OT Dating 101 for those new to the scene..

[Canoerebel]

Never mind.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Canoerebel

Never mind.

Sometimes the most understated comment is the funniest. [:D]

[Kwik E Mart]

this makes the bastonge commanders response of "nuts" to the surrender request seem almost laughable...

[jeffk3510]

Ddog-

I have a an email in my inbox from you titled "Merry Christmas"....is it safe?

[Grotius]

Funny story. At least you're (1) not a Twitter user, (2) not a member of Congress, and (3) not endowed with the surname "Weiner."

[Misconduct]

Me and my opponent john email each other daily, in fact we both have daily and private email accounts. All to often my only emails are from my gf, and my PBEM opponent.

However I don't think my GF will be getting my Pbem game and my opponent my wiener shots any time soon, her being a conservative asian girl, I would not live to see a single day if my/her naughty photos surfaced, enough I actually deleted them a while back.

We play pranks on each other about as often as once a week, I came up with an idea of pretending to make a mass email with her naked photos then calling her over and explaining what happened, I thought 10 seconds about it and realized hell has no fury like a typhoon'ed 105lb asian woman just shreeding every inch of my body.

The reason I thought about it? Days before I was on the throne after she brought me tacos from taco bell, she quickly opened the door and threw a glass of water on my face and the other "tub of butter" was full of flour. Not a pretty sight believe me.

I did get her back though don't worry, I pulled off the famous Guadalcanal Landing. Most nights she will turn the lights off and burn a few scented candles, while pouring her Bath soap in the water, instead I pulled a Makin raid and switched the Shampoo with
skins safe dye, when she got out of the tub a gigantic scream came, as well as a very blue girlfriend.

gotta say, she made a very cute avatar girl even if she's only 5'2.

[jeffk3510]

ORIGINAL: Grotius

Funny story. At least you're (1) not a Twitter user, (2) not a member of Congress, and (3) not endowed with the surname "Weiner."

Weiner Holder 2012

[packerpete]

Now that is funny and shows you have an excellent relationship. Unfortunately, for me, I have never gone to quite that extreme. LOL My personnel fav is the Dutch oven trick. I have to think some more.

[jeffk3510]

ORIGINAL: packerpete

Now that is funny and shows you have an excellent relationship. Unfortunately, for me, I have never gone to quite that extreme. LOL My personnel fav is the Dutch oven trick. I have to think some more.

The "Dutch Oven" always works....

"We didn't know it could cook things!"

[bigred]

Two thoughts come to mind.
1.  Are you planning to run for an elected office(the name Wiener comes to mind)?
2.  You mentioned plausible dependability.  Hummmmm, that sounds political.  Well I guess you can use this thread for plausible dependability. 
 

[Admiral Mitscher]

I think the sending of the pics was a cunning play to take his opponent's gaze of the campaign map. I wouldn't be surprised if while his opponent is looking at Ddog's naked butt, a deep carrier raid isn't sneaking-up on a main base.

[jeffk3510]

ORIGINAL: Admiral Mitscher

I think the sending of the pics was a cunning play to take his opponent's gaze of the campaign map. I wouldn't be surprised if while his opponent is looking at Ddog's naked butt, a deep carrier raid isn't sneaking-up on a main base.

Not so sure it was his butt that was a snapshot... not that I would want to see either... but still

[Ddog]

ORIGINAL: bigred

Two thoughts come to mind.
1.  Are you planning to run for an elected office(the name Wiener comes to mind)?
2.  You mentioned plausible dependability.  Hummmmm, that sounds political.  Well I guess you can use this thread for plausible dependability. 
 

The funny thing is I did make a half-hearted attempt to run for congress in 08 as an Independent. I was about 2,500 signatures short from getting on the ballot. But I registered about 1000 high school students to vote and hopefully got some people to open their eyes.

(Since this is not a religion and politics forum I won't go into what party or beliefs and I would ask others to refrain as well)

But I digress (hope I spelled and used that word in the proper context)......I wanted to share a dating experience from the other night.

