A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Mandrake-san: Hey, guess what, Mandrake-san start to actuarry rook at China and find whohe division just waiting in Shanghai.

Sprior-san: 21st Dvision? You go ahead and take. Engrish in Maraysia just speed bump. We have enough-ah.

Ah, 21st Division. Very nice. Hai! You-ah make-ee sure enough Japans-mens in Shanghai to prevent revort when you takey, yes? I ah recommend some of 'buyabur' garrison units from Manchurey-ah.

[witpqs]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

***********Strategic Pranning***********

Here probrem. New Arried commandahs probabry read some of Japan-mens prans before Arried-mens get drafted to be in war.

This-ah bring up question. Should Japan-mens just do same thing because Arrid-mens berieve Japan-mens not-ah stupid enough to do same thing?

Or, make new prans?

Or, pretend to make new prans and hope someone terr them fake new prans but just do same old pran aftah arr.

Or, pretend to do same pran but something inscrutaburh at rast second?

They probably have really poor memories, otherwise they would remember how your previous opponents were 'disappeared'. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

**************18:40, December 20, 1941(d), Nice Virra with veranda right on Truk Ragoon**********

Mandrake-san:.. Hord on..everyone in battarrion gone?

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai, every one. It-ah probrem with new tropicarh uniforms.

Mandrake-san: Mandrake-san ristening. <crosses arms>

Jimmy Too Tarh: New guiderines carh for frip frops on Noumea because it supposed to be rearry hot.

Mandrake-san: "Frip frops"

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai! Rike Jap fraps.

Mandrake-san: Aha, prease continue.

Jimmy Too Tarh: Werr, when infantry get out of rittah boats they jump on corarh and cut up feet rearry bad. Onry few RAMF's not get hurt. So, nearry entire battarrion rorring around on beach with broody feet crying "MEDIC", "MEDIC"...then...France-mens finish boullabaise and attack. It ugry.

Mandrake-san: HORY CRAP? Mandrake-san not berieve entire battarrion wiped out be France-mens! HORY CRAP! How Mandrake-san exprain this at officah crub?...<covers face hands>.........

(TO BE CONTINUED)

[Cap Mandrake]

**************18:40, December 20, 1941(d), Nice Virra with veranda right on Truk Ragoon**********

Mandrake-san:..<reaches into desk and withdraws a long ceremonial dagger>

Jimmy Too Tarh: NO, BOSS, NO!

Very attractive Ruk-womans in row cut dress..I forget name: NO, PLEASE, MANDRAKE-SAN, NOT SEPUKU! WE LOVE YOU.

Mandrake-san: What-ah wrong with you peopurhs? Mandrake-san just cut up mangos. <produces a mango from the same drawer> Hey, risten. Bettah cancerh Freet Cristmas party at that crub in Noumea.

[Cap Mandrake]

[:(]

Ground combat at Noumea (115,160)

Allied Shock attack

Attacking force 774 troops, 17 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 28

Defending force 338 troops, 3 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 1

Allied adjusted assault: 24

Japanese adjusted defense: 1

Allied assault odds: 24 to 1

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), leaders(+), disruption(-), preparation(-)
supply(-)
Attacker: shock(+), leaders(-)

Japanese ground losses:
395 casualties reported
Squads: 9 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 20 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 3 (3 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units destroyed 1

Allied ground losses:
6 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Assaulting units:
New Caledonia Det

Defending units:
III/66th Naval Guard Unit

[Cap Mandrake]

Samoa: Hiei finarry moves in.
Probrem with bombardment attack is everything get brown up, even parts Jpan-mens want to use. Some idiot brow up fuerh tanks.

Night Naval bombardment of Pago Pago at 148,161

Japanese Ships
BB Hiei

Allied ground losses:
96 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 2 destroyed, 7 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 1 disabled
Guns lost 3 (2 destroyed, 1 disabled)
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)

Airbase hits 4
Airbase supply hits 1
Runway hits 15
Port hits 14
Port fuel hits 1
Port supply hits 1

BB Hiei firing at Pago Pago


The CL with the landing force was out of ammo. I detached her. A staff flunkie was supposed to send a CA from one of the carrier groups....oops. when that happens, the AK's move in with their 5 gun on the stern and take up the duty. We missed one the USMC 6 inch guns.

Invasion Support action off Pago Pago (148,161)
Defensive Guns engage approaching landing force

7 Coastal gun shots fired in defense.

Japanese Ships
xAK Hokkai Maru, Shell hits 2, heavy fires
xAK Daijukyo Maru

6in M1903 CD Gun Battery engaging xAK Hokkai Maru at 6,000 yards


This sort of makes up for Noumea.

Ground combat at Pago Pago (148,161)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1885 troops, 19 guns, 2 vehicles, Assault Value = 61

Defending force 1672 troops, 27 guns, 11 vehicles, Assault Value = 15

Japanese adjusted assault: 36

Allied adjusted defense: 3

Japanese assault odds: 12 to 1 (fort level 2)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Pago Pago !!!

