need advice BAD

[marky]

my past has cum bak to bite me in the @$$

if u go bak a few weeks ull see a post called Episode 7 return of the marky

in that post i explain why i left gaming back in february

long story short the ex of my ex came online and told me that she is pregnant with a guy shes known 5 MONTHS, no that is NOT a typo

she left me for him after 2 and a half years and then a week later jumped into bed with him

i have saved the conversations, including the 1s that she admitted she was a druggie a smoker and a drinker

i have proof shes an unfit and immature parent and i think i should tell social services and stop her from having that child herself

if i dont at least try i honestly dont know if i can live with myself, as i feel responsible for this whole situation

RevRick if ur out ther i need to talk to u, PLEASE

[Gem35]

who what where?? [&:]

[marky]

a long time ago in a thread far far away......


due to a series of events in my life, i retired from gaming a while ago

im sure youre all still dying to know what the explanation is.... maybe... i dunno...



anyway....

a short time before i left, i was having problems in my relationship...
long story short, my gf of 2 years and 5 months left me on our anniversary for a guy she had known about 2 weeks. less than 2 weeks after that she jumped into bed with the guy and gave him her virginity after promising we would lose it to each other, because she was naive and stupid enuff to fall for everything he did.

yes u heard me right i m a virgin and i admit it, and im VERY glad i didnt lose it to her and you will see why...

obviously this screwed me up very badly, and for a while, i didnt care about anything, and i came closer to suicide than i ever have before.

i found out that she didnt give a frak about me and that she had been cheating over and over and in general "spreading" for random guys and getting drunk and in general being a slu*

this of course shocked and changed me, and alot of things have happened over the last 3 months

needless to say the last 3 months have been the longest, hardest and most painful in my life, and as i said i came damn close to ending my life.

somehow i muddled through with the help of some friends, and family

and knowing wat she had been up to behind my back helped in a strange way.

and theres alot more to say to try and explain it but its not really possible without a very long post here, and its not really explainable unless uve been spending time with me over the last few months, but suffice it to say she betrayed me in the worst possible way, broke my heart and screwed me up bad, which i still am.

i m alot better than i was before, but of course i will never be the same man i was.

so, now im a bit better, and ready to cum back to gaming

i originally thot that the gaming, and a cpl other things had driven her to make the choices she made, but i realized that it wasnt my fault, it was hers, she made the choices and she has to live with the consequences... i do not...

plus ive met up with an old female friend, which in the future may turn into sumthing , but for now i m single, in order to do sum thinking, relaxing, vacationing, soul searching, and to do sum damage control before i m ready for another relationship, and of course, to try and mend wat if left of my broken heart

plus then on top of that i had a massive virus invasion, which forced me to wipe the hard drive, and start fresh, which is essentially copmplete...

long story short, the slu& can die a slow and painful death and burn in hell for all eternity

BTW, does any1 have a punching bag or sumthing that i can take sum rage out on?.......

so...


life goes on....

[Tankerace]

ORIGINAL: marky

if i dont at least try i honestly dont know if i can live with myself, as i feel responsible for this whole situation

I think with you saying that, you know what you need to do. You aren't responsible, but should she have the child, and should something happen to said child, you will probably blame yourself. I would go to social services, and tell somebody. Granted, nothing may happen with it, but should (if, and I mean if) something happen to the child after its born, you can at least say you tried.

As Moliere once said, "It is not only what we do, but also what we do not do, for which we are accountable."

[marky]

but i am responsible

i knew a lomng time ago she needed therapy for things

i didnt force her to get therapy

and it all led here

its my fault

[Tankerace]

I doubt that.

You can't make her take therapy, you can't make her change. Such is both the boon and the curse of humanity, free will. You can't do it for her, you can't make her do it. You can point her in the right direction, but that is about as much as you can do.

[marky]

and wat she did to me

thers just no word to describe it except EVIL

and i dont mean to b melodramatic but ive got 99 sys and 99 float damage and i dont know if thers a shipyard good enuff to fix me

[riley555a]

Don't get social services involved just to get revenge on her. Are you doing it for the unborn child or just for revenge because of her cheating? If the motive is revenge don't do it.

If she truly is an unfit parent the kid will eventually be taken away once he/she goes to school. Trust me, the teachers will know if a 5 year old kid comes from a horrible home and they'll call social services. (if there aren't any clear signs, which there will be, the kid will overtalk anyways, you know how kids that age are).

But I really don't think you wanna get social services involved. They're a pain in the a$$ and you can even end up having to go to court and all that bullsh*t, it just isn't worth it if you only want revenge on some wh0re.

Don't worry, she'll get hers. Just wait it out she WILL get hers, you'll see. She's obviously a whore and a lying, cheating b*tch. Everyone she hooks up with will be throwing her out and even if some guy ends up deciding to keep her a$$ around he'll be some low life she'll always be fighting with.

