Reason to laugh

[Grand_Armee]

I had a belly laugh at the recent conclusion of my second war with Spain. Currently there are 51 months left in the game. 1796 scenario.

I had worked hard to stay out of the "bad boy" position by trailing Britain and Austria. A (Austria) and B (Britain) had vied for the position for a long time before A finally succumbed to the weight of so many enemies.

Finally, B was at the top and at war with everyone except me. After losing a few protectorates, B slipped from that position and I went to the top...so she DOW'd me. Spain then DOW'd me. Spain was also at war with everyone else.

So, here I am at war with 2 powers who were at war with everyone else.

B had steadily cleared the seas of all ships. She'd also built many more but they were sitting in London while two weakened fleets roamed the seas. Two empty fleets sat at Kent and Normandy. I'd been steadily building a handy 2-fleet navy of entirely heavy ships.

My first task was to get rid of the two B fleets. Easily done because they were both at less than half strength and had weaker ships than my heavies. My task was made easier because one fleet was in the North Sea, and the other in the Med....no B player in his right mind would let this happen.

Once I took Madrid, Spain surrendered to everyone but me and B. Spain looked like a quilt with only 4 of her original provinces plus Majorca. She also had 2 provinces in Italy and 29 colonies.

Once Spain surrendered, I took those two Italians and the colonies for my own. Time to deal with England!

Sealowe 1815! I had a specially built army for the task. One corps of Gardes. One corps of Cavalry, and one corps of cannons and highly disciplined Hessians. Unfortunately Herr Blucher had been killed in an earlier war with Austria while leading a cavalry charge, so HM decided he'd do the deed.

Russia had sent two huge armies to park in my Greek Provinces...apparently she wanted war with me. Two wars with Turkey had seen me take many provinces from her and give them to Austria or France to keep them going. Those Turks still like to come park in Berlin and starve to death.

Anyway...everyone seems to want war with me and seems incapable. France is the only natiuon not enroaching my borders. Heh, but she must have 500,000 men sitting in British Normandy looking for a rowboat.

I look at my diplomacy screen and now see why Europe is so eerily quiet. B is at war with everyone, and everyone is at war with B. Now, I laugh...because I know that as long as I don't load up for Seelowe, I won't have to fight anyone.

B won't accept an offer of ceasefire from the "Badboy", and nobody but me has a troop carrier that can reach a foreign shore. Nice feature!