A true story

M4Jess · Post by **M4Jess** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:01 am

So this bad ass M4A3 Easy 8 Named “8 BALL” is parked in this blown down stone house somewhere in a burnt out village. The commander Sgt. Jess “da Mess” Housley
Is enjoying a ration of peaches and some sort of pressed meat, looking over the 12 or so dead Germans he just ran down and blew away with his 50 cal. The rest of his crew was trying to catch up on some shuteye when suddenly a German Tiger turns the corner about a block away heading right for him. “Traverse Right!!” “FIRE!!” The solid diamond shell hit the Tiger right in the hull front and as usual passed right through the thin hide of the Tiger as well as driver. As the turret flew through the air (about 40 feet from the body) Sgt. Jess took another bite of his meat mater and scratched another kill mark on his long 76mm gun barrel, “Lets see, that makes 345 this month……………

:rolleyes:

SeppDietrich · Post by **SeppDietrich** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:12 am

A sniper bullet hits the ration, before he can eat it. He dies of starvation, and over complicated means to achieving modest ends is again satisfied.

rlc27 · Post by **rlc27** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:13 am

I guess you didn't hear that the US Army was experimenting with Gauss guns and tactical nukes during World War II.

Or perhaps your guys happened to cross the path of a Paper Tiger, and your Easy Eight was armed with the optional Scissors Cannon. Watch out for German tanks armed with Rock Launchers!

:p :rolleyes:

M4Jess · Post by **M4Jess** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 12:57 am

As Sgt. Jess falls into the interior of “8 Ball” his crew grabs him and injects him with a large dose of vitamin C, as he comes to the unmistakable sound of a large armored formation can be heard in the distance, because the sound was not unlike the sound of a small round car in desperate need of a oil change, Sgt. Jess knew they were Germans.
“Boys! Load another 50 round clip of diamond shot in the old 76! As the 1st Mk12 Jumbo Tiger turned the corner, it was hit with a short burst of 76mm diamond shot, 3 of the rounds pass right through the Jumbo Tiger and into the following three, “4 kills boys..now pass the beer”……..

Belisarius · Post by **Belisarius** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:07 am

I'm mentally damaged by this forum...

In any other forum - any! - I wouldn't have taken notice of a subject like that. But for this one. Heh, for a second I actually expected something interesting but I guess I should have looked more closely at who's posting (no offense, M4

)

SeppDietrich · Post by **SeppDietrich** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:13 am

Belisarius gets run down by his own horde of Cataphracts. Was his poor eyesight to blame? Many historians think so, and therefore, Cataracts somewhat derive their name from that sultan of swing, Belisarius and his crazy crazy armored horsemen.

All of the sudden, Goebbels comes up in his crazy pen tank that the British stole the plans for and made into some silly cariacture, and proceeds to ink all of the crew's eyeballs, thereby blinding their vision. Game. Set. Match.

Don Doom · Post by **Don Doom** » Thu Mar 21, 2002 1:19 am

Like leave the garage door open when the car was running.

:p :p :p

:rolleyes:

Kanon Fodder · Post by **Kanon Fodder** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 1:23 am

Looks to me like someone has been reading his old "G.I.Combat" or "Our Army at War" comics ...

Don Doom · Post by **Don Doom** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 3:09 am

Originally posted by Kanon Fodder
Looks to me like someone has been reading his old "G.I.Combat" or "Our Army at War" comics ...

Most likly Stg Rock

panda124c · Post by **panda124c** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 6:54 am

Sounds like a very bad case of combat fatigue. Try a little R&R in the Swiss Alps.

M4Jess · Post by **M4Jess** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 8:06 pm

DC Comics, "The Haunted Tank"

Larry Holt · Post by **Larry Holt** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 9:12 pm

OK, I've posted this before but this REALLy is true, I read it in the Army Times. An American officer is leading a roadblock built around a small ATG (I forget the mm of the gun). A line of panthers and mech inf approaches on a road through a village. The lead panter fires and kills all the crew except the officer. He gets up, mans the ATG and gives the lead Panther a mobility kill which effectively blocks the other tanks. The GE inf start firing and he takes 7 hits. He pulls himself through a window and out into a waiting jeep. Despite both legs being broken, he drives to HQ (remember jeeps are manual clutch transmissions) and tells them about the column. The column is hit by aircraft and destroyed, the officer gets a silver star.

challenge · Post by **challenge** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 9:42 pm

What's the difference between a war story and a fairy tale?

A fairy tale starts "Once upon a time" and the war story starts, "This is no s***!"

No offense guys, these really are amazing tales.

Kanon Fodder · Post by **Kanon Fodder** » Fri Mar 22, 2002 9:43 pm

Originally posted by M4 Jess
DC Comics, "The Haunted Tank"

The Haunted Tank was in "G.I. Combat"
:p

M4Jess · Post by **M4Jess** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 2:05 am

Check this out!

LOL

Don Doom · Post by **Don Doom** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 3:08 am

OK M4 just what are you on, you know you have that picture is backwards the tiger is on the left and the m4 is on the right.

:p

ps did you get the message I sent.?

Larry Holt · Post by **Larry Holt** » Sat Mar 23, 2002 7:36 am

Here is another true one: winter 41/42. GE rgt is being bombed each night which is really annoying them. They go out and put some lanterns in an open area which does divert the SO aircraft but they have to keep getting more lanterns. DIV says that their lantern expenditure is too high and cuts them off. Next night DIV CDR's billets are bombed. Next day they get as many lanterns as they want. Source DA PAM on small unit tactics in Russia.

A true story

A true story

When out of nowhere...

A true story...

And then...

I think yall Forgot to do something.

check this out.