A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Mandrake-san now think Japan-mens take 4th Div, 2nd Tank Regt, combat engineers, 16th Army HQ and navarh support troops to Port Moresby in first-ah wave. That-basicarry arr of 14kt-prus transports in Rabaurh.

Hai! [&o]

Don't-ah forget some-ah airprane support too, Captain-san.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

A*** Hata was a freakin' particle physicist compared to I** Van Skyke, who once brought a live 22 round to shop class, put it in a vice and tried to set it off with a scratch awl and hammer. Dutch inbreeding I suppose.

Mercifully, he was kicked out of shop class.

I had a classmate in elementary school that did that in the comfort and privacy of his own home. Concrete garage floor? Check. Hammer? Check. Live 22 round? Check. "Sense" God gave a hamster? Huh?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

A*** Hata was a freakin' particle physicist compared to I** Van Skyke, who once brought a live 22 round to shop class, put it in a vice and tried to set it off with a scratch awl and hammer. Dutch inbreeding I suppose.

Mercifully, he was kicked out of shop class.

I had a classmate in elementary school that did that in the comfort and privacy of his own home. Concrete garage floor? Check. Hammer? Check. Live 22 round? Check. "Sense" God gave a hamster? Huh?

The Minnesota branch of the Van Skyke family? I**'s brother was only marginally more intelligent. They both had heads like a prize-winning Napa cabbage. My theory at the time was the neuron impulses, having further to travel, couldn't get to the frontal lobe and back before something bad happened.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

A*** Hata was a freakin' particle physicist compared to I** Van Skyke, who once brought a live 22 round to shop class, put it in a vice and tried to set it off with a scratch awl and hammer. Dutch inbreeding I suppose.

Mercifully, he was kicked out of shop class.

I had a classmate in elementary school that did that in the comfort and privacy of his own home. Concrete garage floor? Check. Hammer? Check. Live 22 round? Check. "Sense" God gave a hamster? Huh?

The Minnesota branch of the Van Skyke family? I**'s brother was only marginally more intelligent. They both had heads like a prize-winning Napa cabbage. My theory at the time was the neuron impulses, having further to travel, couldn't get to the frontal lobe and back before something bad happened.

No, I was in SoCal at the time. Something in the groundwater, perhaps? Well...that was when California HAD groundwater back in the day...

Did I mention he had six fingers on one of his hand? Would that have been too much of a give away?

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san once stick two ends of a 50,000 ohm resistor into a wall socket and turn on switch to see what happen....but Mandrake-san have-ah enough common sense to be twenty feet away.

What-ah happen? Rots of smoke then roud pop then smarh fire. Hehe. Pretty good entertainment for 10 cents.

[Cap Mandrake]

************Briefing room, Hokkaido Homeboys Search Chutai, Rabaurh, Dec. 27, 1941(d)***********


Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: <in front of pirots with large ship recognition cards...puts up silhouette of small, crappy RNN AVP>

Pirots: <Screaming> Oh, oh! Batterhship...no cruiser...HAI!..Chicago crass! <everyone nods in satisfaction>

Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO
Not-ah Goddamn cruiser! Cruiser have big guns in turrets front and back. This-ah Goddamn crappy Dutch AVP. Understand?

Pirots: <Screaming> HAI! Hai!, HAI!.........

Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: OK, rets try again. <puts up silhouetter of USN freet oiler>

Pirots: <Screaming> Oh, oh! DESTROYER...FOUR STACKER...HAI!

Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: IDIOTS! What-ah you guys not-ah get enough iodine as babies? Does anyone see 4 smokestacks here? <they arr rook down dejectedry>.....Hata, you are the worst! What the Herr are you raughing at?

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

I think I found him on LinkedIn. "Supermarkets professional" Orange County. I wonder if he have-ah sex with womans yet?[:D]

He may have fallen in love with watermelon instead ...[;)]

[Cap Mandrake]

Editrix note: Lt. Uppington-Tanaka was the love child of the daughter of an English diplomat and a sea urchin fisherman from Sendai. The editorial board were concerned that he was using too many pronouns and articles but now concede he may have had some instruction in English. The board also believes he had a half-brother who served in the Royal Engineers in WWII(b or maybe c).

