A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

[:'(]

I would not like them here or there.
I would not like them anywhere.

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Editrix Note:

The Board has nearly reached its limit of tolerance for puerile and frankly racist characterizations in this narrative. Neither are these missives accurate to the sentiments at the time. Further displays will NOT be tolerated.

Also of concern are the glib and offensive characterizations of members of the bar.

Oh borrocks, now we in foh it.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Editrix Note:

The Board has nearly reached its limit of tolerance for puerile and frankly racist characterizations in this narrative. Neither are these missives accurate to the sentiments at the time. Further displays will NOT be tolerated.

Also of concern are the glib and offensive characterizations of members of the bar.

Oh borrocks, now we in foh it.

Probabry Editrix China-womans so get panties in bunch. China-womans much-ah more irritaburh than Japan-womans.

Probaby good idea if Admirarhs not say where at so Arried-mens not-ah send Force Ten from Navarone aftah us.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san find out one of carriers in KB onry have 32 sorties reft so have to send furr KB back to Rabaurh to wait for Akagi and pick up bombs and aviation gasorine and pee botturhs for pirots. Maybe Rabaurh have torpedoes too? Zuikaku go back to Rabaurh with some DD's at srow speed. Fuso go back to Rabaurh.

Seasick city boys go ahead to New and Improved Caredonia. Rest of Rord Howe randing force retire to NE to get away from damn Arried-mens submarines.

Kimura Det. embarking at Rabaurh today. Probabry go to Suva.

[Cap Mandrake]

************XXXXXX XXXXX, XXXX XXXXXX. January 14, 1942(d)***********

Mandrake-san: If Japan-mens see anyone who rook rike Gregory Peck, Mandrake-san want to know right away.

[sprior]

XXXXXX-XXXXX-XXXXX-.....-xxxxx

Prior-San Keep sharp rook out for David Niven too.

[sprior]

Broody herr, Singapore hoters no trust Ja-pan sairor-men

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Broody herr, Singapore hoters no trust Ja-pan sairor-men

Prace must be pretty crowded if two peopurh have to sreep in same room. Very charitaburh of street girhs.

What-ah brankets and sheets rike in prace rike that?

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
What-ah brankets and sheets rike in prace rike that?

Onry prace we been where sheets are harder than head board.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
What-ah brankets and sheets rike in prace rike that?

Onry prace we been where sheets are harder than head board.

Sound rike Japan-mens have too many sea-mens in Singapores.


Perhaps send some to Java-jima?

[Cap Mandrake]

By ra way, Mandrake-san notice probrems with Oosthaven randing

1) Much croser to Batavia and farther from air cover from Singapores

2) At reast one and possibry two rivah assaurts necessary to take Paremabang from South.

Do troops randing directry at Parembang have to pay rivah assaurt penarty?

[sprior]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sound rike Japan-mens have too many sea-mens in Singapores.

Maybe we should discharge some

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Sound rike Japan-mens have too many sea-mens in Singapores.

Maybe we should discharge some

Hai! Good idea! Good for morarh before attack. Mandrake-san send Comfort Maru from Takao. Probabry good idea to capture rubber prantations in Sumatra-jima.

[zuluhour]

make sure you get ribbed rubber from special trees. Tell officers to turn inside out for their preasure

[Cap Mandrake]

Editirx Note:


Crude sexual innuendo and miscogyny are equally egregious.





PS It is also not true that Chinese women are unusually irritable, damnit!

[Cap Mandrake]

Do troops randing directry at Parembang have to pay rivah assaurt penarty?

This-ah serious question.

[zuluhour]

You ah not crossing river, your in the river.

ambivalence penalty

ahhh amphibious penalty

ahh same thing

If reinforced, suggest extra pair of shorts.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

You ah not crossing river, your in the river.

ambivalence penalty

ahhh amphibious penalty

ahh same thing

If reinforced, suggest extra pair of shorts.

Right. That-ah make sense. In that case Oosthaven might work bettah rike Admirarh SPrior-san suggest. That arrow assaurt troops to recover disruption before move on. Bettah bring engineers too.

[zuluhour]

I wish I had kept track of how many words you two have made me look up! At least I don't have to grab that beast of a Webster's as much with my laptop.[:D] 

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Right. That-ah make sense. In that case Oosthaven might work bettah rike Admirarh SPrior-san suggest. That arrow assaurt troops to recover disruption before move on. Bettah bring engineers too.

Hai!

Howevah...in Chickenboy-san's WWII(a) and WWII(b), he attack-ah Parembang by coup-de-main. It-ah work too! Be sure to have overwherming strength and attack during amphibious bonus. But the quick strike (before he can dump every engineer ever produced by the Arries) can be a worthwhire endeavor.