Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

*****************Aboard USS Saury, 45 NM West of Lubang-Lubang, 02:35, March 22, 1943(c)****************


Lt. Cmdr. Jeremiah Lawrence Burnside, USN: <His arms drape over the periscope handles. Massive, even ridculous, mutton chop sideburns billow out from the light guards on the scope. These are against regulation of course but he has been given a special medical exemption for his highly unusual, familial, hairy birthmarks which produce whiskers at a prodigious rate. At sea he is allowed to skip shaving them so he doesn't clog up the plumbing or even leave a trail of whiskers on the ocean surface that might lead the enemy to his boat. Of course, everyone knows about his great great grandfather who got his ass kicked. This, and the constant taunts of "Monkey-boy" during childhood left him with an incendiary desire to blow things up>

SANTA MARIA! IT'S *#&$*$(#) HARUNA ON THIS MARK....MARK! WE ARE SPOTTED! THREE DESTROYERS CLOSING ON US! DOWN PERISCOPE! COME LEFT TO COURSE 270! MAKE OUR DEPTH 60 FATHOMS! ALL AHEAD 2/3RD. PREPARE THE STERN TUBES................


ASW attack near Lubang at 77,78

Japanese Ships
DD Yayoi
DD Kisaragi
DD Katsutade

Allied Ships
SS Saury, hits 1



SS Saury is sighted by escort
DD Katsutade attacking submerged sub ....
DD Katsutade fails to find sub, continues to search...
DD Katsutade fails to find sub, continues to search...
DD Katsutade fails to find sub, continues to search...
DD Katsutade fails to find sub, continues to search...
Escort abandons search for sub



Sub attack near Lubang at 77,78

Japanese Ships
BB Haruna, Torpedo hits 2
DD Yayoi
DD Kisaragi
DD Katsutade

Allied Ships
SS Saury

[sprior]

didn't unplug the power supply

Gen dit:

IT Manager: This server keeps crashing every night between 6 and 6.30 pm. Find out what's going on.

After exhaustive diagmostics I decide the easiest thing to do is sit and watch it

6.15pm.

Cleaner: Don't mind me love, just going to plug in the hoover. <click!>
Me: Er....

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

didn't unplug the power supply

Gen dit:

IT Manager: This server keeps crashing every night between 6 and 6.30 pm. Find out what's going on.

After exhaustive diagmostics I decide the easiest thing to do is sit and watch it

6.15pm.

Cleaner: Don't mind me love, just going to plug in the hoover. <click!>
Me: Er....

Did that really happen? [:D]

[sprior]

Yes!

[Cap Mandrake]

*$&$(*%% Haruna was doubtless inbound for San Jose which might have spelled trouble for San Juan and Trenton and the two DD's there. Instead, she has two big dents but appears not even to be smoking. Still, it takes a lot of Bondo to fix battleship dents. She will be gone a while.

Good night for USN subs.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Yes!

Are you out on parole after the homicide or do they let you take the laptop to the recreation yard.?

[sprior]

Looks like you have an email that didn't make it to my inbox. Could you forward please?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Looks like you have an email that didn't make it to my inbox. Could you forward please?

No, I'm making all this up. [:)]

[sprior]

Brisbane 1943 (honest):

[Cap Mandrake]

Check your inbox after 08:55 GMT+8

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Brisbane 1943 (honest):

[font="Courier New"]M&M Enterprises Presents Brisbane's First Annual Monster Truck and Tank Rally[/font]

[sprior]

No, I'm making all this up.

Ssshhh! The normals think we're winning.

[Cap Mandrake]

Taytay: Fifth Air Force at Sidate got some fresh 500 lb bombs so we decide to tamp down the restive LYB's on Palawan lest they attack and do harm to our lads there.

Morning Air attack on 11th Garrison Unit , at 75,82 (Taytay)

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid spotted at 19 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 8



Allied aircraft
B-24D Liberator x 29
B-24D1 Liberator x 8
F4F-4 Wildcat x 1


No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
B-24D Liberator: 5 damaged

Japanese ground losses:
63 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Naturally, the hot-shot turbo-charged P-38's from Jolo get there AFTER the B-24's, even though the P-38's only had 300 miles to go and the B-24's 700 AND the P-38's are faster............

Morning Air attack on Taytay , at 75,82

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid spotted at 19 NM, estimated altitude 33,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 3 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 5



Allied aircraft
P-38G Lightning x 3
F4U-1 Corsair x 1


Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 4 destroyed

No Allied losses



Aircraft Attacking:
1 x P-38G Lightning sweeping at 30000 feet

[Cap Mandrake]

San Jose: A carrier raid on San Jose.

