Operation: Hillbilly Showdown (VikingNo2 vs. Irinami)

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Sun Nov 10, 2002 4:13 am

Deep in the anals of history (just beyond the colon) was an operation between the United Sheep Molesters Corps and the Australian Roorapers Regiment. Ostensibly a training operation, this battle became a matter of pride. For the First Dixie Company, the idea that there could be redder necks than theirs was an affront to their Southern Pride.

What followed was a day of drunken rowdiness and chaos. Not even the soldiers involved could remember it, but they all agreed that it was a good time. Operation Hillbilly Showdown Two was to involve a brand-new never-used oil tanker filled with beer, but not only could the two nations not agree on which brand, but--thankfully for respectable Military History--World War II arose.

This is the story of the Hillbilly Showdown. XD

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Sun Nov 10, 2002 11:12 am

Here you go

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Sun Nov 10, 2002 11:26 pm

Allrighty, I believe I've got it all set.

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Mon Nov 11, 2002 9:43 am

Creeping through the woods;)

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Mon Nov 11, 2002 8:04 pm

The Ozzie jungle is like a Louisiana swamp, hot and sticky as a mushroom in the microwave...

Sergeant Holmes: Psst... Corporal... check it out.
Corporal Schmidt: Ha-yuhl!! It's wun o' dem dar cars what whith th' steerin' wheel owun th' wrong si-yud!!
Sergeant Holmes: ... Ayup. I done gots an ide-er.

Soldiers tromp through the trees. Then suddenly...

BANG BANG BLAMMO BANG BANG!!!

Sergeant Holmes: *overly loud, approaching the Ozzie car* Whell HA-YUL!! Schmittie y'all done dangol' blind bastidge!! *beating Schmidt over the head with his cap* You all done shot out the windows awn these he-yuh Austro-aliens' car!

Corporal Schmidt: *cowering over under Holmes' blows, Schmidt secretly fiddles with a grenade and a tin can*

Australian Driver: *dazed, a bit bloody* ... puh... you all... shot our sni... er... our hunting buddy... !

Sergeant Holmes: Schmittie yee-ew dumbol' bastidge! Now y'all be na-ice an' offer this he-yah mayun a bee-yer.

Corporal Schmidt: *obediently hands over a tin can with a makeshift label, palming the pin to a grenade* Y-ya-yuss sir! Here y'all done go!

Australian Driver: *lifts the can up to his lips* Roight nice of y'all...

Sergeant Holmes and Corporal Schmidt: *guffaw and hit the dirt as the Ozzie car goes KABLOOIE!!!!*

...

Cpt. Hank Hill: *puts down the radio* Hehh hehh hehh... Whell I'll be. Those Australians like beer just as much as we do. *sighs* But... it won't be this easy anymore. *picks up radio again* Lieutenant Boomhauer, I need you to deploy a... a nickel defense. Hehh hehh hehh...

Lt. Boomhauer: Yomanyuppawilladangol'... yo.

1 Ozzie car and 1 Ozzie sniper down. USMC gets an early success in the deep south of the battlefield.

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Mon Nov 11, 2002 9:58 pm

Sir, Sir our beer truck has been blown up ! Its was on its way to replinish supplys, real beer to not that Fosters stuff that we sell to the Amercians.................

In the word of a great warrior

" Of course you know this meens war "
Bugs Bunny

No enemy sighted the attempted to run a snipe behind enemy lines failed:(

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Tue Nov 12, 2002 4:30 am

Squeak squeak! Sneak sneak! Guzzle guzzle!

Capt. Pixel · Post by **Capt. Pixel** » Tue Nov 12, 2002 9:01 am

Do you guys have those corrugated-armor tractors with the gunner's mattress to lay on the hood? Australia's own 'home-grown' tank.

Or is it just pick-em-ups with rollbars?

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Tue Nov 12, 2002 1:31 pm

here you go not much I lost a scout team

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 4:24 am

Sgt. Holmes and Cpl. Schmidt are tromping through the countryside. "We're done fay-mous! We're done fay-mous! We're done WAUGH!!!"

