A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: sprior
Probabry better in originar Japan-ese

No, that-ah good joke, even in Engrish..and not-ah make Editirix mad. Perhaps it about when say second part of joke. Mandrake-san rearn this at Haha-jima. Watch.


Mandrake-san: You know what-ah secret to comedy? <waits..then beome annoyed> Go ahead, ask Mandrake-san.

Jimmy Too Tarr: OK, boss, what-ah secret of.co....

Mandrake-san: TIMING! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA. OH, HORY CRAP, THAT-AH KIRR ME EVERY TIME. HAHAHAHAH

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san hear good candidate for Operation Tarrurah theme song on radio station in Towsnvirre. It go something rike this...


"Irene, Tarrurah-ray"...then Mandrake-san not-ah remember rest.

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Mandrake-san hear good candidate for Operation Tarrurah theme song on radio station in Towsnvirre. It go something rike this...


"Irene, Tarrurah-ray"...then Mandrake-san not-ah remember rest.

Was it this one? http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/saveferr ... ileen.html

[Chickenboy]

Hai!

Don't-ah forget, "It's a rong way to Tipp-ah-rarry" as a possibre song, Mandrake-san.

[sprior]

Happy Thanksgiving to our reader.

[zuluhour]

ORIGINAL: sprior

Happy Thanksgiving to our reader.

thank you.[8|]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

ORIGINAL: sprior

Happy Thanksgiving to our reader.

thank you.[8|]

Hai! Mandrake-san personarry wish to thank Zuru warrior for kind and royar support.

[Mike McCreery]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

ORIGINAL: sprior

Happy Thanksgiving to our reader.

thank you.[8|]

Hai! Mandrake-san personarry wish to thank Zuru warrior for kind and royar support.

Do you sometimes find yourself changing your l's to r's in real life or do you already do that just to make the transcriptionists crazy?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Wargmr

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: zuluhour




thank you.[8|]

Hai! Mandrake-san personarry wish to thank Zuru warrior for kind and royar support.

Do you sometimes find yourself changing your l's to r's in real life or do you already do that just to make the transcriptionists crazy?

Mandrake-san not-ah exacatarry sure what mean.

[Cap Mandrake]

************January 15, 1942(d)*************


Remember how Japan-mens destroyer and oirer escape destruction because crappy, annoying Reander run out of burrets? Werr, Mandrake-san presumption not-ah exacatarry correct.
In 3% moonright, without Radio Detection and Ranging device and with oirer pretty much same speed
as crappy Reander, and with Japan-mens ships ordered to go back to Marsharrs.....


Night Time Surface Combat, near Reef Islands at 120,140, Range 9,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Oite, Shell hits 13, heavy fires, heavy damage
AO Toho Maru, Shell hits 13, heavy fires, heavy damage

Allied Ships
CL Leander
CL Achilles
DMS Edsall

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san get-ah rearry angry when Arried-mens win batturh because of superior skirr or
pranning or even when just broody rucky rike in arr cases so far in war.

[Cap Mandrake]

[:@] It-ah dangerous to make Japan-mens angry. Japan-mens recon aircraft see Arried-mens ships roitering around at Merak on Java-jima so SPrior-san send bitchen Japan-mens cruisers from Singapores and Japan-mens sairors in rearry good mood because just back from Bugis Street.
Curiousry, moon same size near Java-jima as Santa Cruz Isrands.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Merak at 48,97, Range 5,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
CA Atago
CA Kumano
DD Fubuki
DD Usugumo
DD Shirakumo
DD Isonami
DD Sawakaze
DD Yukaze, Shell hits 1

Allied Ships
DD Stewart, Shell hits 7, and is sunk
DD Paul Jones, Shell hits 1

Reduced sighting due to 3% moonlight
Maximum visibility in Partly Cloudy Conditions and 3% moonlight: 6,000 yards
Range closes to 9,000 yards...
Range closes to 7,000 yards...
Range closes to 5,000 yards...
CONTACT: Japanese lookouts spot Allied task force at 5,000 yards
CONTACT: Allied lookouts spot Japanese task force at 5,000 yards
CA Kumano engages DD Paul Jones at 5,000 yards

[Cap Mandrake]

If Stewart sink in sharrow watah...maybe....hmmm..

Cremson crass in happier days. Stewart on left near USS Whitney.

[Cap Mandrake]

The amazing story of USS Stewart in WW II(x)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Stewart_(DD-224)

[Cap Mandrake]

**********01:20, January 15, 1943(d)**********


<aboard Kumano, 2nd in line ahead behind Atago, Japan-mens ships heading back to Singapore in cerebratory mood after browing up USS Stewart>


Rookout: <high pitched terror> ENEMY SHIP PORT BEAM..CROSE!

Cpt. Tanaka: <looks to port..an impressive rooking ship emerges from darkenss> HORY CRAP! IT THAT-AH ******** MACHINE GUN CRUISER! DO SOMETHING! SHOOT RONG RANCE!

Torpedo Officah: Captain Tanaka-san, did you say "Rong Rance"?

Cpt. Tanaka: Hai! Torpedoes! Fire Goddamn torpedoes. What-ah rong with officah? Mothah drop on head when baby

Torpedo Officah: Ohhhhhh...."Long Lance"..<shouts into sirry rooking pipe> PREPARRE TO FIRE LONG LANCE..SPREAD OF 4...SET GYRO TO..