Morning Air attack on TF, near San Jose at 78,84

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid detected at 67 NM, estimated altitude 10,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 28 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M3a Zero x 8
B5N2 Kate x 22



Allied aircraft
Spitfire Vc Trop x 5
P-39D Airacobra x 20
F4F-4 Wildcat x 6
F4U-1 Corsair x 7


Japanese aircraft losses
A6M3a Zero: 2 destroyed
B5N2 Kate: 8 destroyed, 3 damaged

Allied aircraft losses
P-39D Airacobra: 1 destroyed

Allied Ships
CLAA Juneau
DD Cummings
CL Trenton


And then an unescorted raid in the afternoon. Things seem to be going well (for us)

.Afternoon Air attack on TF, near San Jose at 78,84

Weather in hex: Thunderstorms

Raid detected at 59 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 24 minutes

Japanese aircraft
B5N2 Kate x 12



Allied aircraft
Spitfire Vc Trop x 5
P-39D Airacobra x 16
F4F-4 Wildcat x 5
F4U-1 Corsair x 7


Japanese aircraft losses
B5N2 Kate: 4 destroyed

No Allied losses

[Cap Mandrake]

Here's old "Monkey-face". Somewhat inept at dinner conversation and speech-making but he gets the job done.

[Cap Mandrake]

We had another shot at some of the carrier escorts..but missed

ASW attack near Iba at 77,74

Japanese Ships
DD Akizuki
DD Arare

Allied Ships
SS Blackfish

[Cap Mandrake]

Davao: I thought today would do it...but no..even so we do inflict superior casualties.


Ground combat at Davao (79,91)

Allied Deliberate attack

Attacking force 11696 troops, 333 guns, 318 vehicles, Assault Value = 240

Defending force 4806 troops, 61 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 41

Allied adjusted assault: 64

Japanese adjusted defense: 85

Allied assault odds: 1 to 2 (fort level 1)

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
316 casualties reported
Squads: 12 destroyed, 6 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 8 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Guns lost 4 (2 destroyed, 2 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
205 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 13 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled


Assaulting units:
22nd Marine Regiment
132nd Infantry Regiment
161st Infantry Regiment
205th Field Artillery Battalion
25th USN Naval Construction Battalion
225th Field Artillery Battalion
2nd USMC Field Artillery Battalion
134th Field Artillery Battalion
21/22 Field Regiment

Defending units:
15th Garrison Unit
Sasebo 8th SNLF /1
40th JNAF AF Unit
1st Engineer Co
39th JNAF AF Unit
108th JAAF AF Bn

[Cap Mandrake]

Manado: We find 15K suppries and 4000 fuel at Manado. Pretty nice. No wonder they weren't giving up. They are failing fast now. Airfield service damage at 75% and and port damage at 60%.


Ground combat at Manado (75,99)

Allied Deliberate attack

Attacking force 10928 troops, 243 guns, 385 vehicles, Assault Value = 307

Defending force 4669 troops, 47 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 51

Allied adjusted assault: 261

Japanese adjusted defense: 25

Allied assault odds: 10 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker:

Japanese ground losses:
822 casualties reported
Squads: 25 destroyed, 13 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 8 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 14 (6 destroyed, 8 disabled)


Allied ground losses:
104 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 8 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 7 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

[sanch]

ORIGINAL: sprior

didn't unplug the power supply

Gen dit:

IT Manager: This server keeps crashing every night between 6 and 6.30 pm. Find out what's going on.

After exhaustive diagmostics I decide the easiest thing to do is sit and watch it

6.15pm.

Cleaner: Don't mind me love, just going to plug in the hoover. <click!>
Me: Er....

Years ago, back when mainframes were multiple boxes the size of refrigerators, a server was crashing almost every night in the wee hours.

After extensive diagnosis, found the crashes due to zillions of interrupts on one particular signal overwhelming the server.

Got hardware guys involved - that particular signal comes from a particular cable, so they go to inspect the cable.

They find at one point it wrapped around a 220V HVAC cable going to the rooftop A/C units.

And SOP was for the third shift operators to run the A/C to recycle air in the computer rooms.

So I went and watched. They turned the A/C on, and within a second, server was down.

Move cables, problem solved.

[Cap Mandrake]

I have this recurring nightmare that we spend $3,000,000,000,000 on a fully-integrated-multi-tiered ballistic missile defense system which works flawlessly in tests but when there really is a PRK nuke inbound to Los Angeles, everyone runs to the window to see the interceptor launches and some chowderhead spills his diet coke on the only non-redundant piece of hardware...then the tech guys spend their last minutes on Earth frantically looking for the DOS 3.0 installation floppy discs.