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), forts(+), leaders(-), disruption(-)
preparation(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+), leaders(-)

Japanese ground losses:
39 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 6 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
1549 casualties reported
Squads: 13 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 105 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 22 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 36 (36 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Vehicles lost 12 (12 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units destroyed 2

Assaulting units:
Maizuru 1st SNLF

Defending units:
104th USN Stn Base Force
7th Marine Defense Battalion

[Cap Mandrake]

Ambon: We send some AK's back to Ambon to off-load more supplies and there is a Dutch sub waiting. Lousy ASW support. I brame staff.

Sub attack near Ambon at 76,109

Japanese Ships
xAK Meiyo Maru, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage
TB Hayabusa

Allied Ships
SS KXVI


The Holland-mens take shot at Japan-mes cruisers.

Sub attack near Ambon at 76,109

Japanese Ships
CA Chokai
DD Sagiri
DD Amatsukaze

Allied Ships
SS KXVI, hits 3

SS KXVI launches 4 torpedoes at CA Chokai


Ack, ack! ACK!

Pre-Invasion action off Ambon (76,109) - Coastal Guns Fire Back!
Defensive Guns engage approaching landing force

14 Coastal gun shots fired in defense.

Japanese Ships
APD Hagi, Shell hits 1, heavy fires
TB Hayabusa

Ambon Defenses firing at APD Hagi
APD Hagi firing at Ambon Defenses
75mm Field Gun battery firing at APD Hagi


Maybe the crusiers bombard tonight and we attack tomorrow?

Ground combat at Ambon (76,109)

Allied Bombardment attack

Attacking force 1800 troops, 20 guns, 4 vehicles, Assault Value = 55

Defending force 2164 troops, 12 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 56

Assaulting units:
Molukken Garrison Battalion
Ambon Defenses
Ambon Base Force

Defending units:
16th Naval Guard Unit
6th JNAF Coy

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**************18:40, December 20, 1941(d), Nice Virra with veranda right on Truk Ragoon**********

Mandrake-san:.. Hord on..everyone in battarrion gone?

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai, every one. It-ah probrem with new tropicarh uniforms.

Mandrake-san: Mandrake-san ristening. <crosses arms>

Jimmy Too Tarh: New guiderines carh for frip frops on Noumea because it supposed to be rearry hot.

Mandrake-san: "Frip frops"

Jimmy Too Tarh: Hai! Rike Jap fraps.

Mandrake-san: Aha, prease continue.

Jimmy Too Tarh: Werr, when infantry get out of rittah boats they jump on corarh and cut up feet rearry bad. Onry few RAMF's not get hurt. So, nearry entire battarrion rorring around on beach with broody feet crying "MEDIC", "MEDIC"...then...France-mens finish boullabaise and attack. It ugry.

Mandrake-san: HORY CRAP? Mandrake-san not berieve entire battarrion wiped out be France-mens! HORY CRAP! How Mandrake-san exprain this at officah crub?...<covers face hands>.........

(TO BE CONTINUED)

What-ah herr you expect? Takey medicine for victory disease, Mandrake-san. Attack significant-ah enemy base with a singre batarrion? Where heck other batarrions in unit? [&:]

[Cap Mandrake]

[font="Courier New"]--------ROST-----------

ONE-AH NAVARH INFANTRY BATARRION IN VICINITY NEW AND IMPROVED SCOTRAND. ANSWER TO NAME "RUCKY". PREASE TO CARR SOUTH FREET HEADQUARTERS, TRUK.[/font]

[Cap Mandrake]

*********Pranning*******

1) Get even

2) Bombard Nadi (Fiji) with Japan-mens cruisers tonight.

3) Carriers now refuered and reunited, move West-ah and drop bombs on Australia-mens at Nadi.

4) Japan-mens attack

5) Aeriar bombardment of Ambon from Surawese and bombard with cruisers then Japan-mens attack tomorrow

6) Randing at Canton today. Randing at Tarakan in 1-2 days

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
6) Randing at Canton today.

I-ah not know how to phrase this, but...ah...don't you arready have Canton?

Hint: It-ah rearry big city near Hong Kong.

[Cap Mandrake]

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
6) Randing at Canton today.

I-ah not know how to phrase this, but...ah...don't you arready have Canton?

Japan have Canton City, but want Canton Irand. Also Park Prace and Boardwark, and B&O Rairroad.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
6) Randing at Canton today.

I-ah not know how to phrase this, but...ah...don't you arready have Canton?

Haha...no Canton Isrand. Arried-mens trying to buird seaprane base.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

Wirriam Wordsworth?

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

Uhhh - ord movie, I think. Title is code for "Rorr in the Hay"

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy
and B&O Rairroad.

Why Japans-mens *want* B&O rairroad? They-ah can find locarry sourced B&O in tropicar bases, no?

[Cap Mandrake]

Here kind of house Arried-fanboy-mens need to own B-17 AND a B-25 and a C-47 and arr pranes stir frying.

Generarh Ryons prace. One time Mandrake-san meet chef of Generarh-san in Pavirions. Not-ah know if chef rike boys or
womans. Admirarh SPrior-san say Mandrake-san not-ah to worry about or turn into Neandertharh.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

What-ah this? Ret you think about.

Uhhh - ord movie, I think. Title is code for "Rorr in the Hay"

Hai! Pretty good-ah but anothah movie.

[Cap Mandrake]

Japan-mens thinking about randing at Raguna Beach so rook at rich Persia-womans at Montage.