Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[VManteuffel]

Amazing AAR, I read the whole today and it's really a good stuff !

Thanks for your work and the passion you transmit.

[Disco Duck]

ORIGINAL: Gabede

My 14yr old son let his hormones over ride his ass last week. He bowed up to his mom when she had already lit up our oldest daughter about her driving habits. He decided that it was a good time to talk back and refuse a simple request concerning the cleanliness of his bathroom. Not good to antagonizes an already upset woman, first lesson learned.

I got in a couple of kicks.... while i was pulling her off his big ass. He is taller than both of us, but he is just not in the right weight class ( second lesson). She had him on the ground yelling for my help while she beat him mercilessly.

I may have saved his ungrateful life!!

LOL! the next knock on your door will be CPS.
My Super Liberal Sister (SLS) Started teaching in the mid-seventies. She was lucky enough to get into a top rank school system which was very much upper class. The kids had both parents and the parents didn't start having children until after they were old enough to be financial and emotionally secure. She thought any school that allowed paddling was run by a bunch of right wing Christian Republicans that should be thrown in jail for child abuse.

She was like that until about the last five years she taught. The demographics changed, more single young parents who were too poor to take care of the kids without Government assistance. I remember one night she was on a rant and said " some kids you just have to be physical with".[X(][X(]

She won't even supervise student teaches now. It is a real shame because she taught for thirty-three years and has pretty much seen it all. She just can't handle a modern classroom and the way kids act.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Gabede

My 14yr old son let his hormones over ride his ass last week. He bowed up to his mom when she had already lit up our oldest daughter about her driving habits. He decided that it was a good time to talk back and refuse a simple request concerning the cleanliness of his bathroom. Not good to antagonizes an already upset woman, first lesson learned.

I got in a couple of kicks.... while i was pulling her off his big ass. He is taller than both of us, but he is just not in the right weight class ( second lesson). She had him on the ground yelling for my help while she beat him mercilessly.

I may have saved his ungrateful life!!

Classic good cop/bad cop routine! Nicely done! You can milk that for months.

I saved my son once from his mom after she deduced he was going to a website run by a porn star. It was sort of a DUR (During Action Report) I guess you could say. Aside from getting viruses on the computer it didn't seem like a mortal sin to me. [:)]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: VManteuffel

Amazing AAR, I read the whole today and it's really a good stuff !

Thanks for your work and the passion you transmit.

Here's to not transmitting anything other than passion![:)]


427 pages. You deserves the VC and CMOH...well, OK, Iron Cross too.

[Walloc]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: VManteuffel

Amazing AAR, I read the whole today and it's really a good stuff !

Thanks for your work and the passion you transmit.

Here's to not transmitting anything other than passion![:)]


427 pages. You deserves the VC and CMOH...well, OK, Iron Cross too.

What do you and ASLP Sprior deserve then? [:)]

Selling butter cheap or using it to polish those boots before licking them!

Rasmus

[Cap Mandrake]

We desire only immortality...well, at least until the cleaning lady unplugs the server...oh, yeah, money too. That would be nice.

[witpqs]

But wait a minute, was he talking about the world's worst AAR(TM)?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

But wait a minute, was he talking about the world's worst AAR(TM)?

That is Admiral Lord SPrior's term. It think it was satire. Usually satire kinds means the opposite. Like when what's his name suggested the Irish eat their children during the potato famine. I am pretty sure he didn't really mean it (the guy who suggested the Irish eat their children, not Admiral Lord SPrior).

Of course, it might be completely different in England where public schools are actually private schools and Eaton is different from Eton.

[Cap Mandrake]

Crap! Did I spell potato right?

[witpqs]

Hmm. Maybe there is an 'e' on the end?

Then again, have you seen the {big insurance company name redacted} commercial where they mention that old farmer MacDonald is a terrible speller? They cut to him walking on stage at a spelling bee.

"Cow. Your word is cow."

"Cow. C - O - W - E - I - E - I - O"

Bahhhh! "No, that is incorrect."

"Dagnabbit!"

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Hmm. Maybe there is an 'e' on the end?

Then again, have you seen the {big insurance company name redacted} commercial where they mention that old farmer MacDonald is a terrible speller? They cut to him walking on stage at a spelling bee.

"Cow. Your word is cow."

"Cow. C - O - W - E - I - E - I - O"

Bahhhh! "No, that is incorrect."

"Dagnabbit!"

So this MacDonald guy must be the one that taught spelling to Dan Quail and Greyjoy? [:'(]

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

ORIGINAL: witpqs

Hmm. Maybe there is an 'e' on the end?

