Wrongway Corrigan X-files

[Cap Mandrake]

Sure, everybody loves a winner. But what about the gloriously inept? When do they get their chance to shine?

This is the story of the Captain of the USS Flying Fish, which has completed 2 combat missions in a Sce 17 PBEM game. The Flying Fish hasn't really been unlucky...she is still in service...but her two missions have without debate, been "gloriously inpet".

On her first mission she was directed to Nevea, where a transport TF had been intercepted and severely mauled by a US Surface TF. She emptied her bow and stern tubes at several grieviously wounded Japanese AP's which had been stripped of their escorts. She scored NO hits.

On her second mission she was directed to Irau to attack wounded Jap transports which had been hit by air attack. Again she discharged her torpedoes to no effect! Perhaps out of frustration, her Captain ordered her to surface in daylight and engage a wounded Jap AP with her deck gun. Well, that didn't go very well either. She limped back to Noumea and has now been patched up for her 3rd combat cruise.

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Curiosuly undeterred by the dismal performance of the Flying Fish and her Captain, the SOPAC Submarine force CO, Vice Admiral Howard Simpson, shows his confidence in the boat's Captain by personally seeing him off from slip 3-A at Noumea. As he watches the Flying Fish prepare to leave, Admiral Simpson is filled with pride in his younger charge. What the young officer lacks in intelligence, leadership and experience, he seems to overcome with enthusiasm and bravado. Still...an uncomfortable notion insinutates itself into the Admiral's thoughts. "What if the Captain lacks the level of understanding to even perceive the danger? That would explain the bravado wouldn't it?...Hmmm"

His reverie is interrupted by the Captain's shouted order; "Cast off the bow line! All engines back 1/3!...Sir, don't forget to send off those Tiki Dolls I got for mom."

"You can count of that Homer!", the Admiral shouted back. "Good Luck and God Speed!"


"God Speed Sir?", Captain Simpson shouted back.

"Yes..God Speed to you and your crew", the Admiral replied.

"Well..how fast is THAT sir?, Captain Simpson inquired.

"How fast is what?", the Admiral replied, his confidence ebbing.

"How fast is God Speed sir...how many nauts I mean", said Captain Simpson earnestly.

A wave of understanding swept over the Admiral. He blanched a bit and said to himself; "Jesus, Lord God in Heaven". He steadied himself and then replied to the now receding Capt. Simpson; "No, no it's not an order...it just means Good Luck...it's a way of saying Good Luck"


The always exuberant Capt. Homer Simpson replied; "Oh, Ok ...thanks sir. Well it's God Speed for our side then sir. Wish us luck"


"Didn't I just do that", the Admiral thought to himself, aware of the half-concealed snickering among the other men on the dock. In the end he chose the safest approach and simply waved his hat in a grand gesture sure to be seen on the boat.


Capt. Simpson reciprocated, then turned abruptly and plowed his forehead into the barrel of the 40 mm Bofors gun, knocking himself to the deck. And so began the third cruise of the USS Flying Fish.




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Please feel free to chime in tales of your won Wrongway Corrigans

[Luskan]

I've got two - one was a hopeless Gato class sub that launched a record 66 torpedoes at the enemy for 0 hits, before being sunk on her nth combat cruise by enemy aircraft.

On the other side, in my game against Adm. Arctic the USS Sangamon arrived in Noumea one night early in the war - to cop a bomb from a bettie on port raid immediately. She got send off to pearl, and returned - this time the ship arrived just in time to take part in a failed invasion of wherever in the SOlomons (could have been Tulagi, Russell Island, Irau - all have been disaster stories. Anyway, she copped a shell when some IJN cruisers caught her in an extremely unlikely mid ocean intercept, and straight back to Pearl.

She has just arrived back in theatre for her third shot at a combat cruise - and she's just arrived a turn too late to take part in the massive CV battle (thank god for Corsairs because I was outnumbered big time!) that just occured. If she survives unscathed I'll pinch myself. Probably run into a mine or something.