I met a woman online and we chatted for a few days and decided to go out. I was working fairly late and there were not many places open past 2200, so we ended up at a Steak and Shake. Not my typical first date choice, but it sufficed. This girl was from Arkansas and had an accent and attitude that matched....Pure country!!! We arrive at the place, gave the ritual hug and "you look great" greetings. Went in and sat down. We do some small chat and decide what we are going to eat. The waitress comes over to take our order and she tells me to go first. So I order the typical double burger and fries with a milk shake. But I ordered my burger plain. Now I don't always eat my burgers plain but I really like the Steak and shake burgers and it's like putting A-1 on a good steak, just not happening. Well she belts out in a "big country" accent, "What? You are not going to get any fix'ins? Well I'm a country girl hunny, run my through the garden and give me everything on mine!" Well the food comes out and her burger is about twice the size of mine with all the stuff on it. And she says something about how all those fix'ins look goooooddddd. We get to eating and chatting a bit, and I glance up to see mustard, ketchup, and mayo running down her chin. She laughs a little and keeps on going, wipping her mouth off. Well we keep eating and she is going through napkins like a any TF goes thru ships when located by the KB in 1941. With every bite more and more runs down her face and she is holding the burger together like it's her buddy that got shredded by an artillery shell on the beach at Iwo Jima. But she is a good ol' girl with a sense of humor and we get to laughing about it. Laughing harder with each bite. Well she starts laughing sooo hard that she has tears streaming down her face......carrying mascara with them. So she has food all around her mouth and black streaks down her cheeks. I was rolling so hard my face and gut hurt. Well we get done and she goes and cleans up and then comes back and sits down. We are exhausted from laughter. She picks up her shake and takes a drink and when she sets it back down there is a stripe of whipped cream across the bridge of her nose from where the top of the glass touched it. I try not to laugh and I'm telling her about it....but she thought I was just kidding because of all the stuff before.....about that time the waitress walks over to check on us and looks at her and "Hun, you have a little something on your nose." I laughed so hard I about passed out, and I think she may even have pee'd a little.

It was the best 20 bucks I have spent on a burger so far. Just for the entertainment value!!!

[Cap Mandrake]

That is a very self-confident woman. She violated the "just a salad" rule on the first date.

A true gentleman, by the way, would have offered to get the mayo off her ...umm...cleavage.

[Ddog]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

That is a very self-confident woman. She violated the "just a salad" rule on the first date.

A true gentleman, by the way, would have offered to get the mayo off her ...umm...cleavage.

Hey Capt M.

I read in one of your AAR's that refered to a stalker. I have one of those as well now lol She actually broke into my house and laid wait for me....fortunate for me her best friend gave me a heads up and a disaster was averted.

[Cap Mandrake]

ORIGINAL: Ddog

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

That is a very self-confident woman. She violated the "just a salad" rule on the first date.

A true gentleman, by the way, would have offered to get the mayo off her ...umm...cleavage.

Hey Capt M.

I read in one of your AAR's that refered to a stalker. I have one of those as well now lol She actually broke into my house and laid wait for me....fortunate for me her best friend gave me a heads up and a disaster was averted.

It is a burden we must bear. Try to look frumpy or out of date. Do you have a Members Only jacket? Also, don't wash your car. That helps. Stay safe, man.

[freeboy]

lmao.. actually took me about 5 mins to stop crying that was ( is) PRICELESS

[LoBaron]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

That is a very self-confident woman. She violated the "just a salad" rule on the first date.

Ok admittedly I am out of the dating scene for so long that about every question I ask would
sound dumb, but why is there such a thing as a "just salad rule"?

Isn´t it more impressive when a woman look hot but still is able to eat a burger? Might hint
something about her ability to keep her weight while retaining her ability to enjoy a good meal. [&:]

[Grfin Zeppelin]

ORIGINAL: LoBaron

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

That is a very self-confident woman. She violated the "just a salad" rule on the first date.

Ok admittedly I am out of the dating scene for so long that about every question I ask would
sound dumb, but why is there such a thing as a "just salad rule"?

Isn´t it more impressive when a woman look hot but still is able to eat a burger? Might hint
something about her ability to keep her weight while retaining her ability to enjoy a good meal. [&:]

Certainly another bizzare Americano dating rule O.o

[GreyJoy]

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

ORIGINAL: Ddog

ORIGINAL: Cap Mandrake

That is a very self-confident woman. She violated the "just a salad" rule on the first date.

A true gentleman, by the way, would have offered to get the mayo off her ...umm...cleavage.

Hey Capt M.

I read in one of your AAR's that refered to a stalker. I have one of those as well now lol She actually broke into my house and laid wait for me....fortunate for me her best friend gave me a heads up and a disaster was averted.

It is a burden we must bear. Try to look frumpy or out of date. Do you have a Members Only jacket? Also, don't wash your car. That helps. Stay safe, man.

Once i spent a night with a girl...i was drunk...she was drunk...was only a "one night lover" for me...and, despite being drunk, i managed to be pretty clear on that point...

The next morning, with a nail deep into my head and a terrible nausea, i sent her out....maybe a little bit brutally but still.... however i thought it was all over...
The next night she rang at my door and i was so idiot to let her in...thought she just wanted to clarify or explain or something like that....

Instead she broke in and she grabbed my little nuts screaming something "And now what do you do?! And Now!??!!? Tell me now what do you do mother*******!!!!"...i was terrified and felt completely impotent...i tried to explain...the alchool, the athmosphere....whatever....but the more i explained the more the iron fist was closing hard on "them"... then i started to beg.... and she finally released them.... she then left, right after having broken a couple of plates in my kicthen....

...one of the worst experience in my life... can she be defined a stalker?...don't know...but for sure a crazy-damned-bastard! [:-]

Then i started to love the song "YOU AIN'T THE FIRST" by Guns'n'Roses [:D]