From here to...well...it SEEMS like an eternity

Post descriptions of your brilliant successes and unfortunate demises.

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Cap Mandrake
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Close run affair

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Key below:

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1) Battle for Krung Thep: On March 9, the Jap 23rd Mixed Brigade crosses the river from Bangkok, taking fairly heavy losses from 23rd Chindit Brigade which has been flown in from Moulmein. The Japs do manage to retain a foothold across the river. On the same day, a very large raid of 106 mixed-type Jap bombers from Hanoi with an escort of 45 Zeroes tangle with the 10 Spitfires flying CAP over Krung Thep and 3 RAAF Boomerangs vectored in from Tavoy. The Spits down twice their own losses in Zeroes but the bombers largely get through and leave the airfield barely operational.

On March 10th, infantry from two Chinese divisions at Tavoy and Moulmein is ordered in by air and 23rd Chindits counterattack but cannot dislodge the enemy. Newly operational Spits just landed at Moulmein are transferred to Krung Thep and a Squadron of P-38's from Tavoy is ordered to fly CAP. The Japs come back hard again at the airfield. This time a serious furball ensues and the Japs loses 25 Zeroes and 25 bombers to the loss of 5 Spits and 2 P-38's. The airfield takes more hits but can still support fighters. A Jap support unit crosses the river, taking heavy losses. The lost fighters are replenished and the garrison is ordered to attack again on the 11th. 23rd Indian is one or two days away. If Krung Thep falls then the Allied position at Rahaeng will be untenable.

2) 255th Indian Armoured Regt. has the task of inhibiting enemy movement West from Bangkok. This is the chief emergency retreat unit from Krung Thep and therefore must be kept clear of Jap units.
The position also prevents encirclement of 26th Indian Div guarding
the road to Tavoy to the West. 255th is ordered to drive off Jap infiltrators on the 11th. The strength of the opposition is unkown.
Jap reinforcements are also arriving by land at Bangkok.

3) 55th Chinese Div has moved South to augment the unprepared defensive position of 26th Indian Div. The lead Jap unit from Bandou has just arrived. Both units are ordered over to the attack to try to defeat the enemy in detail before the main force arrives.

4) Burma Area Army is moving inexorably toward Rahaeng. The main effort of 10th Air Force and RAF Liberators and Wellys at Chandpur and Imphal is the interdiction and attrition of these units but the Burmese weather is not cooperating. There are already 20,000 troops and 500 tanks opposite Rahaeng acrsoss the Salween. Combat engineers are guarding the road to Victoria Point which has been reoccupied by the Japs.

5) 44th and 3rd Indian Divisions are unloading at Moulmein after a safe run in by sea. 44th Indian is already battle-ready and is ordered to cross the Salween and strike the tail of the enemy coming down the rail line. Indian XIV Corps has moved East to provide a tenuous supply route to Rahaeng and a possible escape route if they are forced to retreat.

6) Retreating Jap 2nd line troops at Pagan were driven off. Allied units are at Lashio and Taung Gyi and will attack soon. There are now no Jap supply routes via the rail line to Burma Area Army. There is a tenuous link via trail from Taung Gyi. The Allied supply situation at Mandalay is improved and now 7th Armoured and British 2nd Division will move down the rail line to press the Jap rearguard.

The question is, can they break through to Rahaeng before Burma Corps unites with 12th Army or before the run out of supply?
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RE: Close run affair

Post by witpqs »

My God it's a barroom brawl!
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rtrapasso
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RE: Close run affair

Post by rtrapasso »

Sheesh... i spent a good while looking for this stupid coupon... i'm sticking this in here anyway:



The British Navy officer wearing leftenant insignia and the American Army sergeant clothed in rather disreputable and sweat stained khakis trudged through the streets of Darwin.

A flea-bitten pitbull trotted along more or less with them, occasionally dashing off to chase the local birds who quickly got out of her reach. They both look tired, and the
officer looked more than a bit disgusted.

"Loggman, tell me why I let you talk me into these things..." said the lieutenant, more to himself than to his companion.

"Hey, Miller, it's FREE BOOZE!" the sergeant replied.

"And where did you hear about this?"

