Bring me the head of Diego Garcia...and the Mayor of Addu Atoll too!

[Cap Mandrake]

**********Front door of German Cultural Center, Miyako(Horycrappo)-jima, May 19************


Mr. Dewey, Esq: Good morning madam, I am with the firm of Dewey, Cheatham & Howe <hands her his card>. We are representing a large number of the residents here in a tort action to recover losses sustained in aerial attacks. I notice you have some roof damage.

Frau Bluher: But the Japanese have no money. They live on dried fish heads unt seaveed. Ve haven't had a decent schnitzel here in 2 years.

Mr. Dewey, Esq: Quite so, but you misunderstand. This is an anti-aircraft defense malpractice claim.

[Chickenboy]

You missed a prime opportunity there, Cap'n. The old "I haven't had a bite in days..." gag oughta still go over well on Haha-jima's circuit.

[Cap Mandrake]

*******Officer's quarters, 7th FS (P-38G), Batan Is., May 19*******

Lt. Nichols: Let me get this straight. We take off and head toward Miyako-jima but we really patrol over Ishigaki? And we do this for a week?

Young man in fine linen slacks: Precisely!

Lt. Nichols: And we get a percentage of this...what did you call it?

Young man in fine linen slacks: A shopping mall. On Miyako-jima. Bavarian themed.

Lt. Nichols: What I don't get is how can everyone get a 25% share? There are 25 pilots in the squadron.

Young man in fine linen slacks: You're first in, Lt. Be sure not to mention that.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Haha-jima School of Yiddish Comedy*********


Lt. Hata: A ferrow wahk up to me othah day. He say no bite in two days.......so I chew on him.


Mr. Berle: No, no, no, no, NO!

[Cap Mandrake]

I think Admirar Rord Nerson is selling Kachina dolls at the Grand Canyon but nobody is buying because the park is closed.

[Cap Mandrake]

P-47 losses over Takao were worse than I thought. It was a stupid idea. I blame Sister Maria Elena, my 2nd grade teacher. She told us we could do "anything we set our minds to". Phhht. That's what I get for listening to a penguin.

[Cap Mandrake]

Air losses from the 18th. Admiral Lord SPrior has been going after Rangoon again.

[Grollub]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***********Haha-jima School of Yiddish Comedy*********

Lt. Hata: A ferrow wahk up to me othah day. He say no bite in two days.......so I chew on him.

Mr. Berle: No, no, no, no, NO!

Mr. Berle: Ok, try this one instead.

Mr. Berle: A guy's is at the doctor's office and the doc asks him to describe his sex life.

Mr. Berle: The guy says "Infrequently".

Mr. Berle: The doc replies "Is that one word or two?"

Mr. Berle: Now you try it.


Lt. Hata: A ferrow is a the doctor's ah-office and the doctor aska him to describe his sex rife.

Lt. Hata: The ferrow says "Not ah-very often"

Lt. Hata: ... and the doctor repries "Is that one word or two?"

Mr. Berle: <facepalm>

[sprior]

Mr. Berle: Ok, try this one instead.

Mr. Berle: A guy goes into a sandwich shop and says "get me a crocodile sandwich and make it snappy."

Mr. Berle: Now you try it.

Lt. Hata: A man wark into sandwich shop and say "get me a crocodire sandwich and make it-ah fast."

Mr. Berle: <facepalm>

[Cap Mandrake]

Mr. Berle: Oy vey! Ensign Honda, YOU come up here and try it. OK, we went over this in the morning session. I'll start...you finish? Understood?

Ensign Honda: HAI!

Mr. Berle: Now, I want everyone to understood this a classic genre. Entity X walks into the bar. Audiences love it. Right, here we go.

A termite walks into a bar.......

Ensign Honda: <Ensign Honda nearly wets himself in excitement. He knows the joke!> And termite say does bar taste good here?

Mr. Berle: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! TENDER! IS THE BAR-TENDER HERE! IT'S A GODDAMNED PUN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? WERE YOU DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS BABIES? SWEET BABY JE......I MEAN JEHOVA!

[sprior]

Mr. Berle: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO! TENDER! IS THE BAR-TENDER HERE! IT'S A GODDAMNED PUN! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? WERE YOU DROPPED ON YOUR HEAD AS BABIES? SWEET BABY JE......I MEAN JEHOVA!

Ensign Honda: Oooh, ooh, I know-ah this one. Yes! It part of samurai training.

[Chickenboy]

Good stuff guys...[:D]

[sprior]

Poor fluffy

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Poor fluffy

Zounds! That is ghastly.

Still, where do you think that big surge in Bully Beef supplies came from?

[Cap Mandrake]

Pranning...one day later than last time

[Cap Mandrake]

Talked to a guy from Rhode Isrand last night over some Spaten.


Man, those people talk funny. It's as bad Edinburghese.

[Cap Mandrake]

************May 20, 1943(c)**********

Almost June and Okinawa is still the hands of the bad guys. Bahh!

Horrycrappo-jima: Hory crap! Japan mens hide under rain squah. Or maybe they have croaking device.

