U 2 Bernie...

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Tue Mar 11, 2003 9:21 pm

I'm back now...send me those files for our Frog vs Fritz battle!

And beware...I plan on punishing my French forces...I expect no pity on them from you and they certainly won't get it from me either! :p

*****Last Statement Edited by Author for Content*****

Belisarius · Post by **Belisarius** » Tue Mar 11, 2003 11:47 pm

Gefechtstaffel Belisarius picked up the following message by aerial from the French front to their supply train:

Corps Orzel requests a full supply of clean, white flags! Lots of them! Glory in surrender!

We are, ofcourse, pleased to relay this message to the HQ of Kampfgruppe Bernie.

this will be fun. I'm almost rooting for Orzel here

M4Jess · Post by **M4Jess** » Wed Mar 12, 2003 2:04 am

nO FRENCH KISSING EITHER...oRZEL!!!:p

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Wed Mar 12, 2003 3:26 am

get your @ss home and download the files for our fight!

I feel like transforming some of your armor into scrap heaps!!!

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Wed Mar 12, 2003 11:37 am

Originally posted by Orzel Bialy
I'm back now...send me those files for our Frog vs Fritz battle!

And beware...I plan on punishing my French forces...I expect no pity on them from you and they certainly won't get it from me either! :p

If they won't fight like men in the real world...they will here! lol!:D

There will be no quarter given, that I promise! And no nickles or dimes either!

Actually, I have a rather simple battle plan in mind...

I've scrapped all my tanks & infantry... Instead I've equipped a battalion of spec ops troops with thousands of copies of Jerry Lewis movies and instructed them to leave a trail of them all the way to the English Channel. If all goes as planned I expect to see the French version of a lemming rampage as your troops plunge headlong into the Channel in a desperate attempt to grab that last copy of "Visit To A Small Planet"

If that doesn't work, my backup plan is to issue all my troops Saddam masks...

If that fails, I may actually have to issue one or two rounds of ammo...

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Wed Mar 12, 2003 11:46 am

Originally posted by Belisarius
Gefechtstaffel Belisarius picked up the following message by aerial from the French front to their supply train:

Corps Orzel requests a full supply of clean, white flags! Lots of them! Glory in surrender!

We are, ofcourse, pleased to relay this message to the HQ of Kampfgruppe Bernie.

this will be fun. I'm almost rooting for Orzel here

Bah! Why do you think they have white as the center of the Tri-color? Fold it properly in thirds and, viola'! Instant surrender!

Hmm...reminds me of a joke someone just emailed me... I wonder if I can sneak it in here?

Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By a surprising coincidence, both were blind from birth.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

"Oh, my," said the bunny, "I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. In fact, since I'm also an orphan, I don't even know what I am."

"It's quite OK," replied the snake. "Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could slither all over you, and work out what you are, so at least you'll have that going for you."

"Oh, that would be wonderful" replied the bunny. So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I'd say that you must be a bunny rabbit."

"Oh, thank you! Thank you," cried the bunny, in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, "Maybe I could feel you all over with my paw, and help you the same way that you've helped me."

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, "Well, you're smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be French".

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Fri Mar 14, 2003 6:50 am

It's France, August of 1940...

Orzel has been here before...

As the French...

It is not a pleasant memory for him.

But compared to what I plan to do to him...his last outing was a stroll in the park...heheh

The Blitz Is ON!

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Sun Mar 16, 2003 9:31 pm

the joke is on you Bernie....the last time I was concerned about my losses....this time I am seeing to it that my troops take their lumps! :p

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Sun Mar 16, 2003 10:42 pm

Originally posted by Orzel Bialy
the joke is on you Bernie....the last time I was concerned about my losses....this time I am seeing to it that my troops take their lumps! :p

Files are in the mail...it's Dyin' Tyme for my Frenchies! lol

New plan!

With all the news reports these days concerning "French Fries" I thought I'd create a few of my own... So I stocked up on Flampanzers and FT enginers.

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 12:51 am

The cowardly French dogs open with a barrage of 105mm smoke to hide their actions! Fortunately, a German MC tour group is in the area and report back on French armor advancing on all fronts. Of course the dirty Frogs attacked the tour group, inflicting light casualties. The tour group, being good and considerate motorists, immediately set out flares to warn other drivers that two of their bikes are down. The smoke from the flares also helps hide them from the Frogs. A quick call to the auto club gets help dispatched quickly, and the group is hopeful.

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 3:26 am

My French forces move out...and discover a landscape dotted with Bernies MC recon boys. They are everywhere it seems...and to my disgust one of them even surrenders to my forces!!!

A couple MC groups are sent fleeing back to where their chartered tour began...and I even discover some armor poking their noses around to the north. They are brought under fire just for good measure...but with the crappy penetration values of the short 37 gun on the R-40, I might as well be throwing rocks at them! lol

A German arty barrage falls where I ain't...and that rounds out the first full turn. Back to you Herr Bernie.

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 7:14 am

Originally posted by Orzel Bialy
My French forces move out...and discover a landscape dotted with Bernies MC recon boys. They are everywhere it seems...and to my disgust one of them even surrenders to my forces!!!