"Not rightly sure, I was drunk at the time, but this person said that they had won a couple of contests, and had gotten some tickets for drinks. All we have to do is show up
at this Yossarian's house and claim the prize. Look, I got a coupon, and he said the other prize was we just had to tell them we won the 1 for 2 prize."

"One for two? Doesn't that mean we get one when we pay for two? Or did you mean the other way around? ." the leftenant exclaimed.

The sergeant stopped, scratched his head, and look thoughtful, then noticed the dog about to run off the end of a dock, and whistled furiously at it. The dog skittered to a halt,
and reluctantly started to return.

The sergeant still look puzzled. "Er... I'm not really sure... let's just find out."

The officer heaved a deep sigh. "We can't really find out if we can't FIND the bloomin place! Looks like his house should be right here, but all I see is that rusty truck, and it looks like it hasn't moved in weeks." He gestured towards a sad looking 4x4 Ford truck with two flat tires, and with stencilling on the hood reading "FHTWILLE 03/42B"

Loggman accidentally dropped the coupon, and the naval officer snatched it up, glanced at it, and said with some asperity "Good lord, man, this coupon is expired."
Loggman retrieved the coupon, looked at it, took a stub a pencil out, wetted the eraser and started rubbing the paper. "I'm a trained intelligence officer. I can fix that."

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Cap Mandrake
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Editor's Note (anon.)

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Editor's Note (anon.): It has come to the attention of the board that
efforts have been made to pass doctored drink coupon's at Yossarian's Home. This will absolutely NOT be tolerated unless the bearer can prove a kinship with General Yamashita, who has a terrible temper. thank you.
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Editor's Note (anon.)

Post by Cap Mandrake »

FHTWILLE
????? hmmm
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rtrapasso
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RE: Editor's Note (anon.)

Post by rtrapasso »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake
FHTWILLE
????? hmmm


Some one in the motor pool stencil division (Ford Truck section) messed up... it should have been

"FHTWISLAE 03 1943B" * [8|] [:o]

Ford Motors has denied responsibility, and refuses to issue a recall.

*as a clue, the last letter in the first abbreviation stands for "Eternity"
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Cap Mandrake
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EMTOOA

Post by Cap Mandrake »

**********Paint Room, Ford Assembly Plant, Dearborn, Mich., March 10, 1943********

Union Thug: <approaches department supervisor and taps him on the shoulder> Hey Joe, we are getting a lot of complaints about spelling errors. I just got a call from some Captain at Aberdeen. It seems he got a whole trainload of Stuarts with the designation "EMTOOA".

Shop Steward:
Oh, that would be Afua. That's him over there <points in Afua's direction. He is discovered to be a very large man in a brightly colored cloth skirt and no shirt>

Union Thug: Holy Hell! What is with the dress?


Shop Steward:
He is Samoan.

Union Thug: What the Hell is he doing in Dearborn?


Shop Steward:
Work furlough from Terre Haute. He is doing 10 years for kidnapping Admirals or something.

Union Thug: Admirals? Can we trust him?


Shop Steward:
Who, Afua? Ah, it's a bum rap. The man is gentle as a lamb. His English ain't so good but he is a magician with the paint gun.

Union Thug: Well, check his spelling every once in a while or something.


Shop Steward:
Sure boss.

Union Thug: OK Joe <begins to walk away, then turns back> Hey Joe, the graveyard is complaining you guys are making them look bad. Can you slow the unit production down 10-15%, just 3-4 units that is all I am asking.


Shop Steward:
Sure boss. Anything for the war.
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Cap Mandrake
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Technicolor

Post by Cap Mandrake »

*********Radio Room, HMS Empire Rowan, Rangoon Harbor, 07:20, March 10, 1943******

Admiral Draemel: This is "Tannenbaum", over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: "Tannin-what" over?

Admiral Draemel: Tannenbaum sir, over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: What the Hell is a "Tannenbaum", over?

Admiral Draemel: It means Christmas Tree, sir, in German, over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: What side are you on, Draemel, over?

Admiral Draemel: Why ours, of course, over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: Oh very well. How would it be if we just called you Christams Tree, over?

