From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

[Cap Mandrake]

**********9th Air Army HQ, Vladivostock, November 1, 1942**********

An ancient projector slows to a stop and the lights in the room come up. Several Red Army officers blink in the gathering light. On the projector table there is a copy of the "Flying Tigers". The label affixed to the can has been hand-signed. It reads, "To the men of the 307th Bomb Group; Kill some Japs. John Wayne"

Gen. Temoshenko: I enjoy dees Capeetaleest feelm very much. Please to eenforrm Mees Mae Clarke that Iya weesh to make her mya brride. <stands and looks pensively out a window> Colonel. One day wee shall have to fight the Americanski. The qualitee of their feelms and aeroplanes is very good. Please to make sure that the deetails of the B-24 are copied to dee smallest deetail.

Deputy CO: Da. I understand sir. Sir, I am cureeous about one teeng, sir.

Gen. Temoshenko: Yes, Colonel, what ees eet?

Deputy CO: Well, sir, I was wondereeng why we arrr speakeeng like thees.

Gen. Temoshenko: I am afrraid Iya do not understand, Colonel. You are my soobordeenate. I must speek the frranklee to you.

Deputy CO: Well, sir. Eet ees dee heavilee accented Eenglish. We are Rrussian, no?

Gen. Temoshenko: Da, Colonel. Deese ees trrue.

[Cap Mandrake]

*******"Recreation Room", No. 27 Sqdrn., RAF, 15:30, November 1, 1942********

No. 27 Sqdrn is the premier night fighter squadron of the far East. In fact, it is the only night fighter squadron of the far East. A trayof battered, deep-fried fish sits under a warming lamp.
Several officers are standing near the food. Every table has a brand new Parchisi set and a bottle of vinegar.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Mr. Kilgore, fancy some cod?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: It's Trout.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Are you sure? It tastes of cod to me.

Flt. Lt Kilgore: No, I mean my name. It's Trout. My given name is Kilgore.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: But it says Kilgore in the briefing room.

Flt. Lt Kilgore: Yes, I know it does.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Why don't you have the authorities change it then?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: I tried. They said they can't change field two on the IBM card unless they also get permission from the real Flt. Lt. Trout Kilgore.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Do you mean to tell me there really is a Trout Kilgore?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: Yes, he inhabits a mirror universe. He flies dayfighters for the FAR.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Ah, then he must have some combat victories?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: No, in his universe, all the bombers fly at night.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Have you met him?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: In a way. I wrote a short story about him. It's called "The Protocols of the Elders of Tralfamador"

Flt Lt. Trayhorn:You are not from around here are you Mr. Trout?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: No, Ileum.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: Is that a ....<steps subtly away> planet?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: Ileum? Phht..no, New York. I have been to Tralfamador, though.

Flt Lt. Trayhorn: New York?

Flt. Lt Kilgore: Nah. Andromeda Galaxy.....

[FeurerKrieg]

So Billy Pilgrim is not alone in our world?

[DuckofTindalos]

[&:][&:][&:][X(][X(][X(]

[BrucePowers]

I'm lost on this one.

[rtrapasso]

You guys don't read Kurt Vonnegut, eh?? [:D]

Kilgore Trout was a hack science fiction writer from Peoria, Illinois in Mr. Vonnegut's books.

At one point Mr. Vonnegut "freed" his character (Kilgore Trout).

Now, there was a REAL "hack" science fiction writer from Peoria, Illinois whom it seemed Mr. Vonnegut was always lampooning in his novels.

Vonnegut released the Kilgore Trout character to the world, this "hack" science fiction writer wasted little time in writing and publishing a novel entitled "Venus on the Half Shell" - and the author (on the cover) was one "Kilgore Trout"

The novel "Venus on the Half Shell" was often referred to in Mr. Vonnegut's novels as Kilgore Trout's greatest work. When the actual novel came out, it was at first thought to be written by Mr. Vonnegut. It was alternatively hailed as "the best thing he's ever written" or "the worst thing he has ever written"

Vonnegut was reportedly enraged, and withdrew his permission for anyone to use the Kilgore Trout name...

but Philip Jose Farmer, the "hack" science fiction writer from Peoria, Illinois , had his laugh, a best seller (for science fiction, at least) and his revenge. [8D]

EDITED FOR CLARITY (i hope).

[rtrapasso]

As further elucidation:

Tralfamador was the planet which Billy Pilgrim (who had become "unglued in time") ended up on in Slaughterhouse Five. He was from Ileum, New York.

Slaughterhouse Five relates some autobiographical events in Mr. Vonnegut's life... Billy Pilgrim was reportedly (and Mr. Vonnegut actually was) in Dresden when it underwent its firebombing, and the book relates what happened during and after. It is widely assumed that Billy Pilgrim's experiences related in the book actually happened to Mr. Vonnegut (and iirc, he said as much in various interviews.)