Then again, have you seen the {big insurance company name redacted} commercial where they mention that old farmer MacDonald is a terrible speller? They cut to him walking on stage at a spelling bee.

"Cow. Your word is cow."

"Cow. C - O - W - E - I - E - I - O"

Bahhhh! "No, that is incorrect."

"Dagnabbit!"

So this MacDonald guy must be the one that taught spelling to Dan Quail and Greyjoy? [:'(]

Remember the song "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"?

Old MACDONALD had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a cow
E-I-E-I-O
With a moo moo here
And a moo moo there
Here a moo, there a moo
Everywhere a moo moo
Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

Old MACDONALD had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a pig
E-I-E-I-O
With a oink oink here
And a oink oink there
Here a oink, there a oink
Everywhere a oink oink
Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

Old MACDONALD had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a duck
E-I-E-I-O
With a quack quack here
And a quack quack there
Here a quack, there a quack
Everywhere a quack quack
Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

Old MACDONALD had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a horse
E-I-E-I-O
With a neigh neigh here
And a neigh neigh there
Here a neigh, there a neigh
Everywhere a neigh neigh
Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

Old MACDONALD had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had a lamb
E-I-E-I-O
With a baa baa here
And a baa baa there
Here a baa, there a baa
Everywhere a baa baa
Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-O

Old MACDONALD had a farm
E-I-E-I-O
And on his farm he had some chickens
E-I-E-I-O
With a cluck cluck here
And a cluck cluck there
Here a cluck, there a cluck
Everywhere a cluck cluck
With a baa baa here
And a baa baa there
Here a baa, there a baa
Everywhere a baa baa
With a neigh neigh here
And a neigh neigh there
Here a neigh, there a neigh
Everywhere a neigh neigh
With a quack quack here
And a quack quack there
Here a quack, there a quack
Everywhere a quack quack
With a oink oink here
And a oink oink there
Here a oink, there a oink
Everywhere a oink oink
With a moo moo here
And a moo moo there
Here a moo, there a moo
Everywhere a moo moo

Old MacDonald had a farm
E-I-E-I-OOOOOOO.........

[Chickenboy]

@witpqs: He probably doesn't. I tend to be suspicious of those cultures that have perverted the schoolyard game "Duck, duck, goose" to "Duck, duck, grey duck" [:-] You can't trust 'em, I sez.

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

@witpqs: He probably doesn't. I tend to be suspicious of those cultures that have perverted the schoolyard game "Duck, duck, goose" to "Duck, duck, grey duck" [:-] You can't trust 'em, I sez.

Dagnabbit! [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

I go away for a few hours to have some oysters and 3 or 4 Long Island Iced Teas (named after the island not the ship, I think) and we are talking about phonics and animal husbandry when I come back? And these weren't your usual Long Island Iced Teas either. Perhaps none of you lads drink but for those who do...you know the effect that the more drinks you have the weaker they seem? Mathematically, this is known as an "asymptotic curve". Well, it was the opposite last night. By the last drink they were big tall glasses with 90% top drawer booze and 10% Long Island juice. Here is how this kind of thing happens. Stalker Girl just chats up the bartenders. It's the converse of the old idea of the despondent drunk lamenting his misfortunes and the bartender pretending to listen. By the time the oysters get there we are already onto the third love of their life. We had one female bartender who was really tatted up on her arms. I asked SG where the tattoos ended...so she asks the bartender...so she pulls up her shirt to show us and tells us the life story associated with each one. She couldn't actually show us all the tattoos if you know what I mean, but we still heard about every one. The one of her left ass cheek was for the musician she dated who cheated on her...you know..that kind of thing. This kind of thing works on male bartenders too but the strategy is different. They aren't going to start talking about their life story so it is different...you ask what they recommend on the menu..how long they been working there...that kind of thing. To tell you the truth, I think there is a little bit of the same technique she uses to get out of speeding tickets when she is going 90mph. She always asks their schedules and they tell her. If a guy did this they would call over the bouncer (actually there are no bouncers where we usually go..maybe the manager). Pretty soon you are getting free drinks and appetizers. You leave a big cash tip...et voila! Here is the deal. You never ask for free stuff. You have to have some class. Also, it can't all be free. You don't want the guy or gal to get in trouble. Also, I am pretty sure you have to have a woman with you or be fantastically attractive yourself (not that there is anything wrong with that).

If by some odd turn of fate I have to plan SG's funeral instead of the other way around, I will have to invite every restaurant bartender for 20 miles around.