Admiral Draemel: That would be fine, sir, over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: Fine..Draemel..I mean Christams Tree, we need you to find Gen. Chung and warn him to be ready to embark for evacuation to Moulmein by noon. He has no radios in his division and the messages floated down the Irrawaddy in rice paper bags are just too unreliable, over.

Admiral Draemel: Yes, sir Gen. Chang to be ready to embark by noon, over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: No, no, no Christmas Tree, it's Chung, over.

Admiral Draemel: Roger that, Ching by 14:00, over.

Eastern Fleet HQ: No, no, no! It's Chung by 12:00, over.

Admiral Draemel: Roger that, how ill I recognize him, over?

Eastern Fleet HQ: Oh, he is quite distinctive, I understand. You should have no problem......
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Technicolor

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Rare color photographs of the meeting of Gen Chung and Admiral Draemel

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Cap Mandrake
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Bremerton Dance Club

Post by Cap Mandrake »

Here I am at 19:00 on a Saturday waiting for Stalker Girl to get off work. I am a mere shell of my previous self [:)]



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Cap Mandrake
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His Honor, William F. Devin

Post by Cap Mandrake »

******Office of William F. Devin, Mayor of Seattle, March 11, 1943******


William F. Devin: Commander thank you for coming. I hope my secretary made you comfortable. <pauses...searching for words> Commander, this isn't easy for me in wartime but I have my duties to my constituents...ermm...many are wondering if the SeaBees are finally going to leave town.

Commander Chancre: yes, Mister Mayor, I realize this may have been a burden on the local population...well...at least part of the population..but...most of the SeaBees were slated to work on the AlCan Highway, but we came all the way up to discover the darn thing already exists. I am truly sorry sir. I am working up some plans to build a new luxury resort on Amchitka but I haven't got top brass to go along with it yet.....
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Cap Mandrake
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Amchitka Spa and Golf Resort

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[:)]

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rtrapasso
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RE: Technicolor

Post by rtrapasso »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Rare color photographs of the meeting of Gen Chung and Admiral Draemel

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That durn pomegranate juice won't come out, will it? [:'(] [:D]
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witpqs
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RE: Bremerton Dance Club

Post by witpqs »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Here I am at 19:00 on a Saturday waiting for Stalker Girl to get off work. I am a mere shell of my previous self [:)]

Hey Bob (rtrapasso),

Is there a medical name for this condition? [:'(]
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rtrapasso
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RE: Bremerton Dance Club

Post by rtrapasso »

ORIGINAL: witpqs
ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Here I am at 19:00 on a Saturday waiting for Stalker Girl to get off work. I am a mere shell of my previous self [:)]

Hey Bob (rtrapasso),

Is there a medical name for this condition? [:'(]
Oh, probably... i am going to guess it is something along the lines of "connubialis debilito"* [:D] [;)]

(courtesy of http://www.translation-guide.com/free_o ... h&to=Latin )

*(Exhaustion was translated to "debilito", but doing the reverse translation gives "to weaken" for "debilito")

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USSAmerica
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RE: Technicolor

Post by USSAmerica »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Rare color photographs of the meeting of Gen Chung and Admiral Draemel

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Mike

"Good times will set you free" - Jimmy Buffett

"They need more rum punch" - Me

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Artwork by The Amazing Dixie
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Cap Mandrake
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RE: Bremerton Dance Club

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: rtrapasso

Oh, probably... i am going to guess it is something along the lines of "connubialis debilito"* [:D] [;)]

Uggh...that sounds bad. Can I take anything for that. Vitamin E or Saw Palmetto oil, or something? I was telling my brother about my headaches with the HA and Frauline Braun. He asked, "what are they charging you with, robbing the cradle?" (I think he was referring to Stalker Girl) [:D]



**************UPDATE ON BURMA/SIAM, MARCH 12, 1943************************


Krung Thep: 23rd Indian Division, after a forced march, arrived at Krung Thep in time for the counterattack. The Jap bombers were nowhere to be found after tangling with the Spits for two days. Together with 23rd Chindit and elements of two Chinese divisions, they drove back the Jap 23rd Mixed Brigade across the river. The Japs deduced that we were reinforcing by air and staged LRCAP over Krung Thep and Rahaeng. None of the transports were shot down over Krung Thep. See below for what happened at Rahaeng. Even so, it is now unsafe to get the remainder of the two Chinese divisions into Krung Thep by air. They will instead march South and try to skirt Bangkok to the NE to reach Krung Thep. The supply situation is marginal at Krung Thep. I may have to lower the number of Spits there. Krung Thep airfield is now fully operational (I think they put in new sod and repaired the outhouse as it a level 1 field [:)]) Also, 23rd Indian div will turn right around and head for Rahaeng to help with the big fight that is sure to come there.

