A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[poodlebrain]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********Seaside Virra, Truk, Dec 18, 1941(d)*********


Attractive young Rukanese woman in tropical attire: Honorary Admiral Mandrake-san, do you think a torpedo boat will be enough to suppress the enemy coastal guns at Ambon? Intelligence is 3-5 150mm and 4-6 75 mm operable.


Admirahr Mandrake-san: Hory crap! Why not someone say something before? Mandrake-san have to think of everything?

Sounds like Admirahr Mandrake-san is devoting too much of his attention to his duties as commander of the IJN South Pacific Breastwatchers, and not enough to fleet operations.

[Cap Mandrake]

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to take an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. [:D][:D]*



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. [:D][:D]*



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

That's racist! Not all people born in India are Hindi speakers. Not all Indianans, either.

[DanSez]

It is amazing what you can learn from reading AARs.

Pocahontas Panties Puns and Hairy Hindu Haikus rain down confusion on Allied SigInt traffic interceptors.

[poodlebrain]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. [:D][:D]*



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

If a Hindi speaker kills a Medi-Cal employee is it a capital offense? Or you could trust your luck to getting a bunch of jurors who have had to deal with Medi-Cal and realize killing a Medi-Cal employee is always justifiable homicide.

In the interests of keeping certain themes alive, do you think Medi-Cal employees are prone to writing and reciting bad poetry?

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

OK...Rook it up. Japan-mens have one 3500 ton AKE now.

Toho Maru crass, 4700 tons, avairaburh in Feb. '42, War ovah by then.

You can make-ah another before then, Captain-san. Japan-mens abirity to upgrade very different than Arries. Select a larger xAK and toggle through until you find one that can upgrade in short order.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain
If a Hindi speaker kills a Medi-Cal employee is it a capital offense?

Only if it happens in Sacramento.

ETA: [:'(]

[bradfordkay]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. [:D][:D]*



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

You are lucky they didn't list you as an archeologist...

[Xargun]

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain
Sounds like Admirahr Mandrake-san is devoting too much of his attention to his duties as commander of the IJN South Pacific Breastwatchers, and not enough to fleet operations.

I'm sure he is. He's helping his scantily clad aids understand the fine art of using the Japanese Rong Rance [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

*******Crew's mess, I-24********

W.O. Watanabe: OK, AGAIN!

After torpedoroom crew: <Shouting in unison> I, WE, HE, SHE, IT, THEY!

W.O. Watanabe: HAI, AGAIN!

After torpedoroom crew: <Shouting in unison> I, WE, HE, SHE, IT, THEY!

W.O. Watanabe: HAI! Arr torpedocrew-mens practice. Questions?

Able Seaman Oshio: Hai! Warrant Officer Watanabe-san, what-ah "it" for?

W.O. Watanabe: Damn it, Oshio. Watanabe not goddamned Engrish Professor. Whore Japan-mens navy rearn this so Japan-mens give orders faster. Just do. Admirahr Yamamoto-san orders.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. [:D][:D]*



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

You are lucky they didn't list you as an archeologist...

There was this Polish kid in medical school who wanted to be an archeologist but his mom made him go into medicine. He hated it. Terrible with his hands too. Not sure how he ever got through wood shop with all his digits. We had to practice blood drawing on each other and I drew him to practice on me. Poor bastard was shaking like a leaf. I am pretty sure he stuck the needle in my biceps tendon. Hurt like crap as I recall.

[poodlebrain]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: bradfordkay

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

*********IMPORTANT SOCIETAL OBSERVATION FOLLOWS*********



If you ever are sent to death row in California you should immediately ask to an IQ test......and don't use any big words either. Try to score under 75 and by all means you will have to stop playing AE. Ask to play Tic Tac Toe with the guards. let them win and then giggle with delight with their brilliant play.


Apparently, these same qualifications will earn you a data entry job for the state Med-cal program.


I filled out a form and listed "Indiana" as place of birth. Now they have me listed as a "Hindi" speaker. [:D][:D]*



" I realize past postings may have undercut my credibility but, I swear, this really happened.

You are lucky they didn't list you as an archeologist...

There was this Polish kid in medical school who wanted to be an archeologist but his mom made him go into medicine. He hated it. Terrible with his hands too. Not sure how he ever got through wood shop with all his digits. We had to practice blood drawing on each other and I drew him to practice on me. Poor bastard was shaking like a leaf. I am pretty sure he stuck the needle in my biceps tendon. Hurt like crap as I recall.

There was a missed opportunity for Mandrake-san to use phlebotomy in a sentence.

[witpqs]

It has an 'l'.

[Cap Mandrake]

6 year old comes in with his mom. Seems he's getting into trouble at school for yanking on his unit all the time. He's in KG and he already reads at least 2-3 grade levels above. Probably bored to death so he retreats to familiar territory. [:)]


The funny thing is the teacher's solution. She moved him to the other side of the room away from the girls. [:D] Evidentry it was believed to be some kind of pheromone thing.

[zuluhour]

sure he's fishing for zipper bass and not looking for his joint?

[Cap Mandrake]

Rowdy, talkative 3 year old comes in with mom and grandma and younger brother. He's done with his exam so grandma comes over to the table to get him. He leaps onto her back like a bareback Arapaho rider, holds on with one hand, leans back and slaps her on the ass with his other hand yelling and laughing..."Bad Grandma, Bad Gradma!" then he spurs her with his heels [:D][:D]

I wasn't sure if he adapted his routine form his prior punishments or if the parents were watching S&M videos and he snuck downstairs.

[poodlebrain]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

6 year old comes in with his mom. Seems he's getting into trouble at school for yanking on his unit all the time. He's in KG and he already reads at least 2-3 grade levels above. Probably bored to death so he retreats to familiar territory. [:)]


The funny thing is the teacher's solution. She moved him to the other side of the room away from the girls. [:D] Evidentry it was believed to be some kind of pheromone thing.

That is not my nephew, and I never told him that yanking on it would make it grow bigger. What's his mother worried about? He could be a brony.

[Cap Mandrake]

<looks at email again...not turn yet...just another BevMo ad...sighs quietly then turns on another episode of The Shift>


I grew up in Indianapolis. Nobody I knew ever got murdered and the biggest drug bust was when Johnny "Bad Ass" James brought cinnamon toothpicks to St Andrews.

[witpqs]

Did he bring enough for everybody? That would make him a dealer! [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

So my brother is in Florida working on this development project before the real east bubble burst. He get's pulled over for speeding or some such thing.

Officer: Good afternoon, sir. I stopped you for doing 60 in a 45 mph zone. Do you have any weapons in the vehicle?
<they ask you this in Florida>

Brother: Yes, I have a 9 mm under the passenger seat and an over and under in the trunk.

Officer: Are they loaded?

Brother: Yes, the 9mm is.

Officer: May I ask why you have a loaded gun in the car? Are you in a dangerous profession?

Brother: Yes.

Officer: What is that?

Brother: Architecture. [:D][:D]


He did actually have a personal bodyguard for about 2 years..a massive African American lad with a jaw like a WWII propaganda poster. Never quite figured out why that was necessary for real estate development.