You? A movie director?

wulfir · Post by **wulfir** » Mon Jan 14, 2002 10:44 pm

Congratulations, friend!

You have been chosen to produce and direct the next WWII movie! Yes, we originally wanted Steven Spielberg - but he is down with the flu so I guess will have to make do with you.

Anyway, they tell me you are a big shot at WWII history so the investors and all have complete confidence in you. Did I mention the budget, well it's going to make `Titanic´ seem like a B-horror movie from the early eighties.

Now the big questions are; what kind of WWII movie is it going to be? What is it going to be focused on? And who does the female part for the love story?

You are the boss - every choice is yours to make. What's it gonna be?

---------------
Fine-print: This is a fantasy. 1. Wulfir does not claim to have thought up this idea on his own it, is stolen from someone brighter. 2. You have not actually been selected to produce and direct a new movie, at least not as far as I know. 3. You can always dream but the question is: can you tear yourself from SPWaW long enough to post a reply?
---------------

asgrrr · Post by **asgrrr** » Mon Jan 14, 2002 10:50 pm

Stalingrad, but this time we are going to do it properly. Barbara Streisand will play the leading female role, but she will be killed during a brief break in the opening credits.

Dan Bozza · Post by **Dan Bozza** » Mon Jan 14, 2002 11:25 pm

Are you sure you can't kill her off during the previews? And in her death throes she can inadvertantly gun down Jane Fonda.

[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: Boz ]</p>

Grumble · Post by **Grumble** » Mon Jan 14, 2002 11:27 pm

Discussed some of these issues, when I saw that a bio-pic on Marshal Mannerheim might be headed for production.
Lead: Fredde Prinze Jr as the young Mannerheim (military academy through his first cavalry assignment), Maybe Michael Douglas/Martin Sheen as the Winter War Marshal. (Advantage of Martin Sheen is we can get Charly Sheen to play the younger Mannerheim. Probably get Emilio Estevez thrown for free [could play a cousin]).

Female Lead (gotta have one): Britney Spears as Mrs Mannerheim or Lotta Svard. Demi Moore might work as Mrs Mannerheim and we could have hints of a Lesbian relationship between her and Lotta. (Ned to grab the PR headlines and keep it PG-13 for demographics)

Finnish General Staff: N'Sync
General Talavela: Brendon Fraser
On the Russian side, Ed Harris as Voroshilov, Jason Robards as Stalin, Sarah Michele Gellar as Stalin's Daughter.

Soundtrack: Mariah Carey does the opening theme, with Britney and N'Sync doing the closer. Incidental music by Leningrad Cowboys....
Think we can bring this in for under $200Million

asgrrr · Post by **asgrrr** » Mon Jan 14, 2002 11:43 pm

Originally posted by Grumble:

Jason Robards as Stalin,

Jason Robards is dead, dude. If you dig him up you won't have to pay him ,bringing the cost down, but how about John Travolta?

Grumble · Post by **Grumble** » Mon Jan 14, 2002 11:55 pm

I thought he might be, too bad.
Travolta's a good call. Given the tailspin his career's been in post-Get Shorty, we might get a bargain here. Also, Tom Sizemore as a generic "Soviet Commander" might work-he's up for just about any war movie...

challenge · Post by **challenge** » Tue Jan 15, 2002 7:53 pm

Tom Hanks might be up for it. He's really getting into WWII flicks these days.

asgrrr · Post by **asgrrr** » Tue Jan 15, 2002 8:13 pm

Originally posted by Challenge:
Tom Hanks might be up for it. He's really getting into WWII flicks these days.

He has played Stalin before, and it wasn't all too convincing. Rod Steiger might be the man for the job, if he was younger.

rlc27 · Post by **rlc27** » Wed Jan 16, 2002 12:15 am

A proper filming of part of the Battle of the Bulge, focusing on Kampfgruppe Peiper as the bad guys.

Ed Harris as Peiper, looking all cold and professional. Tom Hanks as the earnest faced American colonel holding the Belgian town across the river; Willem Dafoe as a strung out captain who drinks too much and in a fit of desperation ends up calling artillery down on his own position, stopping the German onrush but immolating himself and his men. Adam Sandler as the comic relief, probably a minstrel-type figure who sings a song to the men gathered miserably around the Christmas Turkey (get it?). He and Robin Williams play off each other--Williams is a grisled old sergeant who is expert at boosting the morale of his troops by telling jokes on the radio.

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are both young, friends-cum-rival lieutenants who grew up in the same neighborhood in Boston and attended West Point together (what else?). One of them ends up getting killed tragically, and the other gets shrapnel in his bum and thus also gets Liv Tyler, a nurse in the local aid station, who had formerly been the fiance with the guy who got killed. Hey, wait a minute?! Haven't we seen this before?

Anthony Hopkins as Hitler, ranting and insisting on the Big Solution. "Patton? I'll eat his liver with a nice chianti." The current-day chubby Mark Hamill as Adolf Galland. "You are all responsible for staying with your wingmen."

Hmm, maybe Robert Dinero as Sepp Dietrich. Yeah! He's got the whole calm demeanor-hair trigger temper-brutality thing going on that befits an SS man like Dietrich. "You lookin' at me?"

All the tanks, artillery pieces, airplanes are authentic, or at least convincing mockups--none of this using surplus US howitzers as German artillery pieces. Filmed on site in the Ardennes, as close as possible to where the actual battles took place. An 8 week boot camp for all the actors who are going to be in it.

<img src="biggrin.gif" border="0">

Del · Post by **Del** » Wed Jan 16, 2002 12:53 am

How about one about the action leading up to and during the Petsamo bridge fighting? It has all the elements of a great movie. Action, comedy, tragedy, suspence, heros, beautiful Italian women and pompus British asses. The fighting in and around the vinyards alone would be a great series of scenes. And then there's the Brit airborne trying to hold out for relief on the fortified hill. The comedy and tragedy of the exploits of the First airborne is a great read. Tea with the Eyeties and driving right across the bridge with the guards looking on in comandeered civilian autos. A battlion of Germans sneaking right under the Brit's noses at night to get to the bridge. Really, this would make and extremely sad/funny/horiffic movie. Don't know why it hasn't been done.

All I ask is you throw in Sophia Lauren and Rachael Welch for some of the takes.