Rahaeng: 95% of 14th and 16th Chindit Brigades reached Rahaeng by air. They make excellent air-transportable units as all their weapons are man portable and they have short logisitical tails. Tragically, the Japs spotted the stream of transports flying in from Myitkyinia and jumped them with fighters. The last of the the support units were aboard. The entire cast of the 14th Chindit Brigade Glee Club and Harmonica Ensemble were lost. The supply situation at Rahaeng is deteriorating and it will now be impossible to supply by air for a bit. Indian XIV Corps HQ has pushed East form Moulmein to link by jungle trail. 12th Army will need to get some supply to Rahaeng somehow. All of 80th adn 20th Indian Brigades are now in Rahaeng except for their artillery. Jap troops concentration North of Rahaeng (now at least 80,000+) are being bombed from Imphal and Moulemein. Allied fighters are gone from Rahaeng because of the supply situation.

Rangoon/Burma Railroad: 7th Armoured have caught up with the Jap rearguard NE of the Irrawaddy (near Rangoon). The strength of the Japs there is unkown but 7th Armoured is orderd to shock attack to keep the pressure on the Jap column moving toward Rahaeng. The entire British 18th Division and an artillery regiment missed the turn to Rangoon and ended up 30 miles in deep jungle instead of with the schwerepunkt of 7th Armoured. [:@] Lashio was attacked by a Colonial Brigade with some success, bringing fortifications down to 7. All of 44th and 3rd Indian Divisions ar enow ashore at Moulmein and are battle ready. They will cross the Salween together and try to cut up the center of the Jap column moving to Rahaeng. The Japs have bypassed Rangoon which is guarded only by 200 Chinese.

Bangkok/Singapore Railway: 26th Indian Div and 55th Chinese Div attack the lead elements of the Jap force moving up from Bandou, driving back a Jap mixed regiment and two SNLF units. 55th Div is ordered to help the combat engineers guarding the road to Victoria Point. japs are moving North there too. 44th Indian Brigade, though battle-weary, is ordered South from Moulemein to help out. 255th Indian Armoured regt crushes some infiltrators West of Bangkok.
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RE: Bremerton Dance Club

Post by witpqs »

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

Rangoon/Burma Railroad: 7th Armoured have caught up with the Jap rearguard NE of the Irrawaddy (near Rangoon).

I hope that no fossils were crushed under-tread. [&:]
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With 251 Coy, Royal Engineers

Post by Cap Mandrake »

ORIGINAL: witpqs
I hope that no fossils were crushed under-tread. [&:]


******Jungle Trail 210 NNE Mandalay, March 13, 1943*******


<Lt. Uppington-Smyth approaches the command Bren carrier, a small piece of shale in his hand. He studies a set of small phalanges and behind them, a tantalizing regular pattern that looks like a feather. He leaves an area well-demarcated with red flags and steps onto the well-rutted jungle trail.>

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Any luck Sargeant?

Sgt. Bonebrake: I'm afraid not, sir. No sign of Brigade. I have tried for hours. No luck with Corps, either. Do you think it's the weather sir?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: <looks toward a weather front which is dumping rain on the nearby jungle> No sargeant....no I don't... I am afraid it may be something more sinister.

Sgt. Bonebrake: Ah, gremlins then, sir?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: <continues to look into distance> No sargeant, I mean our enemy.

Sgt. Bonebrake: Ah, mossies you mean, sir?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: No sargeant, I mean the Japs. I fear the clever little yellow bastards may have fallen upon them in ambush.

Sgt. Bonebrake: The entire brigade sir? Why that's hundreds of tanks sir. That would have to be the mother of all ambushes.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Yes...yes it would sargeant, but one musn't underestimate one's enemy, musn't one?

