Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

******April 30 (I thought we did this already..I guess we have to wait for the poetry reading)********

Batan Is.: We saw the inbound surface group and sent the transports packing as the SCTF security detail had to go back for ammo. USS San Juan is on her way in but not here yet. The duty falls to USS Abbot by herself. Go to your corners and come out fighting. Is it just me or was Yudachi the name of a feminine hygiene product?


Night Time Surface Combat, near Batan Island at 85,70, Range 7,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Yudachi
DD Kisaragi

Allied Ships
DD Abbot, Shell hits 1

No disaster. The sun comes up an Tojo crones fry in from Takao.

The Corsairs and P-38's have been moved to cover the carriers. We lose.


Morning Air attack on Batan Island , at 85,70

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid detected at 37 NM, estimated altitude 30,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-44-IIa Tojo x 31

Allied aircraft
Spitfire Vc Trop x 14
P-40K Warhawk x 24

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-44-IIa Tojo: 1 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
Spitfire Vc Trop: 1 destroyed
P-40K Warhawk: 3 destroyed

Stragglers. They lose.

Morning Air attack on Batan Island , at 85,70

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid detected at 76 NM, estimated altitude 29,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 20 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-44-IIa Tojo x 3

Allied aircraft
Spitfire Vc Trop x 8
P-40K Warhawk x 15

Japanese aircraft losses
Ki-44-IIa Tojo: 1 destroyed

No Allied losses

Arried High command has crevery moved TBF's to Vigan to cover Batan Is. in case IJN ships are slow to clear...AND...we chopped the range down so this wouldn't happen. The fighters at Vigan are trying to cover the carriers approaching Aparri. This is what you call in Chess the "overworked piece". Evidentry, the range wasn't short enough.


Morning Air attack on TF, near Takao at 82,66

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid detected at 33 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 15 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 7
A6M3a Zero x 1
Ki-43-IIb Oscar x 1
Ki-45 KAIa Nick x 1
Ki-61-Ia Tony x 4

Allied aircraft
TBF-1 Avenger x 13

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
TBF-1 Avenger: 7 destroyed
TBF-1 Avenger: 1 destroyed by flak

Japanese Ships
DD Murasame

Then, an inbound raid, probably from Takao, goes after the San Juan taffy. Damn. Not enough fighters to go around. Takao is a real pain in the arse.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Batan Island at 85,70

Weather in hex: Light rain

Raid detected at 37 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 13 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 21
D3A2 Val x 10

Allied aircraft
Spitfire Vc Trop x 4
P-40K Warhawk x 12

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 10 destroyed

No Allied losses

Allied Ships
DD Arunta, Bomb hits 1, on fire
CLAA Juneau

More tender young lamb shanks

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Takao at 82,66

Weather in hex: Clear sky

Raid detected at 26 NM, estimated altitude 8,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 12 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 4

Allied aircraft
TBF-1 Avenger x 3

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
TBF-1 Avenger: 2 destroyed

[Cap Mandrake]

Here is the good news.

The transports aggregated at Batan Is. avoided loss.

The carriers and the huge 2nd Br Div convoy took no losses (although they were approached by unterseebooten).

Important traffic moving to and from Iba/Vigan was safe

The bad news.

Lingayen had a snow storm, a hail storm, pea fog, a super-cell AND a sharknado so our bombers were all grounded again.

[Cap Mandrake]

China: Hop Sing published a great recipe for blueberry flapjacks with crumbled up Special K thrown in at the last second for mouth feel. JJ, evidentry angered over our night bombardment of Rangoon, is paying us back. This one hurt.

