A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Disco Duck

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Mandrake-san just thinking about funniest joke in universe. What if funniest joke in universe start rike this....


An Adromedan, a Pinwheerer and a Sombreran walk into a bar.....


It-ah so funny have to have oxygen (or perhaps argon) tank avairaburh if have trouburh breathing when risten to joke..and everyone have to sign discraimer in case actuarry die raughing (which-ah hahppen in about 2% of cases). It-ah so funny it actuarry cure depression and make being happy for rest of rife. Easy to remember too. If say at party nobody get STD or DUI because everyone busy raughing for 3-4 hrs. It is riterarry FUNNIEST JOKE IN UNIVERSE.

Onry probrem is many Andromedans and Pinwheerers and especiarry Sombrearans get rearry, rearry offended and accuse maker of joke to be "garaxist".




So here morarh question: Is OK to stirr say joke if rook around first and make sure no Andromedans or Pinwheerers or, especiarry, Sombrerans in room?

The only really good jokes are the Mic, Tony and Levi jokes. [:D]

Spoken rike a true Pinwheerer!
.... Uh-oh ... everyone go radio sirent!

[Cap Mandrake]

Regarh department at Seaside Virra working on discraimer. Everyone have to sign first or Mandrake-san not-ah terr "funniest joke in universe"

[Cap Mandrake]

*****************Feb 12, 1942(d)***************

Oz: Sub gauntlet to Rockhampton. Good ASW search, 4-5 ASW groups..still not enough.
Mizuho will be OK.

Submarine attack near Rockhampton at 100,148

Japanese Ships
CS Mizuho, Torpedo hits 1

Allied Ships
SS KXVI

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Everyone have to sign first

Chickenboy-san have to rook at papah first. Make sure no M&M trick carbon copy to stear signahtuh.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
Mizuho

Gesundheit

[Cap Mandrake]

This-ah same Maru hit by sub torpedo yestahday. Nearry go grub, grub. SCTF rooking at dorphins or something,
Maru make it to Rockhampton. Probabry hard to get Japan-mens on ship back on ship in future.

Night Time Surface Combat, near Bundaberg at 96,154, Range 2,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
TB Kasasagi
TB Hiyodori
TB Kiji
TB Kamo
SC Ch 12
xAK Azumasan Maru, Shell hits 2, Torpedo hits 1

Allied Ships
PT-37
PT-40
PT-42
PT-43, Shell hits 1, and is sunk
PT-44
PT-48, Shell hits 3, and is sunk

Japanese ground losses:
25 casualties reported
Squads: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 1 disabled

Damn submarines arr ovah prace.

Sub attack near Rockhampton at 98,152

Japanese Ships
TB Hayabusa
xAP Huso Maru, on fire
DD Hayashio
PB Shoei Maru

Allied Ships
SS Triton

Rike vermin

ASW attack near Rockhampton at 99,152

Japanese Ships
PB Saiko Maru
PB Myoken Maru

Allied Ships
SS S-27

See what mean?

Submarine attack near Rockhampton at 98,152

Japanese Ships
CS Chitose

Allied Ships
SS Triton

[Cap Mandrake]

More soften up 1st Aus Div. Japan-mens bring 5 batturships and AE to Rockhampton so can drive down to Maryborough and brow things up every night once operation start.

Morning Air attack on 1st Australian Division, at 96,157 (Maryborough)

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 11,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 5 minutes

Japanese aircraft
Ki-21-IIa Sally x 41

No Japanese losses

Allied ground losses:
35 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

[Cap Mandrake]

SNRF Coy randing at Bundaberg. Capture town tomorrow and see if any white-womans stir there.

[Cap Mandrake]

Future Japan-mens Timor: RN cruisers show up. This-ah good timing because anothah battarrion of Emperor's infantry coming by boat in 1-2 days. Now cruiser have to go get burets somewhere.

Night Naval bombardment of Koepang at 68,116

Allied Ships
CA Exeter
CA Cornwall
DD Parrott
DD Whipple

Japanese ground losses:
85 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 4 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 5 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled

[Cap Mandrake]

Burma: Arried-mens with pranes with animarh mouth on front attack Rangoon. Airfierd at Rangoon stirr broken. Zeroes at Pegu.
Probabry Arried-mens get-ah ready to brow up refinery.

Morning Air attack on Rangoon , at 54,53

Weather in hex: Clear sky

Raid spotted at 41 NM, estimated altitude 32,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 10 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 3

Allied aircraft
H81-A3 x 24

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 2 destroyed

No Allied losses

Aircraft Attacking:
23 x H81-A3 sweeping at 28000 feet *

[Cap Mandrake]

Years aftah pass away, Mandrake-san find out why coor uncurh arways bringing stuff rike bamboo fry pores and boxing groves back from Tairand.

Turn out coor uncurh that rike to drink arot working for CIA in Raos. [:)]

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Years aftah pass away, Mandrake-san find out why coor uncurh arways bringing stuff rike bamboo fry pores and boxing groves back from Tairand.

