A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Greater East Asia Co-prosperity Sphere

[Cap Mandrake]

This-ah WWII(d). mandarake-san have to exprain everything?

[RangerJoe]

Yes, you do. But my mistake on the Ramen, I was referring to the instant Ramen invented by Ando. (May he Rest In Peace.)

In 1958, instant noodles were invented by Momofuku Ando, the Chinese-Japanese founder and chairman of Nissin Foods.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ramen

[Cap Mandrake]

"Momofuku" very diffcurt name in US.


Schooryard burries: Hey kid! What's your name? Slanty?

Momofuku: No, Momofuku!

Schooryard burries: GET HIM!

[Zorch]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Zorch

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.

Hai! That-ah the one! Chickenboy-san have 20% ownahship stake. So do othah 12 originah investahs! We-ah make mirrions!

[Zorch]

ORIGINAL: Chickenboy

ORIGINAL: Zorch

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

******************Small open-walled tent, Tern Island, French Frigate Shoals*************

Preposterousry Rich-rooking white-mens: Yes. We anticipated that but the public is very angry. After all, you stupid bastards started the whole thing. They will want blood. We have retained a private firm to negotiate reduced sentences for all but the worst offenders. As we are a capitalist country it is fee-based, of course.

Hai! That-ah the one! Chickenboy-san have 20% ownahship stake. So do othah 12 originah investahs! We-ah make mirrions!

The firm of Bialystok & Bloom were investment consultants.

[Cap Mandrake]

Twin Mark XXXVIII-D torpedoes forward

[Zorch]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Twin Mark XXXVIII-D torpedoes forward

With contact detonators - no misfires due to magnetic fields. They require regular maintenance by qualified personnel.

[Cap Mandrake]

Haha. Mandarake-san crean up desktop and find thing from 3 Earth years ago. Amazing thing everyone pretty much stirr arive* especiarry because everyone on pranet supposedarry die in 12 years. Onry thing different, everyone rive on same isrand Mistah Churchirr get in big trouburh if use rong pronun.

*******************Mandrake's Foreign Languages in Three Easy Steps (on-line version)************

English to Japanese:

1) Substitute "r" sound for "l", you know, say "rike" instead or "like"
2) Get rid of pronouns. Use nouns It's easy, just say "Mandrake-san" instead of "I" except put in your own name.
3) Pretty much get rid of articles too. This is especially convincing.
4) If you find an "r" sound at the "end" of a word it's more like "ah" instead. For example "officer" becomes "OF-ficah". If you are doing this in person nod your head slightly to confer deference.
5) Forget irregular English plural forms. Just put an "s" on end. "Women" becomes "womans"
6) Instead of "yes" say "HAI!" with emphatic head gesture.
7) Insert extra vowel sounds at the end of some hard consonants. Like this. "HAI! Mandrake-san understand-ah". I think just do this kind of randomly otherwise it sounds fake. It takes some practice.

English to Chinese (Mandarin):

1) Substitute "L" sound for "r" as in "Hully up" or "vely much". This is very confusing to beginners and I'm not sure I understand either considering the invaders of the Japans that displaced the Ainu probably came from China. Just trust me.
2) Try to add some "ey" endings to English words for authenticity, as in, "You like-ey flied lice"
3) Note that pronouns are OK. Don't ask me to explain this either.
4) Walk with really close together steps like you have the runs and you are trying to make the can without an accident.

Try these simple steps and you will gain the admiration of native speakers at every turn. You might even get a job at the UN*




* The publisher makes no warrants in this regard

*Except peopurh that become ancestahs

[zuluhour]

To much ahh burr at imperial HQ

[Kursk1943]

Only the buldge in the soldiers's trousers is missing...

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

To much ahh burr at imperial HQ

So-ah many questions!

1. Why woman in green (upper reft) stirr wearing pearr neckrace?

2. Why Japans-mens man with axe gesturing to zippah? Can't do both. Either cutty cutty neck of womans or else fuh... oh never mind.

3. Why Japans-mens in foreground have round-eye devir Thompson sub-ah-machine gun?

4. How Japans-mens capture so many rahngerie moders at same time?

[Lecivius]

This thread could get me fired [:D]

[Chickenboy]

ORIGINAL: Lecivius

Hai! This thread could get me ah fi-ahed [:D]

Chickenboy-san fix Lecivius post. Domo.

[zuluhour]

bump....

have you found someone to carry on here?

[BBfanboy]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

bump....

have you found someone to carry on here?

How about these guys?

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

bump....

have you found someone to carry on here?

No. [:D]

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: zuluhour

To much ahh burr at imperial HQ

Mandarake-san just-ah notice European-womans have big breastesses

[Cap Mandrake]

You know, that-ah rearry pretty sick picture. Protrayarh of Japan-mens compretearry racist.

[Kursk1943]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

You know, that-ah rearry pretty sick picture. Protrayarh of Japan-mens compretearry racist.

Not-a entirery! The guy on top to da left looking a-like Yul Blynner, famous cowboy actol.