A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

Fiji: First attack armost work. Two more navarh guard units stirr coming but probabry Japan-mens attack again tomorrow before Arried-men send herp.

Ground combat at Nadi (131,160)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1813 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 60

Defending force 994 troops, 6 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 7

Japanese adjusted assault: 10

Allied adjusted defense: 11

Japanese assault odds: 1 to 2 (fort level 1)

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+), fatigue(-)

Japanese ground losses:
16 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
42 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled

Assaulting units:
51st Naval Guard Unit

Defending units:
Nandi Base Force

[Cap Mandrake]

Future Japan-Samoa: Mandrake-san not-ah want to get carriers sunk in 3rd week of war and make Admirarh Sprior-san mad, so read carriers covah Samoa randing instead of running arr ovah South Pacific. Possiburh Arried carriers to SW now disappearh. We brow up some AK's. Randing on Samoa tomorrow.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Niue at 148,167

Weather in hex: Partial cloud

Raid spotted at 17 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 34
B5N2 Kate x 13
D3A1 Val x 14

No Japanese losses

Allied Ships
xAK Aeon, Bomb hits 6, and is sunk
xAK Wanaka, Torpedo hits 4, and is sunk

[Cap Mandrake]

Bad Thing: Japan-men commandah have too much roids from Jose Canseco and get unit crushed by rousy China-mens. Mandrake-san have bad feering unit in move mode.

Ground combat at 87,48 (near Sinyang)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 34082 troops, 195 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1018

Defending force 6571 troops, 50 guns, 11 vehicles, Assault Value = 207

Allied adjusted assault: 1260

Japanese adjusted defense: 15

Allied assault odds: 84 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: leaders(+), supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
5182 casualties reported
Squads: 165 destroyed, 73 disabled
Non Combat: 68 destroyed, 35 disabled
Engineers: 5 destroyed, 4 disabled
Guns lost 45 (8 destroyed, 37 disabled)
Vehicles lost 9 (2 destroyed, 7 disabled)
Units retreated 1

Allied ground losses:
279 casualties reported
Squads: 5 destroyed, 48 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 3 disabled

Defeated Japanese Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
12th Chinese Corps
48th Chinese Corps
84th Chinese Corps
7th Chinese Corps
85th Chinese Corps
3rd Group Army
21st Group Army

Defending units:
1st Ind.Mixed Brigade

[sprior]

Japanese men want-ah go Singapore to do dance of framing arsehole. We hope Japanese frying men not break Bugis Street too much

[Cap Mandrake]

Speaking of Japan-frying-mens, what-ah probrem with dropping bomb on Marberhead? It rook bad to waste gasorine and torpedoes rike that. Perhaps some kind office team-buirding exericise to raise morarh? Paint barh? Horeshoes?

Arso, new Arried-mens commandahs drop bombs on Bangkok first day on job. Rook rike we need Japan-mens fryboys in Bangkok too.

What-ah say Japan-mens pay back with attack on cities in Oz?

[sprior]

How about we send carriers with frying men, drop many bombs on Sydney-ah harbour. Ha ha

[sprior]

To raise morare we want play-ah with geisha girls. We love them long time

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

Ground combat at Johore Bahru (50,83)

Japanese Deliberate attack

Attacking force 7749 troops, 52 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 252

Defending force 0 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 0

Japanese adjusted assault: 243

Allied adjusted defense: 1

Japanese assault odds: 243 to 1 (fort level 1)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Johore Bahru !!!

Defender was suicide Sumatran Rhino with exprosive bert but beast unaburh to push detonation button with hoof.

Rest of Arried-mens run away to Singapore.

How broody herr did rhino get to Maraysia? Japanese frying-men have crose brockade. We suspect water buffaro. We report Engrish men's to All-Nippon Society for Prevention of Cruerty to Animars. ANSPOCTA wirr prosecute

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

How about we send carriers with frying men, drop many bombs on Sydney-ah harbour. Ha ha

HAI! That-ah sprendid idea. Nobody evah do that before. Arried-mens nevah think of it. Haha!

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: sprior

How about we send carriers with frying men, drop many bombs on Sydney-ah harbour. Ha ha

HAI! That-ah sprendid idea. Nobody evah do that before. Arried-mens nevah think of it. Haha!

The we shout, "suprise," very roudry

[Cap Mandrake]

Haha! That-ah rearry make Mandrake-san raugh!

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ANSPOCTA wirr prosecute

ANSPOCTA? This-ah some sort of Arried jack-ah speak? No speakee Arried code ringo! Tojo get suspicious...

[Cap Mandrake]

***********Strategic Pranning***********

Here probrem. New Arried commandahs probabry read some of Japan-mens prans before Arried-mens get drafted to be in war.

This-ah bring up question. Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Or, make new prans?

Or, pretend to make new prans and hope someone terr them fake new prans but just do same old pran aftah arr.

Or, pretend to do same pran but something inscrutaburh at rast second?

[Cap Mandrake]

********December 19, 1941(d)***********


Guam: Guam farrs to Bandasan SNRF

Sinkawang: Japan-mens transports get away. Marburhead retreats toward Sumatra and nearry gets on eup chuff from Japan-mens sub.
Oh yeah.. Japan-mens capture Singkawang or whatevah you carr that prace.

Ambon: Idiot staff frunkie not bring enough troops to take prace. Who know rittah brown Moruccans fight rike devirs?

Samoa: Hiei stop to rook at tremendous dispray of mango brossoms on Uporu and forget to bombard coastarh guns. Even so, Maizuru 1st SNRF get ashore in good shape-ah. The missing carrier division arrives and everyone have grand time browing up ground troops.

[Cap Mandrake]

What about Noumea? Forget it. You nevah hear anything about Noumea from Mandrake-san.

[Cap Mandrake]

PI: No more CAP. Crark AF get-ah brasted by medium bombers from Formosa.

[Cap Mandrake]

Force Z disappeahr. Probabry putting on Bondo and doing sanding and srapeing aftah we drop 73 60 pund bombs on them.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san: Hey, guess what, Mandrake-san start to actuarry rook at China and find whohe division just waiting in Shanghai.

Sprior-san: 21st Dvision? You go ahead and take. Engrish in Maraysia just speed bump. We have enough-ah.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***********Strategic Pranning***********

Here probrem. New Arried commandahs probabry read some of Japan-mens prans before Arried-mens get drafted to be in war.

This-ah bring up question. Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Or, make new prans?

Or, pretend to make new prans and hope someone terr them fake new prans but just do same old pran aftah arr.

Or, pretend to do same pran but something inscrutaburh at rast second?

I vote for inscrutaburh. Round-eye mens not know meaning of word so be very confused. Besides, it good to practice inscrutaburh for poker game after victory.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Most honorabre Mandrake-san: what-ah makes you think that Arried-mens berieve you not-ah stupid enough to do same thing? Domo. [&o]