Night Air attack on Chungking , at 76,45

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 49 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 15 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 7

Allied aircraft
no flights

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
F4U-1 Corsair: 7 damaged
F4U-1 Corsair: 1 destroyed on ground

Runway hits 4

[Cap Mandrake]

Bay of Bengal: Our suppry convoy for the lads at Port Blair got one day closer without getting sunk. <makes Dominican baseball player good luck sign>

[Cap Mandrake]

So this new patient, a 10 year old, comes in yesterday after transferring from the bad guys (Kaiser). The a** h**** denied him care halfway through the management of his thumb fracture because his insurance changed. That is abandonment of care and seems to be at odds with all their flashy Madison Avenue TV commercials. Anyway, this 10 year old has done everything he wasn't supposed to do. He got the cast wet. He pulled out all the packing from around his thumb so he could "wiggle it". The thing stinks like 3 day old road kill. It has to come off. My staff, who used to work for me, is "too busy" so I have to cut it off. I take him over to the cast room and start in. It has enough fiberglass for a Boston Whaler hull and the inside of the cast....Santa Maria! It was like slicing open a beached whale.

The good news is everyone is in a great mood, the 10 year old, his brother, the mom. They are like a traveling comedy troupe in the style of Don Rickles. Anyway, I get the damn thing off and we throw it in the trash can and seal up the room for the day and I send him to X-ray.

When he gets back, because he has been moving his damn thumb for 3 weeks, it doesn't look as good as it should. I give him 2 options. Another cast or 10 d of no sports or swimming. Now he turns into the Jack Nicholson character from The Shining, instantly.

His mom tries to comfort him.

Mom: Sweetheart, now that your cast doesn't stink you can come in my room and sleep with me.

Jack Nicholson: That's your boyfriend's job, not mine!

[X(][X(][X(][X(]

Evidently, there are some social issues not uncovered in the intake questions.

[jeffk3510]

The only Royals that are worth mentioning are the ones that have won 3 of their last 4 [&o], which will unfortunatley let Ned Yost keep his job...[:(]

[jeffk3510]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So this new patient, a 10 year old, comes in yesterday after transferring from the bad guys (Kaiser). The a** h**** denied him care halfway through the management of his thumb fracture because his insurance changed. That is abandonment of care and seems to be at odds with all their flashy Madison Avenue TV commercials. Anyway, this 10 year old has done everything he wasn't supposed to do. He got the cast wet. He pulled out all the packing from around his thumb so he could "wiggle it". The thing stinks like 3 day old road kill. It has to come off. My staff, who used to work for me, is "too busy" so I have to cut it off. I take him over to the cast room and start in. It has enough fiberglass for a Boston Whaler hull and the inside of the cast....Santa Maria! It was like slicing open a beached whale.

The good news is everyone is in a great mood, the 10 year old, his brother, the mom. They are like a traveling comedy troupe in the style of Don Rickles. Anyway, I get the damn thing off and we throw it in the trash can and seal up the room for the day and I send him to X-ray.

When he gets back, because he has been moving his damn thumb for 3 weeks, it doesn't look as good as it should. I give him 2 options. Another cast or 10 d of no sports or swimming. Now he turns into the Jack Nicholson character from The Shining, instantly.

His mom tries to comfort him.

Mom: Sweetheart, now that your cast doesn't stink you can come in my room and sleep with me.

Jack Nicholson: That's your boyfriend's job, not mine!

[X(][X(][X(][X(]

Evidently, there are some social issues not uncovered in the intake questions.

[:D][:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

Who talks to your mother like that?

Even if she is a moaner or screamer or something it's still not justified. Aj caramba! Sounds like its time for a babysitter and a hotel room.


By ra way, is there anything lying about in the Pacific in April 43 that would make a passable ersatz night fighter?

[Disco Duck]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

China: Hop Sing published a great recipe for blueberry flapjacks with crumbled up Special K thrown in at the last second for mouth feel. JJ, evidentry angered over our night bombardment of Rangoon, is paying us back. This one hurt.

Night Air attack on Chungking , at 76,45

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 49 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 15 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 7

Allied aircraft
no flights

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
F4U-1 Corsair: 7 damaged
F4U-1 Corsair: 1 destroyed on ground

Runway hits 4

This is why the Japanese are so angered over the Pancake recipe.

http://www.military-history.org/article ... jemima.htm[8|]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Disco Duck

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

China: Hop Sing published a great recipe for blueberry flapjacks with crumbled up Special K thrown in at the last second for mouth feel. JJ, evidentry angered over our night bombardment of Rangoon, is paying us back. This one hurt.

