonel Mustard

Skid marks won't make a difference. Look what Bill Clinton was able to sell, and he was full of more **** than your panties.

Well, THE Blue Dress became valuable because of signs of ... um ... er ... usage, so why not Bill's undershorts?

[dcpollay]

Alright, I'll play along. For a lump sum (ewww....) / 'finder's fee' of $500, I'll put together a bid for your used underwear in the amount of $250 for you. I'll even sign it and everything.

God, I love capitalism.

Just so we're clear....Are you signing the underwear or the lump?

[CaptDave]

The "Enrolled Agent buddy" (me) thinks you'd probably increase your taxes because you'd have to pay somebody to actually take them (thus a negative deduction)!

[Cap Mandrake]

***1031 EXCHANGE, TAYTAY GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB***


To exchange, one lot (22,000 sq ft) with utilities, 9th hole, Taytay South (planned golf community). Lovely view of clubhouse and water hazard. Includes 2 years mosquito spraying and large underwear collection.*

Will exchange for bearer bonds or Phillipino gold. Estimated value $250K (US)





* UXB disclosure

[sprior]

Luckily this doesn't happen among wargamers...

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Luckily this doesn't happen among wargamers...

oh, oh...can I be the guy with the beard and stringy hair?

[Cap Mandrake]

**************March 6, 1943(c)*************

Taytay: JJ are seriosuly determiend to reinforce Taytay. First, the retreating Birmingham group with virtually no ammo runs across a damaged (I suspect) Kuma. There is no moon so the Allied taffy spots the LYB by radar first. Here is my question, if you aren't going to fight, why not alter course when you spot the eneny with radar? Just asking.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Puerto Princesa at 75,84, Range 5,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CL Kuma

Allied Ships
CL Birmingham
CLAA Juneau
CL Trenton
DD Frazier
DD Helm
DD Talbot

There is a window of time for JJ to get troops ashore after departure of Birmingham...but then the sun comes up. South Dakota has been detached from North Carolina, the original group remaining at Jolo for security and to preserve a major combatant with ammo for the next night.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Taytay at 75,82, Range 23,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Tatsumiya Maru, Shell hits 12, and is sunk
xAK Taigen Maru, Shell hits 25, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK Boston Maru, Shell hits 29, and is sunk
xAK Chowa Maru, Shell hits 7, and is sunk
xAK Juko Maru, Shell hits 8, Torpedo hits 1, and is sunk
xAK Kashu Maru, Shell hits 11, and is sunk
xAK Koyo Maru, Shell hits 5, and is sunk
xAK Yuzan Maru, Shell hits 6, and is sunk

Allied Ships
BB South Dakota, Shell hits 1
DD McCalla, Shell hits 1
DD Bailey
DD Hobby, Shell hits 1, on fire

Japanese ground losses:
276 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 36 destroyed, 21 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 44 (33 destroyed, 11 disabled)

Unloading interruptis.

[Cap Mandrake]

3rd/102nd and 2nd/102nd(-) are ordered to land at Taytay. They aren't prepped but neither is anything else. 2ndBn/102nd had previously been reported to be completely destroyed in that night ambush at Jolo but they are apparently "not dead yet". This lot, with the HQ coy, were on another taffy.

I was going to finish landing 8th Marine at Taytay but some staff idiot forgot to hit the "cancel unloading " button so they unloaded at Cotabato. [:@]

I had also considered dropping 503rd PIR (mostly reassembled at Cotabato now) on Taytay. Probably a good thing we didn't because we now discover 4th Yokuska SNLF was likely got ashore yesterday and perhaps part of 11th Garrison today. If this seems somewhat chaotic it is just your imagination. 1 1/2 Bn of 102nd, plus a coy of 8th Marine (all 50% disrupted) plus 503rd PIR might be able to take the place.

Ground combat at Taytay (75,82)

Japanese Bombardment attack

Attacking force 3012 troops, 31 guns, 2 vehicles, Assault Value = 145

Defending force 763 troops, 11 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 36



Assaulting units:
Yokosuka 4th SNLF
11th Garrison Unit /1
72nd JAAF AF Bn

Defending units:
3rd/102nd Infantry Bn /1
2nd/102nd Infantry Bn /1
8th Marine Rgt /1

2nd and 3rd Bn of 102nd are getting their hair mussed up pretty good landing at Taytay. We need some bigger guns to suppress the LYB guns ashore. I think there is just a DD as TF flagship. Maybe North Carolina can bombard tonight (or South Dakota if she has enough main gun ammo). We need to wreck the airfield and get the fighters out of there if we are to use C-47's

Pre-Invasion action off Taytay (75,82)