[rtrapasso]

BTW - Wiki claims that "Kilgore Trout" was supposed to be Theodore Sturgeon. However, Sturgeon lived out in Oregon, and didn't produce the kind of volume (or quality) that "Kilgore Trout" did (according to Vonnegut he wrote over 117 novels and 2000 short stories) - whose works are used only as filler material in pornographic magazines.

PJ Farmer, on the other hand - DOES live in Peoria, is extremely prolific (i have no idea how many novels but it is probably close to 100 or more) and his imagination seems to be similar to that described by Vonnegut. Some of his works can only be described as "pornographic science fiction".

[DuckofTindalos]

Errr... Okay?

[HMS Resolution]

Hey, I got it. I'm just not a Vonnegut fan. Big old crybaby, he was.

[DuckofTindalos]

Heard of Vonnegut, obviously, but never read any of his stuff. Kilgore Trout rang a bell also, but I couldn't place it; certainly didn't associate it with Vonnegut.

[HMS Resolution]

Trust me, you've saved yourself a lot of aggravation.

[DuckofTindalos]

Glad to hear it...

[BrucePowers]

I have never read any Vonnegut. I don't remember reading any Farmer either.

[USSAmerica]

Farmer wrote the Riverworld books, right?&nbsp; I read a bunch of them in my late teens/early 20's.&nbsp; I enjoyed them, but didn't get the impression of "scifi-porn."

[Cap Mandrake]

Yes, Vonnegut was a bit of a grouch. I might be too if somebody volunteered me for the 106th Division and then stuck me up on the Schnee Eifel in the middle of Winter and failed to notice a couple hundred panzers neraby. So it goes. [:)]


Fortunately, Matrix will not have to endure his wrath now that their clever scheme to hide his Kilgore Trout character in an RAF nightfighter squadron in India has been exposed. They are not fooling me with the "T. Kilgore" thing.

[rtrapasso]

ORIGINAL: USS America

Farmer wrote the Riverworld books, right? I read a bunch of them in my late teens/early 20's. I enjoyed them, but didn't get the impression of "scifi-porn."

Yes - he wrote the Riverworld and World of Tiers series.

No - you won't find any of his "blue" stuff unless you really look for it... i was a Farmer fan back in the late 60s - early 70s and ordered everything i could find of his... some of it was hard to find, and it turned out this was the "blue" stuff - if you are interested, i think the first one of the series was called "Image of the Beast".

[Cap Mandrake]

*******13:30, November 2, 1942, 20,000 ft over Hong Kong harbour*********

Capt. Hsiu has flown 61 missions, most merely to drop supplies. This is different. He has been chosen to lead the first naval strike mission in the hsitory of the Chinese Air Force. He directs a flight of 7 venerable Ilyushin bombers. After a flight of 600 miles, they have found their target, a single Japanese freighter at anchor in the harbour. The enemy ship is surrounded by boiling water as bomb after bomb misses its target. At least the flak has been light. The enemy are unacustomed to air attacks in this theatre. He begins a gentle bank to his right for the return journey. As he does this, the bombs of the last plane in the formation begins marching toward the vessel. "A HIT!," he shouts in to his mic, "WE HAVE DONE IT!"

[USSAmerica]

Sweet.&nbsp; [:D]
&nbsp;
After reading the recent thread on uses for the Chinese Air Force, I filed this nugget away to use at some point.&nbsp;

[Onime No Kyo]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

**********9th Air Army HQ, Vladivostock, November 1, 1942**********

An ancient projector slows to a stop and the lights in the room come up. Several Red Army officers blink in the gathering light. On the projector table there is a copy of the "Flying Tigers". The label affixed to the can has been hand-signed. It reads, "To the men of the 307th Bomb Group; Kill some Japs. John Wayne"

Gen. Temoshenko: I enjoy dees Capeetaleest feelm very much. Please to eenforrm Mees Mae Clarke that Iya weesh to make her mya brride. <stands and looks pensively out a window> Colonel. One day wee shall have to fight the Americanski. The qualitee of their feelms and aeroplanes is very good. Please to make sure that the deetails of the B-24 are copied to dee smallest deetail.

Deputy CO: Da. I understand sir. Sir, I am cureeous about one teeng, sir.

Gen. Temoshenko: Yes, Colonel, what ees eet?

Deputy CO: Well, sir, I was wondereeng why we arrr speakeeng like thees.

Gen. Temoshenko: I am afrraid Iya do not understand, Colonel. You are my soobordeenate. I must speek the frranklee to you.

Deputy CO: Well, sir. Eet ees dee heavilee accented Eenglish. We are Rrussian, no?

Gen. Temoshenko: Da, Colonel. Deese ees trrue.

[:D][:D][:D]

I promise not to get offended at this on the condition that you put in a scene with highly accented French sometime soon.