Turn out coor uncurh that rike to drink arot working for CIA in Raos. [:)]

Uh-oh ... they are going to be some steamed that you blew their "Fly Fishing Kick Boxer" cover! [:D]

Incidentally, I visited Laos about four years ago - nothing to see there (of national security interest).
All I learned is that many of the "waitresses" at the open-air restaurants along the Mekong River were "ladyboys" (not that I swing that way).

[Cap Mandrake]

****************Feb. 13, 1942(d)****************

Port Blair: White Devirs bring in more pranes reft ovah from Batturh of Britain. Shoot up barsa wood Nerrs pretty good.

Morning Air attack on Port Blair , at 46,58

Weather in hex: Overcast

Raid spotted at 38 NM, estimated altitude 28,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 14 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 14
G3M2 Nell x 36
Ki-43-Ic Oscar x 8

Allied aircraft
Hurricane IIa Trop x 15
Hurricane IIb Trop x 14

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed
G3M2 Nell: 8 destroyed, 2 damaged
Ki-43-Ic Oscar: 1 destroyed

No Allied losses

[Cap Mandrake]

Java Sea: Admirarh SPrior-san pranning randing on Java-jima. Evidentarry, Arried-mens take objection.

Sub attack near Batavia at 50,98

Japanese Ships
SS I-124

Allied Ships
BB Royal Sovereign, Torpedo hits 2
DD Downes
DD Tenedos

Hehe. RS obviousry trying to get to transports. Sub commndah craim batturship sink. Maybe, maybe not.

[Cap Mandrake]

Ugrofortresses darken skies...werr..sort of.

Morning Air attack on TF, near Semarang at 54,99

Weather in hex: Thunderstorms

Raid spotted at 12 NM, estimated altitude 6,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 4 minutes

Allied aircraft
139WH-3 x 8

No Allied losses

Japanese Ships
xAK Kinugawa Maru
xAP Baikal Maru

Aircraft Attacking:
8 x 139WH-3 bombing from 3000 feet
Naval Attack: 3 x 300 kg SAP Bom

<makes rabiarh fricative sound>

Morning Air attack on TF, near Semarang at 54,99

Weather in hex: Thunderstorms

Raid spotted at 16 NM, estimated altitude 4,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Allied aircraft
139WH-3 x 5

Allied aircraft losses
139WH-3: 1 damaged

Japanese Ships
BB Haruna

Oops. Oh werr, rike they say, shit hahppen. Akasan Maru sinks...one rousy bomb.

Afternoon Air attack on TF, near Semarang at 54,99

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 17 NM, estimated altitude 3,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 6 minutes

Allied aircraft
139WH-3 x 2

No Allied losses

Japanese Ships
xAK Asakasan Maru, Bomb hits 1, heavy fires

Japanese ground losses:
99 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 2 destroyed, 7 disabled
Engineers: 1 destroyed, 0 disabled

[Cap Mandrake]

China: Annoying White Devirs ambush Japan-mens in China. Arr Vorunteer Group nevah stay in same prace.

Afternoon Air attack on 59th Chinese Corps, at 84,48 , near Ichang

Weather in hex: Severe storms

Raid spotted at 20 NM, estimated altitude 12,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 8 minutes

Japanese aircraft
B5N2 Kate x 3
Ki-43-Ic Oscar x 11

Allied aircraft
H81-A3 x 14

Japanese aircraft losses
B5N2 Kate: 2 destroyed
Ki-43-Ic Oscar: 2 destroyed

[Cap Mandrake]

Oz: Carrier raid on Aderaide. No fightahs at arr. Even so it-ah big prace to brow up.
Japan-mens have no interrigence about where things are. Vars stay on ships with navarh duty.

Morning Air attack on Melbourne , at 82,170

Weather in hex: Light cloud

Raid detected at 119 NM, estimated altitude 25,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 39 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 52
B5N2 Kate x 122

Japanese aircraft losses
B5N2 Kate: 3 damaged

Airbase hits 11
Runway hits 12

Aircraft Attacking:
26 x A6M2 Zero sweeping at 24000 feet
26 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 15000 feet
Airfield Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb
26 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 15000 feet
Airfield Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb
17 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 15000 feet
Airfield Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb
26 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 15000 feet
Airfield Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb
27 x B5N2 Kate bombing from 15000 feet
Airfield Attack: 2 x 250 kg GP Bomb

[Cap Mandrake]

Sneaky Arried-mens sweep ovah Bundaberg. Japan-mens zero-jockeys respond from Rockhampton. Japan-mens capture Bundaberg but
prace pretty werr beat up. 93 fightahs at Brisbane. Very tempting to send in navarh bombardment despite mines.

Afternoon Air attack on Bundaberg , at 96,155

Weather in hex: Heavy cloud

Raid spotted at 49 NM, estimated altitude 34,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 11 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 7

Allied aircraft
Hurricane IIb Trop x 14
P-40E Warhawk x 10

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 1 destroyed

No Allied losses

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Damn submarines arr ovah prace.

I think you're being duped. Ship commanders sitting in pub making up war stories to get more medars...eh, medals.

[Cap Mandrake]

So Mandrake-san watch Gone Girh rast night and get COMPRETERY creeped out.

Then wake up in morning and Starker Girh stating at face. [X(] Mandrake-san jump out of bed and rand on top of Tums box..ita-h rike freaking punji-stick.