Cpt. Tanaka: HURRY UP IDIOT! JUST ******** SHOOT ******** RONG RANCE BEFORE ******** MACHINE GUN CRUSIER START SHOOTING! FORGET ABOUT ******** GYRO!

[Cap Mandrake]

Night Time Surface Combat, near Merak at 48,97, Range 4,000 Yards

Allied aircraft
no flights

Allied aircraft losses
SOC-1 Seagull: 2 destroyed

Japanese Ships
CA Atago
CA Kumano
DD Fubuki
DD Usugumo
DD Shirakumo
DD Isonami
DD Sawakaze
DD Yukaze, Shell hits 1

Allied Ships
CL Boise, Torpedo hits 4, and is sunk
DD Whipple
DD Parrott
DD Tenedos

Reduced sighting due to 3% moonlight
Maximum visibility in Partly Cloudy Conditions and 3% moonlight: 5,000 yards
Range closes to 10,000 yards...
Range closes to 8,000 yards...
Range closes to 6,000 yards...
Range closes to 4,000 yards...
CONTACT: Japanese lookouts spot Allied task force at 4,000 yards
Japanese open fire on surprised Allied ships at 4,000 yards
CA Kumano launches Long Lance Torpedoes at CL Boise at 4,000 yards
CL Boise sunk by CA Atago at 4,000 yards

[Cap Mandrake]

New and Improved Hebrides: Turn out ship Japan-mens see at anchor at Efate probabry not-ah damaged Chicago. More rikery AVP supporting Goddamn Arried-mens PBY's.

Submarine attack near Efate at 120,154

Japanese Ships
SS RO-60

Allied Ships
AVP Arend, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage


Japan-mens take Ruganvirre. Not-ah sure where this company of infantry come from. Mandrake-san not-ah remember anything rike this in WW II(c)

Ground combat at Luganville (120,150)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 510 troops, 3 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 16

Defending force 274 troops, 0 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 11

Japanese adjusted assault: 24

Allied adjusted defense: 5

Japanese assault odds: 4 to 1 (fort level 0)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Luganville !!!

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), preparation(-), fatigue(-)
Attacker: shock(+)

Japanese ground losses:
17 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
146 casualties reported
Squads: 13 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 6 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Units destroyed 1

Assaulting units:
Bandasan SNLF

Defending units:
2/4th Ind Coy

[Cap Mandrake]

Borneo: Dutch-mens troops previousry retreated from Tarakan have been busy buirding trenches.

Ground combat at Tandjoengselor (68,92)

Japanese Shock attack

Attacking force 1826 troops, 19 guns, 2 vehicles, Assault Value = 53

Defending force 1071 troops, 20 guns, 1 vehicles, Assault Value = 14

Japanese adjusted assault: 44

Allied adjusted defense: 7

Japanese assault odds: 6 to 1 (fort level 1)

Japanese forces CAPTURE Tandjoengselor !!!

Combat modifiers
Defender: terrain(+), forts(+), leaders(-), preparation(-)
fatigue(-), morale(-), experience(-)
Attacker: shock(+), leaders(-)

Japanese ground losses:
26 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

Allied ground losses:
561 casualties reported
Squads: 16 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 38 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Guns lost 8 (2 destroyed, 6 disabled)
Vehicles lost 1 (1 destroyed, 0 disabled)
Units retreated 2
Units destroyed 1

Defeated Allied Units Retreating!

Assaulting units:
Yokosuka 4th SNLF

Defending units:
VII KNIL Battalion
Tarakan Base Force
Tarakan Defenses

[Cap Mandrake]

If Mandrake-san Arried-mens probabry get rearry angry that-ah Japan-mens stack so much artirrery in one prace.
[:)]

Ground combat at 84,43 (near Nanyang)

Japanese Bombardment attack

Attacking force 2382 troops, 163 guns, 174 vehicles, Assault Value = 1201

Defending force 43250 troops, 188 guns, 0 vehicles, Assault Value = 981

Japanese ground losses:
Guns lost 8 (3 destroyed, 5 disabled)

Allied ground losses:
309 casualties reported
Squads: 5 destroyed, 16 disabled
Non Combat: 1 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled

Assaulting units:
35th Division
32nd Division
13th Division
1st Ind.Mixed Brigade
3rd Ind.Mixed Brigade
8th Ind Engineer Regiment
9th Ind Engineer Regiment
13th Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion
7th Ind.Hvy.Art. Battalion
51st Ind.Mtn.Gun Battalion
6th Ind.Hvy.Art. Battalion
Tonei Hvy Gun Regiment
2nd Ind. Mountain Gun Regiment
12th Ind.Art.Mortar Battalion
3rd Hvy.Artillery Regiment
14th Medium Field Artillery Regiment
3rd Army
4th RF Gun Battalion

Defending units:
29th Chinese Corps
41st Chinese Corps
13th Chinese Corps
85th Chinese Corps
2nd Group Army
31st Group Army

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

ORIGINAL: sprior

Happy Thanksgiving to our reader.

thank you.[8|]

Sirry zuruhow-ah. He-ah refer to Chickenboy-san, of course.

Anyway, Happy-ah Thanksgiving to you, Rord admirar.

Might we have a toe-rag update soon too?