Ozzie 20mm Crew snickers softly, watching the two dimwits waltz right into their O-ring. With but a small barrage, the splatter Cpl. Schmidt all over Sgt. Holmes. As the remaining Marine (Holmes) blows smoke, the 20mm crew wonders... "Where's our beer?"

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 9:45 am

Sgt Holems, is now dead but he put up a fight

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 6:47 pm

Holy crap! I named him after the right person, 'cause he had balls like a porn star!

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 8:15 pm

2Lt. Bill Doetrieve advances a squad up the hill... but, cowardly, they turn tail and run at the first spurt of SMG fire from a scout team. (These men will survive the war, but become ashamed when their sons flee to Canada in 1968.) 2Lt Bill Doetrieve advances himself and his security element up the hill, coming under fire... "Just a liiiittle off the top," he drawls as his desk-jockeys blast the two Ozzie scouts with Tommygun fire. Their place has been marked on the map for Graves Registry.

A brave scout team, reinforced by a drunken infantry squad, charge up to the Lloyd carrier that has been harassing a far-off BAR weapons squad. After a brief but fierce firefight the Lloyd still runs... but the HQ that was in it has been scared off, and the scouts covering it's advance have been annihilated.

More brave scouts and a BAR squad scare off an ANZAC infantry squad and, despite a hard-faught attempt which annihilates the scout team, fail to dislodge the sniper attached to the ANZAC squad.

It is time, and the USMC makes their move. Scouts advance across the battlefield, taking chances which get them killed in too many instances. An ANZAC engineer squad and their scouts utterly disembowel two USMC scout teams in the north. 3" mortars hit near to our soldiers, but most hit positions which have been evacuated.

The battlefield is getting bloody.

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 9:08 pm

The Marines have the Aussies out gunned

Many of my forces running:(

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Wed Nov 13, 2002 9:56 pm

Sgt. Bobby and his pyromaniacal Marines charge up the hill and capture a V-hex. Two men die when their collection of Zippo lighters are touched off by ANZAC fire... but through bullets and grenades, Bobby's Boys set fire to the jungle underbrush, forcing those whacky Ozzies off their hilltop.

One of Boomhauer's squads marches up to an Australian Deuce and a Half. "Y'all done wanna' show me a licence an' registration fer that thar truck?" the leading Corporal asks the Ozzies, who reply with a very small copy of such. .455 inches, to be exact. The rest of the squad proceeds to respond in typical Texas fashion by blowing the crap out of the truck.

The ANZAC front is moving slowly back... though that $#&%)^ Lloyd carrier has resisted all attempts to spike it's tires. Scouts still probe the enemy line, though if I lose many more there won't be any more probing unless aliens land.

ANZAC mortars are becoming more accurate, for example detonating a moonshine keg that a BAR, Inf, and Scout squad are all sharing atop the primary hill of battle. Luckily it had already been tapped dry by the soldiers.

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Thu Nov 14, 2002 8:34 am

the files have different Time stamps try and resend

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Fri Nov 15, 2002 6:43 am

Here's the resend, but I think I buggered it up. I think I know how, too--was careless in playing around with a .zip file. I may have to play that turn over again.

VikingNo2 · Post by **VikingNo2** » Fri Nov 15, 2002 9:30 am

you will have to play it again I believe, the same problem with this one:(

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Sat Nov 16, 2002 7:52 am

Will replay this weekend; my plate's full with RL right now.

Irinami · Post by **Irinami** » Sun Nov 17, 2002 8:44 pm

Okay, turn played pretty much like the last one, with nearly identical results. What can I say, I'm consistent.

I double-checked and unzipped the files, then tried to play. The only problems were the usual OOB security problems. Here's hoping... ^^

Operation: Hillbilly Showdown (VikingNo2 vs. Irinami)

Operation: Hillbilly Showdown (VikingNo2 vs. Irinami)

Crap...