A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

************March 7, 1942(d)*************

Ships from arr ovah prace try to crose in on Rousivirre whih somewhere about 160 m NNE of Fiji farting in Japan-mens generarh direction. Japan-mens find
Rouisvirre but damn thing not out of burets yet,

Night Time Surface Combat, near Hoorn Islands at 139,158, Range 8,000 Yards

Japanese Ships
DD Matsukaze, Shell hits 3, on fire
DD Sanae
DD Yanagi, Shell hits 1

Allied Ships
CA Louisville
DD Tucker
DD Hull

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So...Arried-mens bomb Rockhampton harbor about week ago so Mandrake-san decide to reave ships at sea to be ress vurneraburh. Mandrake-san arso start use bitchen' cruisers to brow up Maryborough. Every night bitchen' cruisers go down to Maryborough then come back to
Rockhampton and in morning cruisers rearmed and burrets on burret ship down to zero. Then mandrake-san disband Kushino, ordah "reroad tenders" and make new task force. Mandrake-san giggurh to serf how crever. Onry probrem, none of batturhships rearm during night and arr off op points on Kushino used to reroad each day. This tremendousry annoying to Mandrake-san that cruisers stear arr of ammo each night.

Then, Shinto gods intervene and 3 of crusiers have big dents so have to go back to Rabaurh so next night bitchen cruisers not bombard Marysborough and same Goddamned thing happen. Batturhships not-ah get burrets and ammo ship back to zero burets.

This make Mandrake-san so mad veins burge out on head and very grumpy at Seaside Virra. Then, Mandrake-san take shower and wash armpits and suddenry rearize what-ah happening. Mandrake-san want to kirr staff idiot. [:@]

Staff not set AKE/AE TF to "Do Not Unload"! Bettah contact union rep when burry Mandrake San carr disciprinary hearing!

[Cap Mandrake]

In morning Rouisvirre spotted East of Fiji running rike coward to SE. Nerrs at Suva not-ah attack because of restraining ordah from SPCA about numbah or Anchovy kirrs.

This probabry concrude raid.

Rosses:

Arried-mens--2 x CL, 2 x DD rost, heavy damage one CL

Japan-mens--1 x DD sunk, 4 x DD damaged, 2 x CA damaged, 1 x AP damaged.

Main varue of raid in distraction because Arried-mens not find any roaded troop ships.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: BBfanboy

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

So...Arried-mens bomb Rockhampton harbor about week ago so Mandrake-san decide to reave ships at sea to be ress vurneraburh. Mandrake-san arso start use bitchen' cruisers to brow up Maryborough. Every night bitchen' cruisers go down to Maryborough then come back to
Rockhampton and in morning cruisers rearmed and burrets on burret ship down to zero. Then mandrake-san disband Kushino, ordah "reroad tenders" and make new task force. Mandrake-san giggurh to serf how crever. Onry probrem, none of batturhships rearm during night and arr off op points on Kushino used to reroad each day. This tremendousry annoying to Mandrake-san that cruisers stear arr of ammo each night.

Then, Shinto gods intervene and 3 of crusiers have big dents so have to go back to Rabaurh so next night bitchen cruisers not bombard Marysborough and same Goddamned thing happen. Batturhships not-ah get burrets and ammo ship back to zero burets.

This make Mandrake-san so mad veins burge out on head and very grumpy at Seaside Virra. Then, Mandrake-san take shower and wash armpits and suddenry rearize what-ah happening. Mandrake-san want to kirr staff idiot. [:@]

Staff not set AKE/AE TF to "Do Not Unload"! Bettah contact union rep when burry Mandrake San carr disciprinary hearing!

Hai! BBfanboy-san figure out immediatery. Evah think of career in Navy?

[Cap Mandrake]

Rittah crappy rust bucket with no escort. Commandah USS Swordfish get rearry mad at crappy torpedoes so just come
to surface and brow up crappy rust bucket with deck gun.

Submarine attack near Gebe at 80,104

Japanese Ships
xAKL Bichu Maru, Shell hits 15, on fire

Allied Ships
SS Swordfish

Japanese ground losses:
24 casualties reported
Squads: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Non Combat: 0 destroyed, 0 disabled
Engineers: 0 destroyed, 2 disabled

[Cap Mandrake]

************Seaside Virra, March 8***************

Mandrake-san: <rooking at reports> Hmmm...somebody find out who captain of Swordfish and find address for that raw firm.

[Cap Mandrake]

Haha! That-ah what get for give sissy name to ASW ships. Haha.