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

************Briefing room, Hokkaido Homeboys Search Chutai, Rabaurh, Dec. 21, 19419d)***********


Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: <in front of pirots with large ship recognition cards...puts up silhouette of small, crappy RNN AVP>

Pirots: <Screaming> Oh, oh! Batterhship...no cruiser...HAI!..Chicago crass! <everyone nods in satisfaction>

Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: NO, NO, NO, NO, NO
Not-ah Goddamn cruiser! Cruiser have big guns in turrets front and back. This-ah Goddamn crappy Dutch AVP. Understand?

Pirots: <Screaming> HAI! Hai!, HAI!.........

Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: OK, rets try again. <puts up silhouetter of USN freet oiler>

Pirots: <Screaming> Oh, oh! DESTROYER...FOUR STACKER...HAI!

Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: IDIOTS! What-ah you guys not-ah get enough iodine as babies? Does anyone see 4 smokestacks here? <they arr rook down dejectedry>.....Hata, you are the worst! What the Herr are you raughing at?

Could the activities of Hata and his squadron-mates in their various cockpits be the source of the rumour that "entertaining yourself" can make you go blind? There seems to be evidence of vision problems starting in this bunch! [:D]

[zuluhour]

[:D]&nbsp;this is better than TV.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

[:D] this is better than TV.

That is a low bar to surmount. Last night I was forced to watch Tori and the Victorious gang's April Fools episode for the third or fourth time.*





* It's a high school in Hollywood for thespians and singers and such.

[Cap Mandrake]

One year I won the group award for patient satisfaction. This last quarter I was in the bottom half so I was advised to attend a conference on patient satisfaction. Either I am getting grouchy or the sample size was crappy and I refused to give someone antibiotics when they wanted them. Go figure.


So one thing they tell you is to always ask if there is anything else to be addressed. So I decide to try this out on a 17 year old long-time patient with ADHD and mild Asperger's.


FAM: Right, so let's stay on the 40 with the optional 10 mg dose in mid-afternoon and see you in 3 months. We can recheck your blood pressure then. Is there anything else you wanted to discuss today?

17 year old: Yes, I want to be a female.

FAM: [X(] <Hory crap! There goes the schedule!> Hmmm. How long have you felt this way?

17 year old: Since the second week of Spring break.


Now, that had to be some kind of seriously eventful Spring break because that kind of thing doesn't usually just sneak up on you like that from what I've read. He wasn't kidding either. The thing is I knew exactly what to do. Turns out there are Sexual Identy Disorder talk therapists who have that as their whole gig. I know of two who are both Lesbians. Go figure.

[Chickenboy]

[:D]

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake


Lt. Uppington-Tanaka: IDIOTS! What-ah you guys not-ah get enough iodine as babies? Does anyone see 4 smokestacks here? <they arr rook down dejectedry>.....Hata, you are the worst! What the Herr are you raughing at?

We've ret in the broody Germans? There goes neighbourhood.

[Cap Mandrake]

******Purification Ceremony, Meji Shrine, Dec 27, 1941************

[poodlebrain]

You could have saved the family some money by recommending your patient commit a crime sufficient to gat him incarcerated in a state prison. The taxpayers of California would then be responsible for addressing any sexual identity issues, and your patient might find contentment as the object of desire among the other inmates.

[Lecivius]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

17 year old: Since the second week of Spring break.

Hory Crap! The second week?!? You folks out in SoCal getting 2 weeks now? Did this come in the teachers union recent contract?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: poodlebrain

You could have saved the family some money by recommending your patient commit a crime sufficient to gat him incarcerated in a state prison. The taxpayers of California would then be responsible for addressing any sexual identity issues, and your patient might find contentment as the object of desire among the other inmates.

You risk banishment to The Cornfield for political incorrectness again.

[poodlebrain]

My original inclination was to recommend counseling by a Catholic priest, but I figured that dead horse has been too thoroughly beaten.

I don't mind heading for the Cornfield, as long as it has one of those mazes. Cajun Country Corn White trash entertainment at its finest, getting towed around by a tractor in trailers made of barrels dressed up as cows.

[Cap Mandrake]

Sometimes I have an urge to go to Confession...but then I think.."35 years with no Confession,
even if I leave some stuff out he is likely to cuff me right there. Either that or I will saying
Hail Marys until the second coming"