62 Coastal gun shots fired in defense.

Allied Ships
xAK T. A. Johnson
xAP Poelau Laut
xAP Tabinta
AK Oberon
DD Conyngham


Allied ground losses:
40 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled


xAK T. A. Johnson firing at 11th Garrison Unit
xAK T. A. Johnson fired at enemy troops
xAP Poelau Laut fired at enemy troops
xAP Tabinta fired at enemy troops
Defensive Guns fire at approaching troops in landing craft at 5,000 yards
Defensive Guns fire at approaching troops in landing craft at 1,000 yards


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Amphibious Assault at Taytay (75,82)

TF 369 troops unloading over beach at Taytay, 75,82


Allied ground losses:
95 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 23 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 18 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 3 (0 destroyed, 3 disabled)

[Cap Mandrake]

Palau area: JJ is reinforcing Peleliu and Beazelbob. Atoll landing? Nein, danke. The B-25's at Sorong are getting better. Maybe we should try a dambusters type attack. What are the experience requirements in AE?

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Peleliu at 90,98

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 26 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 7 minutes


Allied aircraft
B-25C Mitchell x 4


No Allied losses

Japanese Ships
xAK Kiyo Maru, Bomb hits 1, on fire

[Cap Mandrake]

Fenton (South of Darwin): 6-8K walking dead are wandering around in the outback drooling and shuffling. It was fun at the start but now it's getting old. We could bomb from a lower altitude as they have no AAA, but nobody wants to get zombie splatter on their nose art.

Morning Air attack on 21st Ind.Mixed Brigade, at 76,126 (Fenton)

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid detected at 40 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 13 minutes


Allied aircraft
Martlet II x 8
Beaufort V x 16
Beaufort VIII x 15
B-24D Liberator x 55
B-25C Mitchell x 4


Allied aircraft losses
B-25C Mitchell: 1 damaged

Japanese ground losses:
913 casualties reported
Squads: 2 destroyed, 24 disabled
Non Combat: 21 destroyed, 106 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Guns lost 12 (3 destroyed, 9 disabled)
Vehicles lost 4 (1 destroyed, 3 disabled)

[Cap Mandrake]

Admiral Lord Sprior;

That commission you are on regarding airline guidelines. Here is an example of the proper restraint of an unruly passenger who drinks too much of his duty free liquor

[Cap Mandrake]

..the squid extends his/her tentacles

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Admiral Lord Sprior;

That commission you are on regarding airline guidelines. Here is an example of the proper restraint of an unruly passenger who drinks too much of his duty free liquor

If they leave him there for long the seat won't be duty free.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Admiral Lord Sprior;

That commission you are on regarding airline guidelines. Here is an example of the proper restraint of an unruly passenger who drinks too much of his duty free liquor

If they leave him there for long the seat won't be duty free.

No, I think they taped that hole up too. [:D] The funny thing it was the other passengers that taped him up. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

I just worked out why nobody has made an offer on the lot on the 9th hole of Taytay South. You SOB's are waiting to see if the attack fails, aren't you?

Well, that strategy is NOT going to work. I see the combat result first and if it succeeds, I will just bump the price. Pluse, we have a contingency if it fails and we leave Tayatay in LYB hands. The CC&R's state that ethnic Japanese may not have more than 50% of the prime morning start times.

And don't anyone try to get insider information from LASP either. We dont want him getting sent to jail like Martha Stewart.

[Cap Mandrake]

Daughter got me "The Generals" (Thomas Ricks) to listen to in the car on the way to work. His basic thesis is the US Army moved away from battlefield relief of generals and everything went to shit for a while.

According to him...the good guys:

Pershing
Marshall (There is even a adjective "marshallian" which, as far as I can tell means "yo' shit don't stink")
Eisenhower
Patton (with flaws)
Ridgeway
O P Smith (Marine commander at Chosin)


The bad guys:

Montgomery
Taylor (in later years)
MacArthur (the whole time)...and his wife, somewhat effeminate son, family dog, the Fillipino maid.......
Westmorland
Sanchez
Pretty much everyone associated with 90th ID at the start of Normandy campaign


I'm not done yet. Haven't got to GWI, Iraq, Afghanistan, Panama or Grenada. Poor Sanchez got mentioned alreay and the Vietnam War just ended. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

I wonder how many times Fleet Admiral Mandrake would have been relieved...by Marshall or King or God knows who.

There was that time a US carrier (Enterprise maybe?) got caught off of Sydney by a surpise raid by the KB in the second week of the war...D'oh!

Then the time an entire Bn got lost at sea trying to sneak into Tanna during the battle of New Scotland.

There is the battle of New Scotland itself, but at least we killed a bunch of LYB's


...ah...good times, good times.

[witpqs]

It's "General Marshall", Captain Mandrake.