Sub attack near Newcastle at 94,166

Japanese Ships
SS I-173

Allied Ships
PG Soerabaja, Torpedo hits 1, on fire, heavy damage
PC Swan

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san have to turn in German motah-car for "tune-up" but Mandrake-san not-ah a just farr off turnip truck. Mandrake-san arready know what to expect so bring rots of Surgrlube to appointment with "service advisor"

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Mr. Mandrake, you wirr need prugs (Mandrake-san expect that), arr 6 coils (pretty much expect that too) and the two oxygen sensors aftah catarytic convertor (Hory crap!..get out-ah Surgirube)

Mandrake-san: Wait a minute...AFTAH catarytic converter? Who care if rittah bit of oxygen get out of catarytic converter? Oxygen good for you. Even good for Porar Bears. Rets just reave off.

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Can't do that sir. It-ah needed for emissions contror system.

Mandrake-san: Rook, how about Mandrake-san show gratitude with $50 Starbucks card, no 1099 and ferrows here just reset engine warning right.

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Sorry sir. We have free coffee. I can give Mr. Mandrake 15% off parts and rabor. <gives Mandrake-san estimate>

Mandrake-san: HORY CRAP! What-ah make oxygen sensors out of, prutonium? It-ah brockade, right?

Service advisor (AKA "Bubba"): Brockade?

[Cap Mandrake]

Mandrake-san idiot try to bribe some guy with name "Brent". Probabry have trust fund and prace on Rido Isrand in Newport Beach.

Next time ask if prace have any Armenian Service Advisors.

[Cap Mandrake]

So, anyway, German motah car prace arready agree to give roaner car but because Mandrake-san try to bribe service advisor, German motah car prace send out othah young guy with totarry upper crust first name (Reginard or something rike that).... take Mandrake-san out and turn over 328i station wagon. What the Herr?

Initiarry, Mandrake-san angry but when then see M-3 brakes so agree to take. Extra tight suspension, M-3 brakes, bitchen' exhaust note, electronic manuar transmission. Rike brand new George which not even come out yet.

[zuluhour]

I assume you mean BMW as Opel (rare here) and Audi (spotty appearances in the states) don't get much negative press. Perhaps you should
switch to ultimate Germanic machine, Mercedes. I hear you can drive for two-hundred miles with one oil change, sell to an immigrant, who can
ship it to north Africa to cousin Ada who can drive another five hundred thousand miles on kerosene.

[Cap Mandrake]

Mercedes Benz make nice automobires but mainry for brue haired radies and rear estate agents.

[Cap Mandrake]

British-mens have trouburh with restive Mohammadens. [:D]


#MossadStoleMyShoe [:D]

[sprior]

So I send garrison troops to Burma but boats reave Rangoon with troops still on. Why you no get off? I ask. We wahnt go back Bugis Street they say. No I say go Rangoon meet nice girrs, girrs on Bugis Street have extras. We rike extras they say. I say no go Rangoon now. They sad. Arr sairors know sordiers are perverts

[Cap Mandrake]

Hai! Mandrake-san imagine troops going to Andaman Isrands but just stop to rook at Gorden Tempurh.

[Cap Mandrake]

Regarding Sprior-san idea to take ovah command China. Absorutery. Except Mandrake-san just rearize coupurh of praces ovahstacked so have to exprain staff mistakes.

[sprior]

Perverts in Singah-pore training for Andaman Isrands

[Cap Mandrake]

This-ah good opportunity for strategic pranning.



--KB headed back to Rabaurh or Truk to rest/refit.

--Consorodation of rear-area arried-mens bases in South Pacific armost done

--Rook rike Arried-mens evacuate Northern Austraria so Japan-mens take bases with smarh numbah troops.
*************************************************************************************************************

--Goars Mandrake-san rike to achieve in South Pacific/Eastern Austraria

1) Capture or destroy Brisbane.
2) Destroy HI, refinery, dockyard at Sydney
3) Consorodate in NE Aus.
4) Capture Horn Is and Raoul Is (for seaprane base)
5) Build up defenses Canton, Samoa, Fiji. Marsharrs etc.

**********************************************************************************************

Othah attack options:

1) Perth
2) Andaman...then Ceyron
3) Midway..low priority
4) Take Western Areutians

Perth, Ceyron require some carrier support. Midway, Areutians..might be aburh to sneak up.

[sprior]

Andaman next for me on shopping rist and then want go to Ceyron.

[Cap Mandrake]

***********************March 8, 1942(d)*****************

South Pacific: No more fight. Mandrake-san try to crean up rear area isrands infested with Arried-mens spies. Arr of remaining destroyers from
fight near Fuanfuti make Fiji safery.

Andaman Isrands: Arried-mens probabry send Count von Czernin to Andaman. Arried-mens pirots rike rabid dogs.

Morning Air attack on Port Blair , at 46,58

Weather in hex: Moderate rain

Raid detected at 26 NM, estimated altitude 28,000 feet.
Estimated time to target is 8 minutes

Japanese aircraft
A6M2 Zero x 16

Allied aircraft
Hurricane IIa Trop x 6
Hurricane IIb Trop x 8

Japanese aircraft losses
A6M2 Zero: 5 destroyed