And now for something completely different

[bstarr]

For all the recent seriousness of the mod business, I think we could use a good laugh. Here’s a nonexistent mod with all the adjustments that no one wants.


Sub durability has been decreased to 1.

Every base and ship is now misspelled . . . except Oglala

Noumea is now a level 10 port

French Frigate Shoals is now a 10/10 base . . . with a shipyard just for the hell of it.

San Francisco is now a 1/1 Malaria base

IJN and IJA have 200 air replacements apiece

The Lancer has been beefed up to the equivalent of an F-16

There are now more versions of the Wildcat than there are flavors at Baskin Robins.

The B2 is an available build

The off-map base Antarctica has been added

Hong Kong now starts as a Japanese base (to hell with it)

Macarthur now commands every allied HQ in the game . . . and a few Japanese HQs to boot.

The Combined fleet is now lead by a “WO 0/0”

B-29s can be based on carriers

There are 50 atomic bombs in the allied starting pool

Japan gets one Oscar . . . and it sucks.

Japanese PBs are no longer APDs or DEs, they’ve been changed to more useless Japanese CVEs.

Canada is now represented by a single base called “The 51st state”

The Los Angeles base has been changed to “Hollywood”

John F Kennedy now commands a new aircraft carrier – the “Ronald Reagan” (that's right, I managed to piss off both sides!)

Macarthur now commands PT109 (busy man, that Macarthur)

The Ki-15 has been added

. . . so has the Sopwith Pup

LCUs not only suffer from Malaria in small bases, but now if the base is too big they take damage from Herpes (reckon I should change San Fran back to a 10/10?)

The 33rd and 55th Jap divisions now begin the game in Burma (to hell with it, again)

Several Chinese units begin the game in Hanoi (ditto)

The 2nd Marine Division now enters the game in ’44 with only two squads undamaged.

The AVG is now immune to all Japanese bullets

The Zero sucks

Nate kicks ass

German U-boats have been added to the Australian fleet commanded by Chinese officers (wearing New Zealander britches)

The ship art will be done in “Picasso-grey”

The “midget sub” device has been added for the Japanese

. . . the “circus midget” device has been added for the allies

Oi has been given a consonant or two.

The London upgrades to a Japanese AG

Memberships for the “team” will be available on EBay

And last, but not least -
There is no ship named “Enterprise” (to hell with you Trekies)


Me and my partners (invisible friends who my shrink says don’t exist) are somewhat open to anyone’s input.
bs

[33Vyper]

giggle....snicker....i need a drink to really enjoy this thread

okay....much better

[Tristanjohn]

That wasn't all bad. [:D]

[bstarr]

I will also be doing the side art. Here's an example.

[Lemurs!]

Bstarr,

That was awesome!

"Japanese PBs are no longer APDs or DEs, they’ve been changed to more useless Japanese CVEs. "

That cracked me up! gee, i don't know why...

Mike

[bstarr]

Thanks, Mike! I figured we could all use a good laugh. Hell, I've even been a little up tight myself lately and I'm just a playtester.

[Jo van der Pluym]

ORIGINAL: bstarr

For all the recent seriousness of the mod business, I think we could use a good laugh. Here’s a nonexistent mod with all the adjustments that no one wants.

And why not give every Japanese warship Radar and Deathray.

And the Allieds Godzilla[:D]

[Skyros]

I always thought Godzilla was the Japanese way of explaining the destruction of their cities without admitting they lost the war[;)]

ORIGINAL: Jo van der Pluym

ORIGINAL: bstarr

For all the recent seriousness of the mod business, I think we could use a good laugh. Here’s a nonexistent mod with all the adjustments that no one wants.

And why not give every Japanese warship Radar and Deathray.

And the Allieds Godzilla[:D]

[pasternakski]

Boy, us Japanese fanboys have the perfect answer to your Allied fanboy mod, boy:

[bstarr]

LOFingL
Love that Zero!

That's great. Now we just need the stats on Godzilla. Would he be a device or an LCU?

Do we need Mothra as well?

[jcjordan]

Hey I have a request for a ship to be included in the OOB as Don left it out of the CHS [:(], forget it's name offhand but it was a huge CV made of ice large enough to operate B29's off of [:D]

[rhohltjr]

ORIGINAL: pasternakski

Boy, us Japanese fanboys have the perfect answer to your Allied fanboy mod, boy:

I can tell right away.... this would face all sorts of extreme problems with export licenses.
The Japanese would not get full blown Saturn V engines. No way. [:-]