ANZAC vs Japan 1940
This is a smaller fight situation with less troops on each side than usual. I am commanding the Aussies and New Zealanders against the Japanese invaders in Southeast Asia.
First lets have a look at a powerful piece of hardware the Aussies are claiming bragging rights on. This beast is a product of a barebones military budget which inspired the Aussies to steal shopping carts from supermarkets and go to work with a welding kit. They first welded flattened popcans onto the sides of the carts for armored protection and then fitted out garbage cans with potato guns which were then shoved inside the carts. Extra wheels were scavenged from other carts and welded on to provide all terrain capability and then the whole contraption was painted olive green as if the rattling from the wheels doesn't give it away. It requires a crew of 3 men: 1 rides inside and fires the potato gun wile the other 2 push the cart.
Japanese tactical intelligence at first considered the shopping cart tanks as foolish distractions to be ignored. That all changed when one ignored cart was pushed all the way to a colonel's HQ hut and the Japanese commander himself took a potato in the scrotum.
ANZAC 1300 points vs IJA 1900 points + AI advantage
ANZAC core purchase includes:
3 infantry platoons (1 rifle, 1 jungle, 1 engineer)
2 commando squads
4 Stuart I light tanks
2 shopping cart tanks
4 AA guns (2 light, 2 heavy)
4 mortars (2x 2in, 2x 3in old) with 2 observer teams
supply column
2 snipers
2 Marm II ATR armored cars
2 Bren carriers
2 Loyd carriers
First Battle of New Guinea
"Well you're a right mess. State your business." sniveled General Bennett.
"Fights on mate. We just had it out good with 'em. Reckon they are gonna be comin on stronger now that we riled 'em up and all. Can we be expecting some back-up?" asked Colonel Palmer, a man of good cheer.
"I'm not your mate. I am your general and you will address me as such from now on. And what of your stench? It is revolting yet oddly makes me feel hungry in a way." he sniveled.
"Well I gotta tell ya mate.. er general or whatever the hell ya wanna be called... the native porter humping the bug-off fell off the Kokoda track under his burden on route and got himself gored and tramped by a water buffalo."
"So how did you handle this problem?" asked the general with a scowl.
"We went in firing our rifles in the air to scare off the animal but it just went ahead and disarmed, gored and..."
"No no no, about the loss of the supplies! Get on with it will you!" A few more hairs fell from the general's head with the mounting stress.
"Ack, no worries at all general. We just mixed up our own antibug potion of gun grease, Marmite and good old fashioned urine from our poorly irrigated bladders we did. A bit smelly it is but we are getting to like it and it sure keeps the skeeters off us. It also doubles well as camouflage paint being dark and all. Even keeps the sun from burning us. I brought you back a jar as a souvenir." Colonel Palmer grinned as he put the jar of brackish goop onto the general's desk.
The general sighed deeply. "So are you going to give me your after action report or what are you here for? This mindless chatter is wasting my time. I have so many more important things to do that spend time with a stinky subordinate with no manners."
"Oh absolutely general. Just I gotta sing it to ya cause it's in a song format. It's from the point of view of a native porter who took up a gun and joined us in the defense."
After a groan the general said, "Do you have the pictures from the spotter aircraft circling over the battlefield?"
"I'll have to give those to you during the song general. You see they go together just like toast and Marmite." he answered.
"This is getting more absurd by the moment. Let's hurry into town and get to a karaoke. The whole Pacific theatre could be in jeopardy if I don't hear you sing as soon as possible."
"Oh you'll like my singing general." chirped Palmer. "Just I need to get cleaned up before going to town. There are a lot of women there and..."
"DAMMIT you will #*@$#ing drive us to the karaoke now or join that waterbuffalo you mentioned earlier in a swamp bath!!" roared the beet red general.
