Comrade Stalin here, if your wondering how my glorious Red Army under the COUGH COUGH inspiring leadership COUGH COUGH of my Generals is progressing on the Battle Front in The Great Patriotic War Against The Fascists is going then your in the dark as much as I am.
So like any good Dictator would do I sent my spies out to see how COUGH COUGH My best Generals COUGH COUGH were conducting the war effort to defend The Motherland were doing.
Sadly I have to say that the Motherland is in dire straits if I am to believe my NKVD spies.
Here is what they reported to me including incriminating photos yesterday.
06 hundred hours my 3 top Theatre Commanders have a high level meeting, from left to right Comrade Generals @Bread ( centre ) @Fracas ( South ) and @ IGB ( North )
No this is not to discuss the current military situation on the battle field and what strategies are needed to defeat the enemy, in fact they were discussing where they wanted to go for breakfast and what they felt like eating !!!
This so called high level meeting was interrupted by the enemy launching a all out Offensive against our lines and breaking through.
Apparently they decided to skip breakfast as The Fascists air force bombed the main Field Kitchen Unit, some new enemy Air Force General Count Von @HLYA has decided to starve my Generals to death.
010 hundred hours another high level meeting, this time The STAVKA Chief is present, Comrade General @Beethoven1.
Again one would think that with the current crisis of the German breakthrough would be a high priority, my Generals first train of thought would be how to stop the enemy advancing deeper into the Motherland.
But no its not, note the two folders full of reports, one would think that under the grave circumstances this vital intel would be the first thing looked at alas no on top of the folders is a menu of a diner in occupied Minsk that serves " Draniki " ( potato and onion pancakes ). My spies say that my Generals were going to drive there for LUNCH !!!!
Incredible to believe this !!
011 Hundred hours the insanity continues
In the midst of a life and death struggle for the survival of our Nation against a relentless enemy The STAVKA Chief briefs his staff on where they need to take him and his 3 cohorts for lunch, note 2 things in this photo taken by one of my spies.
Firstly Comrade General @Beethoven1 the man I put in charge to lead my Armies to victory is pointing on the map note the confusing looks on his staffs faces, and wait for this ! you wont believe it, a MAP of a small bed and breakfast diner in the middle of The AMERICAN STATE OF IDAHO !!!!!
The man must be blind how do you not realise your looking at a map of a State in the USA and not The Soviet Union
How did this General get missed in the Great Purge.
Second thing of interest notice the civilian witnessing this absurdity, another of my spies acting as a civil liaison for the government, cant believe what he is witnessing and is trying to hide a " FACE PALM " movement.
013 hundred Hours after finally realising that the restaurant at Minsk is behind enemy lines.
Comrade General @Beethoven1 decides to take decisive action at this time of crisis for our Nation,
And tries to ring the Diner for takeaway
" SIGH " As a dictator one should have them replaced and well a number of other things done to them comes to mind but sadly however these are the best I have got, the list does not get any better.
The Motherland is DOOMED



















































































