Another War Story at Random

[larryfulkerson]

There was an occasion in 1970 at Bien Hoa when my squadron ( 19th TASS, OV-10's, A-37's, 0-2's ) was going to have a barbeque and needed some wood for fuel. I was only a 2-striper at the time so I got volunteered and escorted a crusty MSGT out to the bomb dump in one of the blue pickup's. We arrived at a healthy pool of 2X4's and were loading them when about 2 minutes later the MP's guarding the bomb dump arrived and a skinny 1-striper got out and demanded what the hell we thought we were doing and the MSGT without missing a beat replied that we were just unloading these boards onto the pile even though we didn't "have the required paperwork". The 1-striper told us to reload all the boards we had unloaded and be fast about it. We uploaded all of them and were escorted out of the bomb dump with a police escort. I was surprised he didn't turn on his little blue light.

[Zovs]

Larry that is hilarious!

Love how the MSGT swapped the truth out, that was some quick thinking lol...

[larryfulkerson]

Giant Killer: come to 5 clicks further east, strangle your parrot, your signal is buster, good copy? over.

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[larryfulkerson]

Sometime in late September of 1971 I found myself working the #3 gun position ( 40mm gun ) on an AC-130E/H Spectre gunship over the Ho Chi Minh trail in northern Laos at about 15,000 feet at about 03:28 in the early morning. I was one of the new guys on the crew and didn't completely know what my job was but I was learning fast. There was a 45 knot wind blowing past our positions in the plane because the rear ramp was down so the IR operator could lay down on his stomach with his upper torso overhanging the ramp so his view was unobstructed as he was the rear scanner. We had been patrolling up and down the trail looking for something, anything, to hit so we could call it a night. Finally the pilot called RTB and I didn't want to return to base with a live round in the chamber so I asked the flight engineer if I could "clear the gun". That wasn't something he had ever heard over the intercom and probably didn't know what I was asking. So he guessed: "sure." Ordinarily we would just cycle the gun twice to unload the round but I thought it was easier and faster to just fire the motherfucker. So I reached down and pulled the manual handle and the gun fired. The aircraft shook slightly and the pilot yelled out "WHAT WAS THAT?"
I told the flight engineer that "I just cleared the gun." And he relayed that to the pilot a millisecond later and the pilot said: "Well, I guess it hurt nothing down there." The other three gunners were astonished to find out that we could fire the gun ourselves and stored that away for a later day. I was admonished later to not do that again but it was delivered with a grin.

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[larryfulkerson]

That little black sphere on the image above near the nose landing gear is the BLACK CROW sensor that picks up the signal from spark plugs on truck engines. I would tell you how it works but then I'd have to kill you.

Actually, I have no idea either. But it's a game changer when you're trying to find targets under a thick jungle at night.

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[Lobster]

They pick up unintentional static from the spark plugs of, say, a truck engine. If an operator was really good he could let you know if the truck was idle or moving. I guess by the way the static signal came across. They got you in the general area. Good enough for bombs. Black box stuff I guess. That's all I know.

[larryfulkerson]

We ( as a crew ) had this little ceremony that happened during the pre-flight crew briefing. Sometimes we started off by introducing ourselves and our job on the plane and usually the Navigator would say something like:"I'm Sparks the Nav. And I could tell you how the black crow works but then I'd have to kill you." Whereupon everybody else would ball up a piece if paper and throw it at the Nav. He would throw up his hands to ward off the bombardment and it was all great fun.

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[kutaycosar]

Let me claim my spot right here in case there is more to come

[larryfulkerson]

Spot is deemed taken. Thanks for your input, I'm dying to hear your war story or whatever you have to share. I just thought of another couple of jokes:

I tried to talk to my son about Russian Roulette but it just went in one ear and out the other.

A dad joke is when he says he's going out for some smokes and you never see him again.

The Ukraine soldier shoots his NLAW at an enemy plane 1.2 km away hoping for a hit. He's astonished when he gets a hit and the plane is falling down in a ball of flame and he shouts: "Welcome to Ukraine."

The doctor is trying to explain the wife's condition to the husband: "Your wife has acute angina." The husband says: "Yeah, I know that, but what is her condition?"

The NTSB team is investifarting at the Miracle Mile cemetary 12 miles west of Waco, TX. and the lead team investigator is explaining to a reporter what the team has discovered about the crash of the Cessna 172 last night: "We've been at work since last night 4 hours after the crash and we've identified the body of the pilot of the plane but investigators have found additional bodies. Whether they were innocent bystanders is not known but we've found 8 bodies so far and we're still digging."

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