Sgt. Bonebrake: No sir, I suppose one musn't. <rolls eyes... but his insubordination is unseen as the Lt. is still looking toward the horizon...as a matter of fact, now that I think about it, the Lt. almost never makes good eye contact and is completley clueless about irony and non-verbal cues. Honestly, the guy has something wrong with him. Seriously. He can talk about the minutiae of pleistocene flora for hours until you want to plunge an ice pick into your ear canals. I don't know what you call it but it should have a name because the guy is just wierd..anyway..back to the story>

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Sargeant, I am convinced. We musn't dither. Brigade needs us. We shall leave a squad to guard the fossil bed and the remainder of the company shall push on to relieve Brigade. We haven't heard from them in days. It must be ghastly. I shall speak to the men. <he climbs atop the Bren carrier> MEN! WE ARE GOING TO HELP BRIGADE. PLEASE GET READY. THANK YOU.

Sgt. Bonebrake:<soto voce> Sir, shouldn't you say something inspirational?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Ah yes, good point Sargeant. <turns again toward the fossil field> MEN..AT THIS JUNCTURE I WOULD LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING INSPIRATIONAL....UMMM.....ENGLAND EXPECTS EVERY MAN TO DO HIS DUTY...HUZZAH! Are there any questions?!

Private: Yes, sir. I'm Welsh, sir.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Ah, yes, I see....how about FOR GOD AND COUNTRY!

Sgt. Bonebrake: <soto voce> Sir, the Burmese native bearers. I am not sure they are Christian.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Ah, yes, good point Sargeant. Very well...FOR YOUR WIVES AND MOTHERS!

Private #2: Me mum passed sir. God bless her.

Private #3: And I'm not married sir.

Private #4: Nor am I sir.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Very well..how about..FOR YOUR MOTHERS OR FOR YOUR WIVES OR FOR YOUR GIRLFRIENDS!

Private #2: What about Johnson, he hasn't a proper girlfriend?

Private #3: Unless you count that whore we bought him for his 18th birthday at Karachi.

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: Very well..how is this? <some frustration beginning to show> For you mothers OR your wives OR your girlfriends OR you paid consorts?

Private #2: Huzzah!

Private #4: Wot about Gaylord, sir?

Lt. Uppington-Smyth: What is the matter with Gaylord? <Sgt. Bonebrake leans over and whispers in his ear. A rare facial expression comes over the Lt's face. It looks vaguely like what others would recognize as surprise> Oh dear.....
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Cap Mandrake
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Cinnamon scented pine cones

Post by Cap Mandrake »

UPDATE:

Stalker Girl surreptitiously bought me a basket of cinnamon scented pine cones and put it near the fireplace in my family room. I only discovered the subterfuge when one of my Labs grabbed one of the pine cones in her mouth, tossed it on the fake Persian carpet and began to roll over it with her neck like she would a 6 day dead rabbit.

Clearly, the Lab wasn't the only thing marking territory. Previously, this might have set off alarm bells, but I fear I am losing my will to resist. I hope the planning for the Viking funeral pyre is going well.

I tried to discourage the lab supervisor from the old country who was sending me E. E. Cummings poetry. I sent her a WWI poem by Siegfried Sassoon. It was full of dead soldiers and cynicism. I was confident it would drive her away without messy "foreign entanglements". The problem is she loved it. She must be the President of the Siegfried Sassoon fan club. She went nuts, sending me his biography and replying with even more of his dark poems, claiming he was a "national hero". Clearly, I miscalculated.

Oh yes...Burma and Siam:


The Japs found the Rahaeng worm hole and teleported 50 Type II's 100 miles into the jungle. I hate quantum mechanics. I realy do. I set the P-38's to cover Rahaeng airfield after they raided there. We shall see. I brought in 60 transports (C-47's and Dakotas, which are really C-47's with enamel ash trays). 23rd Indian Div is racing North to reinforce Rahaeng. The RN carriers are going to try to escort in a supply convoy under bad weather. Attacks on Lashio continue. This is the last Jap supply center in central Burma save Taung Gyi.





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