Night Air attack on Chungking , at 76,45

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid spotted at 49 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 15 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-49-IIa Helen x 7

Allied aircraft
no flights

No Japanese losses

Allied aircraft losses
F4U-1 Corsair: 7 damaged
F4U-1 Corsair: 1 destroyed on ground

Runway hits 4

This is why the Japanese are so angered over the Pancake recipe.

http://www.military-history.org/article ... jemima.htm[8|]

Santa Maria! That-ah one Herr of story!



My sister-in-law used to make something she called "drop-biscuits" which might have been uses as anti-tank projectiles.

[BBfanboy]

Just when you thought it was safe to go on a blind date .... explosive muffins!

[Cap Mandrake]

***********04:45, May 1, 1943(c),Vigan, Luzon***********


Man in fine linen slacks: General, I think you will find we have your solution to the night fighter problem. <gives signal for canvas to be removed from plane nearby>

Gen, Kenney, CO, Fifth Air Force: Son, that looks like a P-43 to me. We have already relegated that plane to rear areas.

Man in fine linen slacks: Not this plane you haven't, General. With your permission, sir. <he makes a large circular motion in the air with his arm and the engine begins to crank. The engine catches and begins to roar powerfully. When the revolutions climb he gives a thumbs up signal. The entire runway becomes bathed in artificial daylight as 4.6 million candlepower leap into action from the leading edge of the wings>

Gen, Kenney, CO, Fifth Air Force: Sweet Baby Jesus!

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

Just when you thought it was safe to go on a blind date .... explosive muffins!

Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that "muffins" can mean some female body part too? Is there any word in the Engrish ranguage that doesn't have some sexual meaning? That would be an interesting exercise.

[witpqs]

Well it is interesting exercise, but that's beside the point.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
That would be an interesting exercise.

Like Kegels?

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

Just when you thought it was safe to go on a blind date .... explosive muffins!

Wait a minute. Do you mean to tell me that "muffins" can mean some female body part too? Is there any word in the Engrish ranguage that doesn't have some sexual meaning? That would be an interesting exercise.

Of course not! It is de-riguere [sp?] these days to have your first date at a neutral place and not go overboard with trying to impress. Therefore, the coffee shop is the first stop on the date, and it is those muffins to which I refer. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

[Chickenboy]

Cap'n-I hope you appreciate the single-mindedness of my Argletonian pervert colleague and myself. We had similar thoughts and posted within a minute of each other. Truth be told, I was delayed because I had to look up the spelling. So, I hope you appreciate the refined and proper perversion that we bring to this thread.

Oh, there's a war on, idnit? Well?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

Cap'n-I hope you appreciate the single-mindedness of my Argletonian pervert colleague and myself. We had similar thoughts and posted within a minute of each other. Truth be told, I was delayed because I had to look up the spelling. So, I hope you appreciate the refined and proper perversion that we bring to this thread.

Oh, there's a war on, idnit? Well?

Mocking of Arried and Shinto-boy high command is welcomed but there will be no denigration of the good Dr. Kegel, who was, after all, a department chairman at the Mayo (the clinic not the salad dressing). Just because he "invented" a medical device that looks like a cross between a trailer hitch and a stainless steel d**** is no reason for giggling.

By ra way, the Kegel exercise should be mentioned in sex ed classes. The first time I had it used on me as a young lad I thought I had consorted with a she-devil.

[Cap Mandrake]

Purdy picture

[Cap Mandrake]

Amazingly, the TBF squadron that got slaughtered going after Murasame lost only 4 crews. This is a good thing because some staff flunkie did not train enough USN torpedo bomber crews. Note also that Murasame was 125 miles from Takao but still had a murderous CAP.