A couple MC groups are sent fleeing back to where their chartered tour began...and I even discover some armor poking their noses around to the north. They are brought under fire just for good measure...but with the crappy penetration values of the short 37 gun on the R-40, I might as well be throwing rocks at them! lol

A German arty barrage falls where I ain't...and that rounds out the first full turn. Back to you Herr Bernie.

The Greater Berlin Auto Club has mailed you out several stern protests (81 & 105mm) about your callous treatment of the tour group stuck in that field. They didn't surrender, your drunken troops stole their tools and they couldn't fix their bikes without them. So they decided to hitch a ride home in the back of one of your trucks, figuring you'll be captured soon enough anyway.

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 7:22 am

French armor pours across the fields outside of town like a herd of steel escargot in search of a serving platter! Which is good, because my Panzers are ready to slice, dice and shred them (just ask the crews of the half dozen R-40's that took hits).

My MC squads, having scouted out the enemy, now pull back and let the big boys in on the fun. 50mm cannon fire rakes the French lines, tumbling squads of troops from the backs of burning trucks, while tank after French tank meets its fate at the hands of skilled German gunners.

The frogs may take a VH or two in the next turn, but they will not hold them for long!

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 7:23 am

well, let's see...what happened that turn?

My French infantry have begun to panic already, which brought out a chuckle. A couple German tanks appear, they fire on my French units and low and behold...instant suppression value in the double digits!!! lol

I continue to engage German armor in the center and the north, but the R-40's prove to be little more than flaming roadblocks...a couple shots, with a few pinging off the Krupps armor of their foes...before the backhand turns them into infernos. This too brings out another chuckle as I take another swig of beer...only nachos would make this a complete "Fesitvus of destruction"...lol :p

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 8:43 am

Even French gunners can get lucky, and two of them did this turn. In one case, I don't know if it was actually an aimed shot, or if the gunner forgot to let go of the firing lanyard as he ran away, but a 47mm ATG scored a direct hit, from one hex away, on a IIIg that stumbled upon it. In the second case, a Char (soon to be CharCOAL) managed a side hit on a IIIg that blew the turret off. However, the French troops in the north are all pretty much supressed, and several of their ATG's no longer exist. A few R-40's also bit the dust this round.

Note to self: Have crews eyesight checked... Missed several +80% shots this turn, one at 95% with a range of 3

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:04 am

but actually not too bad in the south for the time being.

To the north Herr Bernies PzKw III's are running amuck...and there is little chance to stop the panic...as my morale attempts are either not effective or non-available on the infantry and ATGs.

To the center and south however I have exacted some form of revenge...as my S-35's and Char B1's rumble forward and let loose a torrent of shellfire. Most of it is not effective...but those 75mm's do score several hits. German infantry are even seen running from my French armor protecting the wooded flanks to the south...not a sight you get to see much of when playing in 1940! lol

:p

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:15 am

Originally posted by Orzel Bialy
but actually not too bad in the south for the time being.

German infantry are even seen running from my Frog armor protecting the wooded flanks to the south...not a sight you get to see much of when playing in 1940! lol :p

Running from? No, no, no! It's St. Patrick's Day! They saw a leprechaun and were chasing it.

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 9:18 am

that would make more sense! lol

Bernie · Post by **Bernie** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 10:18 am

"Berlin... I think we have a problem here..."

Um, Orzel? Where the heck do you buy your ammo?

Those Char B1's of yours are deadly!

I was a little surprised to see just how much armor you bought... I'd expected more infantry, and accordingly, I limited my armor to just a company of IIIg's... But, I figured I could still handle those dinky tanks of yours. Until the Char B1's started acting like Tigers with those 75mm's! Unreal accuracy and penetration, especially when you consider it's really just a howitzer stuck through a hole in the tank. Well, I'll do the best I can, but may have to resort to suppressing with arty until I figure out a way to beat 'em.

Orzel Bialy · Post by **Orzel Bialy** » Mon Mar 17, 2003 10:38 am

one company only eh? Well, you have an entire DCR Demi-Brigade bearing down on you my friend!

I figured you'd try to overwhelm me with 38t's and Pzkw III's and as such I went for a armor heavy set-up....not to mention it seemed fairly cheap to buy what I did!

If you want to re-set the battle, let me know. The last thing I would be able to stomach is a decisive French victory! lol

and yes, those 75's are deadly...shocked the Hell out of me as well when I opened up with them. However, I was getting off shots on the flanks of those AFV's....and as thin as the armor was on those early model Pzkw III's, the weight of shot from even a 75 field howitzer would probably be deadly against them. Still it was a bit disturbing to watch.

U 2 Bernie...

U 2 Bernie...

Jess...

Re: U 2 Bernie...

Hee hee hee....

Re: Hee hee hee....

Date to Remember!

Re: Date to Remember!

Herr Bernie....

Things are ugly in the north...

Re: Things are ugly in the north...

Well, in light of the circumstances...

Uh-oh...

Uh oh is right....