As for this " if i dont at least try i honestly dont know if i can live with myself, as i feel responsible for this whole situation" you didn't do a damn thing wrong. This isn't your fault, it's obviously her fault. Look at how irresponsible and immature she is. But there's a good chance she'll clean up once that baby comes. I've known a few girls in high school just like the one you described who got knocked up like that because they were sleeping around, doing lots of drugs etc and they were in a constant downward spiral. But once the baby came they cleaned up their acts.

I've wrote my opnion based on at least 30 other similiar situations i've seen.

[marky]

its not just revenge

i admit it

revenge HAS a part in it

but its also right and wrong good and evil

wat shes doing is wrong, and she is evil

and evil must be opposed as we all know

[riley555a]

I'm just curious, how much is she taking substances and smoking? I'm just saying don't beat yourself up over this. It isn't your fault.

[marky]

alot

shes definitely an alcoholic

and shes a smoker, she also has asthma

and i know shes smoked weed

[riley555a]

If you wanna do something good for the unborn child go all out. No one can stop you. Well since she's drinking alot, call social services immediatly. I'll be damned if you don't. It's utter bullsh*t the kid should have to pay because she's an irresponsible b*tch with emotional problems and a sick mind. The last thing we need in this world is another broken kid with mental disabilities and a poor mother. Like I said there's a good chance she'll clean up after the kid is born. But in the meantime you should save that kid from it's alcoholic mother.

[riley555a]

Also. She'll most likely be able to get the kid back after it's born. She'll just have to go through alot of court and show she's cleaned up and ready to bear the responsibility.

[jwilkerson]

ORIGINAL: marky

but i am responsible

i knew a lomng time ago she needed therapy for things

i didnt force her to get therapy

and it all led here

its my fault

My wife is a psychiatrist - if she was responding ( instead of myself ) she would encourage you to see a counselor ( a mental health professional ... aka get therapy ) not because there is anything wrong with you - but to help you cope. If you have a local RevRick they can help too - just another kind of counselling - but do for yourself what you didn't do for "her" ( really for you too ). You don't need therapy "for things" but just to help you cope and sort out what to do. The Mental Health Profession exists in part for this purpose and they would much prefer heading off a problem, than picking up the pieces. And BTW she is also to blame - you can't blame yourself solely for the actions of others, nope you can't do it.

Sorry, you're going through this - most of us who are older ( I hit the big 50 this year ) have been through at least something similar at some point - so we can empathise.

But go see someone please, ASAP ! And if you really don't know what to do - and are in emergency - call 911 that what it is for ( my wife the psychiatrist would tell you this ).

[riley555a]

I agree with jwilkerson. I think first you should help the kid. If you don't feel better after that just go to therapy. It doesn't label you as anything bad. You won't be forced to do anything. Even if you just wan't someone to talk to you can go there and it really helps.

[marky]

i will call social services

and her parents

but as for therapy, i think i may be beyond saving mate

[jwilkerson]

ORIGINAL: marky

i will call social services

and her parents

but as for therapy, i think i may be beyond saving mate

You're reaching out => you're not beyond saving. If you're in crisis, call 911, please !

[marky]

ive been in crises for 5 months

how can 911 possibly help besides committing me to a mental hospital and desroying wats left of my life and my futre? and my career that hasnt even STARTED?

[riley555a]

ORIGINAL: marky

i will call social services

and her parents

but as for therapy, i think i may be beyond saving mate

No one is beyond saving. Trust me. I know what you're going through. I've had my share of extreme depression over such issues. When I was younger, about 15 my mother became an alcoholic for a year. She went out of her way to neglect her family and had a COMPLETE disregard for others. It got to the point where I hated her and I almost became suicidal because I thought it was my fault and I truly believed she hated me. I started doing alot of drugs and drinking. But we worked things out. I also had an issue with a girlfriend. We were in love, then one day the sh*t just hit the fan. She found out her dad was cheating on her mom and going to strip clubs and they divorced. A week later her grandma whom she was really close to and absolutely adored died. So she became an alcoholic and started doing hard drugs, she wasn't herself at all anymore after that. I can go on and on....

I've had my share of substance abuse with myself and the people around me. I know the extreme pain it can cause. You aren't alone dude. I went to therapy just for someone to talk to and vent with. Frankly, it probably saved my life. Yout gotta find the right therapist. Some of them aren't that good and seem to be only motivated by money. And some of them don't seem to really have personal care for their patients, all they do is follow protocal so they don't make you feel like special like they should IMO.

[marky]

i dont know wat to do

feels as though im cursed and sum1 or sumthing is piling more and more weight on my shoulders to see how much i can take and i cant take anymore