***************May 4, 1943(c)**************


The Archbishop of Manira got another free drink at Milo's Breastaurant. He specifically asked for Aracelli. U'toh

[Cap Mandrake]

Port Blair: A C-47 takes off from India with a special box full of Victoria Cross medals to be air dropped behind our lines at Port Blair. JJ attacks again after one day off but the odds fall to 1:1. Our lads inflict 5:1 casualties! Huzzah!

Ground combat at Port Blair (46,58)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 11575 troops, 125 guns, 19 vehicles, Assault Value = 219

Defending force 5621 troops, 63 guns, 82 vehicles, Assault Value = 145

Japanese adjusted assault: 73

Allied adjusted defense: 49

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), experience(-), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+), disruption(-), fatigue(-)

Japanese ground losses:
992 casualties reported
Squads: 12 destroyed, 34 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

Allied ground losses:
158 casualties reported
Squads: 3 destroyed, 26 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 2 disabled
Guns lost 6 (2 destroyed, 4 disabled)

Assaulting units:
55th Infantry Regiment
10th Garrison Unit
56th Infantry Regiment
14th Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion
1st Provisional Base Force

Defending units:
44th Indian Brigade
45th Indian Brigade
13th Indian Light AA Regiment
173 Wing
120th RAF Base Force

[Cap Mandrake]

Dobo (you know, down by the Band Sea): We finally found the buggers!

Night Time Surface Combat, near Dobo at 83,116, Range 29,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Ayaha Maru
PB Heiyo Maru
PB Tatibana Maru

Allied Ships
DD Sims
DD Jarvis
DD Dewey

Reduced sighting due to 0% moonlight
Maximum visibility in Overcast Conditions and 0% moonlight: 2,000 yards
Range closes to 27,000 yards...
Range closes to 25,000 yards...
CONTACT: Allies radar detects Japanese task force at 25,000 yards
Range increases to 28,000 yards...
Range increases to 29,000 yards...
Japanese Task Force Manages to Escape
Japanese Transport TF evades combat

Wait a minute! No moon. 2000 yds visibility. We have radar. How did they know were coming? How the Hell did they get away? We have at least a 15 kt advantage on them.

Get this. After surviving with the personal intervention of Odin, the crazy SOB's come back during the day. All within sight of the starving LYB's on Dobo. I almost feel bad. OK, I'm over it.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Dobo at 83,116, Range 15,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
PB Ayaha Maru, Shell hits 11, and is sunk
PB Heiyo Maru, Shell hits 9, and is sunk
PB Tatibana Maru, Shell hits 9, and is sunk

Allied Ships
DD Sims
DD Jarvis
DD Dewey

[Cap Mandrake]

Bataan (the Peninsula not he Island): JJ is going after the supply they left behind at Bataan (40K)..or perhaps the small vessels we had in port there. We fool them, we no show up. The landing craft were formed up into a task force. [:)] CAP spills over from Iba, Batangas, Lucena and even Altimonan. This can't have been very satisfying for the Shinto Boys.


Morning Air attack on Bataan , at 78,77

Weather in hex: Extreme overcast

Raid detected at 119 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 34 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 9
A6M3a Zero x 2
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 9

Allied aircraft
Boomerang C-12 x 5
P-39D Airacobra x 6
P-40B Warhawk x 1
P-40E Warhawk x 2
P-40K Warhawk x 22
F4F-3P Wildcat x 3

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 2 destroyed
A6M3a Zero: 1 destroyed
Ki-21-IIa Sally: 4 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
F4F-3P Wildcat: 1 destroyed

Port supply hits 1

[Cap Mandrake]

Near Davao: Davao airfield was roughed up badly yesterday. JJ's effort to go after the CV's and Long Island (the ship not the drink) was courageous but doomed. Why do we have Sea Harriers on USN ships? I don't know. It just happened. The air groups on the carriers are worn out. They need to take a rest at Manado.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Davao at 81,93

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid detected at 80 NM, estimated altitude 7,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 28 minutes

Japanese aircraft
G4M1 Betty x 4

Allied aircraft
Sea Hurricane Ib x 9
F4F-4 Wildcat x 44
F6F-3 Hellcat x 40

Japanese aircraft losses
G4M1 Betty: 2 destroyed

No Allied losses

[Cap Mandrake]

Baybay, Leyete (not Taytay): Finally, serious payback for sinking Altamaha about 5 days ago. Baaahstards. Baybay airfield gets seriously plasterized by wave after wave of medium and heavy bombers (B-25's, B-26's, Beauforts, B-17's, B-24's). Lots of airframes destroyed on the ground. Even so, it was a great sneak attack by JJ, sinking one CVE and wrecking two.