ASW attack near Miyako-jima at 91,65

Japanese Ships
DD Hagikaze
DD Kisaragi
DD Usugumo

Allied Ships
SS Haddo

Hory crap again! They bring Kongo. We lose a total of 5 PT boats with no hits and Kongo stays around when the sun comes up. Not sure what happened with Richmond. Most likely she turned around.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Miyako-jima at 91,66, Range 8,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
BB Kongo
DD Hagikaze
DD Yudachi
DD Usugumo
DD Kisaragi

Allied Ships
PT-187
PT-189, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
PT-244, Shell hits 1, and is sunk

Off Taihoku, St. Louis finds some sheep. Unfortunately Japan mens stay home. Just cargo. St. Louis and boys make it a clean sweep after a second round.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Taihoku at 88,63, Range 8,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
xAK Atlantic Maru, Shell hits 19, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK England Maru, Shell hits 29, and is sunk
xAK Nikki Maru, Shell hits 19, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK Kazan Maru, Shell hits 3, heavy fires
xAK Sekiho Maru, Shell hits 34, and is sunk
SC CHa-43, Shell hits 1, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL St. Louis
DD Strong, Shell hits 1
DD Monssen
DD Carmick

[Cap Mandrake]

Now sun come up. D'oh.

Lt. JG Perry is a bit too aggressive. He steers his sheep right under the guns of a WJD battlecruiser. The FOW report is a bit hyperbolic. It's 500 men of 6th SeaBees. Worst job you can get in May 1943(c).

Day Time Surface Combat, near Miyako-jima at 91,66, Range 19,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
BB Kongo
DD Hagikaze
DD Yudachi
DD Usugumo
DD Kisaragi

Allied Ships
LCT-138, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 532F, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 532G, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 532H, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 532L, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 532P, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 542K, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 542L, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 542P, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
LCVP 542Q, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
YMS-85, Shell hits 6, and is sunk

Allied ground losses:
1319 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 78 destroyed, 46 disabled
Engineers: 76 destroyed, 35 disabled
Vehicles lost 2 (2 destroyed, 0 disabled)

St. Louis finds more sheep upon her egress from Taihoku. We are likely low on ammo and torps at this point.

Day Time Surface Combat, near Taihoku at 88,62, Range 21,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
xAK Calcutta Maru
xAK Hiteru Maru, Shell hits 1
xAK Mantai Maru
xAK Ryoka Maru, Shell hits 18, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK Dainiti Maru
xAKL Hukko Maru, Shell hits 1, on fire
xAK Jinsai Maru, Shell hits 4, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAK Kuretake Maru
xAK Ryuyo Maru, Shell hits 4, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAKL Nitian Maru, Shell hits 4, heavy fires
xAK Zinzan Maru, Shell hits 3, heavy fires, heavy damage
xAKL Kanjo Maru, Shell hits 1
PB Uchide Maru, Shell hits 14, and is sunk
xAKL Yuki Maru, Shell hits 2, heavy fires
xAKL Kennichi Maru, Shell hits 4, heavy fires
xAKL Shino Maru, Shell hits 5, heavy fires, heavy damage
SC CHa-13, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
SC CHa-30, Shell hits 2, and is sunk

Allied Ships
CL St. Louis
DD Strong
DD Monssen, Shell hits 1
DD Carmick

Kongo heads NW after her raid on Horrycrappo-jima, narrowly missing St. Louis. One of the 25 subs in the area finds a target. Huzzah!

Sub attack near Taihoku at 88,62

Japanese Ships
BB Kongo, Torpedo hits 1
DD Yudachi
DD Kisaragi
DD Usugumo

Allied Ships
SS Sturgeon

[Cap Mandrake]

WJD bombers from Takao go after retreating St. Louis. We murderize them. Seeing more Jacks now.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Batan Island at 85,70

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid detected at 77 NM, estimated altitude 9,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 26 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 17
G3M3 Nell x 3
G4M1 Betty x 14
J2M2 Jack x 9

Allied aircraft
Hurricane XIIb x 8
P-38F Lightning x 3
P-39D Airacobra x 10
P-40K Warhawk x 37
F6F-3 Hellcat x 13

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 6 destroyed
G3M3 Nell: 2 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 7 destroyed, 1 damaged
G4M1 Betty: 1 destroyed by flak
J2M2 Jack: 2 destroyed

No Allied losses

Allied Ships
CL St. Louis
DD Carmick

And more.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Batan Island at 85,70

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid detected at 75 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 26 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M5 Zero x 16
G4M1 Betty x 9

Allied aircraft
Hurricane XIIb x 6
P-38F Lightning x 1
P-39D Airacobra x 5
P-40K Warhawk x 23
F6F-3 Hellcat x 13

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M5 Zero: 4 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 7 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
P-40K Warhawk: 1 destroyed

And again, this time with a capable Tojo escort. We murderize them again. I think the AI has emotions. All those bomber raids were ordered because Adm Mitscher sank so many transports and got away cleanly.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Batan Island at 85,70

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid detected at 70 NM, estimated altitude 13,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 24 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 9
G4M1 Betty x 11
Ki-44-IIa Tojo x 24

Allied aircraft
Hurricane XIIb x 5
P-38F Lightning x 1
P-39D Airacobra x 3
P-40K Warhawk x 17
F6F-3 Hellcat x 9

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed
G4M1 Betty: 7 destroyed
Ki-44-IIa Tojo: 1 destroyed

Allied aircraft losses
P-40K Warhawk: 2 destroyed
F6F-3 Hellcat: 1 destroyed

Allied Ships
CL St. Louis

[Argos]

Cap - your PM is full (perhaps by design.) Trying to get a scouting report on accommodations at Newport...